The Nice Maker Evolution

in

ADHD is pretty interesting; an idea pops into my head that gets me excited, and I spend the day working on that project. Hyperfocus FTW!

However, I don’t always plan well or think strategically. Even strategically, it sounds like scheming in some greedy capitalist way. Rest assured, it’s not in this case, but I will happily earn as much money as possible. It’s kind of important with college tuition (times two) and retirement and such.

As you read in my previous post, I have rebooted the Nice Maker to focus on hosting special events where we can meet up in person once again. However, the Nice Maker has always been much more.

And so, without dwelling on the topic here. I invite you to sign up below to get the full picture of where I intend to take the Nice Maker, and I invite you to join in because it will be awesome.

How to know, respect, and connect yourself.

in ,

In a world that often prioritizes speed, productivity, and conformity, it's easy to feel disconnected from our true selves. We often rush through life, barely pausing to reflect on who we are, what we value, and what brings us joy. This reality impacts everyone, regardless of their operating system. The Root Down process will help us better understand ourselves, respect our unique qualities, and forge deeper connections with others.

Understanding the Root Down Process

The Root Down process is a concept inspired by the experiences of individuals with ADHD, who often struggle to fit into a neurotypical world. My method encourages self-discovery, self-respect, and improved connections with others.

Here’s how it works.

Know Yourself - Understanding oneself is the foundation of personal growth and well-being. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values clarifies decision-making and helps you navigate life more effectively. For individuals with ADHD, this self-awareness is often heightened due to the daily challenges we face. However, anyone can benefit from taking time to explore their inner landscape.

When you know yourself, you can make choices that align with your true nature. This reduces inner conflict, boosts self-confidence, and increases overall life satisfaction.

Respect Yourself - Self-respect is the cornerstone of mental and emotional health. It means accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all. The ADHD community often faces stigmatization and misunderstanding, making self-acceptance challenging. Nonetheless, it's a vital step in the Root Down process.

Respecting yourself fosters self-esteem, resilience, and a sense of empowerment. It allows you to set healthy boundaries, say no when necessary, and prioritize your well-being.

Connecting Yourself - Humans are inherently social beings. Building meaningful connections with others is essential for emotional health and personal growth. However, these connections must be based on authenticity, not masks. We must seek out like-minded individuals who understand our unique challenges.

Authentic connections provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and enrich your life with diverse perspectives and experiences.

The Root Down will transform your workplace team or conference audience. Learn more and say hello here.

Let's talk about ageism

in
Agesim

I recently interviewed Ashton Applewhite, an internationally recognized expert on ageism. Applewhite has been recognized by the UN and the World Health Organization as one of the Healthy Aging 5050 leaders working to make the world a better place to grow old. She has also written a book, "This Chair Rocks. A Manifesto Against Ageism," inspired by her interviews with people over 80 for a project called "So You Want to Retire?" that aimed to address everyday ageism assumptions.

During the conversation, we discuss the changing nature of work and retirement. We agree that the traditional concept of retirement is becoming obsolete as people live longer and need to retrain and learn new skills constantly. We also agree that work is essential for providing connection and purpose in life, especially for men. The information age has also provided new opportunities for people to work remotely and continue working at any age. We touch on the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement and how retiring too early can harm some people, particularly business owners.

Language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated.

We spoke about retirement and the judgment that can come with it. The traditional retirement age is obsolete, and that retirement itself needs to be rethought. I acknowledge my privilege in having work I love and control over my schedule. We also mention how language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated. We both agree that aging is not necessarily sad or depressing and the importance of continuous learning and growth.

During the conversation, we discussed how aging is fascinating and touched on fields of study and aspects of the human condition. We also agree that referring to someone as "old" is not inherently insulting but only becomes problematic when attached to value judgments. We then shift to embracing aging and how physical function is not necessarily linked to age. Personal experiences such as my annoying back pain and eye problems are shared to illustrate this point.

We discuss how apprehension about aging is often related to stereotypes and stigma around physical and mental capacity, which is ableism rather than ageism. While physical and cognitive decline is inevitable with aging, it affects each person differently. The negative aspects of aging, such as the possibility of running out of money or ending up alone, are legitimate fears. Still, society tends to only focus on the negative side of aging. I embrace both the positives and negatives of aging and question the notion that everything about getting old is awful while everything about being young is great.

Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

During the podcast, we discuss how society reflexively blames age for various physical issues and how this can be harmful. People should ask for help more often and destigmatize asking for and accepting help. Individuals should remember that everyone needs help at some point, and it is a two-way transaction. Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

We also share a story of an older woman who was offended when a young man offered to help her at a self-checkout machine and explain that the problem is not the offer itself but the assumption that the person needs help solely based on their age or appearance. We emphasize the importance of listening to and respecting the answer when offering help and suggest a kinder approach of offering seats to anyone who might need it rather than solely based on age or disability.

The podcast highlights the need for self-awareness and challenging internalized stereotypes to create a more inclusive and respectful society. During the conversation, we discuss the importance of respecting everyone regardless of age and physical ability. We agreed that ageism is deeply ingrained in Western culture, and we must examine our biases towards aging and physical ability. We also mention the benefits of living in mixed-age communities where everyone has visibility and purpose.

Listen to our full interview on the Nice Podcast.

How to define your values

in
How do I find my values?

Let's talk about something important today - defining our values. I firmly believe that understanding our values is the key to living a fulfilling life and becoming effective leaders.

Now, I know that defining your values can be tough. It's not always easy to put into words what really matters to you. But don't worry; I've got some prompts to help you out.

First off, ask yourself: what really lights me up? What brings me joy and fulfillment in life? Is it spending time with loved ones, pursuing your passions, or making a difference in the world? Think about what motivates you and drives you to take action.

Next, consider your non-negotiables. What are the things that you absolutely refuse to compromise on, no matter what? Maybe it's integrity, honesty, or authenticity. These values are the foundation of who you are and what you stand for.

It's also important to think about your legacy. What do you want to be remembered for? What impact do you want to have on the world? This can help you uncover values related to leadership, social justice, or environmentalism. Consider your legacy.

“Personal value is the kind of value we receive from being active instead of passive, creative instead of consumptive. ”
— Clay Shirky.

And finally, reflect on the people you admire. What qualities do they possess that you aspire to? Is it kindness, generosity, or courage? These values can give you insight into what matters most to you.

I know this process isn't easy. But remember, defining your values is an ongoing journey. Your values may shift and change over time, and that's okay. The important thing is to stay true to what matters most to you and to live in alignment with your values every day.

I believe that your true personal value comes from the impact you have on others and the world, not from what you have or achieve. Defining your personal values is an essential step towards building a fulfilling life and achieving personal growth.

Friendship and Loneliness: Exploring the Social Coin

in

As social beings, we all crave human connection and interaction. We thrive on forming relationships and building bonds with others. However, sometimes we find ourselves on the opposite end of the spectrum, feeling lonely and disconnected from those around us. Even surrounded by people who love us, loneliness can rear its ugly head.

Recent studies have highlighted the detrimental effects of loneliness on our physical and mental health, with some even calling it the modern killer disease. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, collated data from seventy studies and found that social isolation, living alone, and feeling lonely increased the chances of dying by about 30 percent. Not good.

On the other hand, spending time with friends can positively impact our health and well-being. It's not just about having a large number of friends but rather the sense of relaxedness that comes with spending quality time with them. According to Nick Christakis and James Fowler, authors of Connected, having happy friends who live nearby can increase our own happiness by 25-34 percent.

But it's not just about the number of friends we have; it's also about the quality of those friendships. A depressed friend is six times more likely to make us depressed than a happy friend is to make us happy. And while we may think of our online connections as friends, studies have shown that the number of Facebook friends we have doesn't necessarily correlate with the size of our social circles in the real world. I have thousands of friends on Facebook, so I know that’s true. I hardly heard from any of them during my recent hiatus from social media.

We need human connection and interaction to thrive

So, what makes a good friend? Professor Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist, has spent years studying the behavior of wild animals and exploring social evolution. He found that our networks are limited to around 150 slots, and we first slot in our family members before filling the remaining slots with unrelated friends. Dunbar also discovered that our number of friends correlates with the size of the key parts of our brains used in social situations. And yes, if you’re thinking “Dunbar’s Number,” you’re thinking of the right guy.

In today's world, where we are more connected than ever, it's easy to mistake online interactions for real friendships. But as Dunbar points out, it's important to have meaningful, offline connections with others before disaster strikes. These relationships are built on a sense of obligation and the exchange of favors, people whom we wouldn't feel embarrassed about asking for help.

In the end, we need to find a balance between socializing and solitude, between friendship and loneliness. It's okay to enjoy spending time alone, but it's important not to isolate ourselves completely. As social beings, we need human connection and interaction to thrive, to feel happy and fulfilled. So, reach out to an old friend, join a new group, and make meaningful connections that will enrich your life.

I recommend picking up a copy of Dunbar’s book, Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships. He wrote, “Friendship and loneliness are two sides of the same social coin, and we lurch through life from one to the other.” Most of this blog post is inspired by notes I took reading his book and our conversation on my podcast.

Last minute speakers in Nashville. What to do when your keynote cancels.

in ,

Last minute keynote speakers in Nashville can be tricky to find and even harder to secure. The following are five tips on how to get a Nashville-based keynote speaker booked quickly. Don’t panic, you’re just a click away from finding a replacement speaker in Music City, Tennessee… and breathing again.

Read More

Tips for trying standup comedy for the first time

in

I performed stand-up comedy for the first time last night. I didn’t bomb, phew!  

I’ve been a comedy fan for my entire life. I grew up listening to all of the greats on albums and watching them on TV. I studied improv at Second City in Toronto. I’ve performed improv in Canada, US, England, Scotland, and Ireland. But standup comedy is a different medium than improv.

In improv, actors rely on one another to support and build a scene together (or to save them from one with a stage swipe) using the audience's suggestions AKA gives. Standup is solo, though. You’re on your own. 

As a keynote speaker, I’m pretty comfortable on stages in front of audiences. I’ve delivered many presentations to thousands of people over the years. Audiences are more forgiving in these arenas because they are there to learn. 

A presentation can’t be crammed with countless facts alone; that would be a train wreck. But a comedian is the opposite when you replace facts with jokes because their success metric is the number of laughs they receive in a set.  

Stories are the medium used to deliver facts, gives, and jokes. 

I’ve performed at several storytelling events over the years. This experience is vital for professional speakers, improvisers, and comedians to consider. Stories are the medium used to deliver facts, gives, and jokes. 

When I think of my favorite comedians, it’s all about the story. Developing that narrative and fitting the jokes within makes excellent comedy.

Tips for first-time comics (even at 50-years-old)

Here are some tips if you’re planning to perform standup for the first time. I'm no expert, of course, but here are some things to consider. 

Build a network. I took stand-up comedy classes at Third Coast in Nashville. I wanted to learn about standup performance, but my second goal was to meet other newbies. This support group will give you honest feedback and hold you accountable. I believe this is crucial. Thanks to Caitlin Price for joining me!

Arrive early and plan to stay late. I arrived just as the doors opened at 7:30 to be sure to add my name to the list. I was the tenth name, and the sets were four minutes. In theory, I should have been on stage at 8:10, but I didn't get selected until - 10:00. The host was choosing people he knew first, but I understand why this is if the host is considering the audience. He needs to be sure the audience is having a good time and won't leave.

Prepare, prepare, prepare. I wrote my script on paper. Then I transcribed it on my computer. I printed that script to rehearse and added the main bullets on a notecard (large enough to refer to on stage without my readers. I’m fifty now, and I need readers - you will too.) I then paced across my living room floor back and forth with a timer reciting the performance. Over and over and over. My goal is not to bring the card on stage with me. It’s best to have more than enough content because, on stage, your nerves make you go faster than planned.

Study the art. I watch stand-up specials on Netflix and YouTube all of the time. I listen to brilliant podcasts like Good One, where the host Jessie Fox dissects hilarious comedy with the actual comedian. I also recommend storytelling podcasts like The Moth and This American Life. See live comedy! Note what you like and dislike from other comedians when you are in the audience. Be there to support these brave people!

Respect the house and the host. When the host flashes a light or gives you a wave, it’s time to wrap it up. As a speaker, I’m anal about time because I want to respect the next speaker, the audience, and the meeting planners. You can throw the whole schedule off if you go over your time speaking at a conference. You also want to respect the club for providing a space to perform. Order drinks and generously tip your server. 

Record your set. As cringe-worthy as it is, it’s essential to review your performance. Count the laughs (I got nineteen in four minutes for my first time, I included chuckles.) Note where you can improve—test new bits. You can buy a little tripod for your phone or ask your friend to record it for you. The recordings will reveal how much you’ve improved over time.  

Keep smiling. It’s easy to feel deflated when you’re picked last (or third from last.) It felt like my attempts to play sports in grade school. Since it was an open mic night, many talented comedians were testing new material, while others were amateurs attempting stand-up for the first time (like me). Regardless, smile and stay positive, and do your best up there. 

If at first, you don't succeed, try try, try again. This was on a fridge magnet at my mum's house when I was a kid. It was solid advice. I love this quote by Norm MacDonald about bombing, "Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny."

Want to hear more about my adventures with standup? Follow the journey here.

If you're looking for more advice on performance, writing, and comedy, check out this blog post. 

What’s your experience with stand-up comedy? Have you performed before? Would you like to try? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

How to stop employee turnover at tech companies

in

The findings of The Achievers Workforce Institute’s February 2021 survey are sobering. Fifty-two percent of fully-employed employees said they intend to look for a new job this year, up from 35% in 2020. These numbers are especially concerning for the software technology industry who, according to LinkedIn’s most recent study found the industry has the highest turnover rate of 13.2% rate. This figure can be as high as 21.7% for embedded software engineers.

I worked for two fast-growing technology companies and experienced the negative side of growth first-hand. One day, as I was getting a cup of coffee, I noticed a new face preparing her own cup. Her affixed ID badge indicated she too worked there, so I concluded she had just joined our team.

“Hi, I’m Dave, I work in marketing. You must be new.” I smiled and welcomed our new addition.

With a half-hearted chuckle, she replied, “I’ve been working here for four months.” I could tell this was probably not the first belated welcome conversation she experienced in our quick-growing firm. I never saw her again, which left me to conclude she moved on to a different, more welcoming, nicer company.

Success can be a painful journey for your team members. Companies lose their heart as communication and cohesiveness faulters through rapid growth. Your longest and most loyal employees begin to abandon ship because they feel excluded or no longer heard.

A study by The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) reported that on average it costs a company 6 to 9 months of an employee's salary to replace him or her. For an employee making $60,000 per year, that comes out to $30,000 - $45,000 in recruiting and training costs.

I want to give leaders a look behind the scenes at what goes wrong, and how to fix it. The fact that it takes an average of 51 days to fill an IT role in the US, you simply can’t afford to ignore the turnover. While compensation matters, it isn’t the top factor when it comes to retention. Work-life balance and recognition both rate higher than compensation for retaining top talent.

The Nice Method includes three pillars to leaving you with happier and more connected employees, they are Hear Your Team, Avoid The Wrecks, and Life Outside Your Walls.

When you hear your team members actively listening, you avoid the wrecks that cause churn. When you take the time to bring your people together and you consider life outside your walls, you humanize your team which makes them happier and more connected. Happier teams have longer tenures, so you can stop wasting money on recruiting and training.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics found 4 million people quit their jobs in April 2021 — the biggest spike on record. The Nice Method will help you avoid being a part of similar future statistics.

If you’re a fast-growing tech company and you’re experiencing challenges with employee retention you are probably getting one of the Nice Method three pillars wrong.

Step 1. Hear Your Team 👈

Step 2. Avoid the Wrecks

Step 3. Life Outside Your Walls