Try Love

Photo from Unsplash by Cerys Lowe.

I wrote something on Facebook the other day in a moment of anger. I won't bore you with the details but it included an F-bomb. The gist was I was denouncing racists, specifically white ones. They seem to cause the most damage in the world, as I am certain you will agree.

Unfortunately, some family members were among the first to see and comment on the post (I usually try to keep the mood casual and entertaining on social). The post wasn't intended for family. It was intended for the tiki-torch yielding, racists who continue to give people like me (also a white male and occasional tiki torch patron) a bad name. 

As an immigrant myself, I felt that I needed to say something because every white person should be speaking up and against the racism, sexism, homophobia that we continue to see these days. And yes, I know that social media isn't a place to win people over by arguing with trolls. But I feel that we could all do our best to balance out the vitriol with more kindness, empathy, and love. I know in my heart that there are far more good people than the not-so-good. Some people are even brave enough to win them over. 

So I thought I would clear my head on the blog today about this topic. I'll leave you with words by Martin Niemöller. He was a Protestant pastor who became an outspoken enemy of Adolf Hitler and spent the last seven years of Nazi rule in concentration camps. 

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Setting and Achieving Your Goals with Overlap

Imagine yourself in a car at night, driving down a long, barren road with flat empty fields along both sides. You have been driving for many hours, and you have no idea where you are headed, or if you will ever reach your destination. You don't know this because you never decided where you are going. You are just driving with no plan.

You might be enjoying the feeling you get from the freedom of the open road. However, eventually, you will begin to get frustrated and feel stressed by the uncertainty of not knowing where you are going.

Setting yourself personal and professional goals will help you set and reach your destination. If you have no goals you will eventually run out of gas along the side of that barren road.

Don't quit your day job.

I was reminded of the importance of goals as I read Sean McCabe's new book, Overlap: The Ultimate Guide to Turning Your Side Passion Into a Successful Business. McCabe is an entrepreneur who has had several successful businesses over his career. We met in-person at Jeff Goins' Tribe Conference recently and spoke more about his book. He wrote it to encourage readers to go after what they truly want to do professionally. He doesn't preach what others do about quitting your day job. Instead, he encourages you to carve out time to work on a side business that can bring you joy and reward you financially. This all begins and ends with the goals you set for yourself.

In Overlap, McCabe describes his own goal of writing the book and how he completed it in just one month. He describes his process of writing 80,000 words over two weeks. McCabe includes a clever strategy to help readers set and reach their goals.

A strategy to achieve your goals.

Begin by creating a long list of all of your life goals. McCabe recommends determining which of the goals on your list will have the biggest impact on your life if accomplished in one year. He then says to start a new list and write that one goal on the top of the page. Follow this with twenty bulleted items that will get you to accomplish that goal. Dedicate one day for each item and repeat this for twenty days. 

I would add that you might need some extra time on some of the items, but you will be surprised how little time it actually takes to complete them when you write them down. It also helps to reconsider watching YouTube and Netflix during this period because focus is key.

McCabe writes, "Successful people know what they want, and they invest every ounce of their energy in going after that one thing. You can achieve many great things in life, but you can achieve only one truly great thing at a time. If you try to pursue many goals at once, you will not succeed at any of them." He adds that you should visualize achieving your goal. He says to, see it, actualize it, and internalize the fact that it will happen. Never feel you have failed to reach your goal, just that you haven't achieved it yet.

Make an on-going list of what is effecting you positively and what's doing so negatively. Doing this will help you understand what is slowing you down from achieving your goal and what is helping.

Communicate your goals.

A key message in Overlap is to communicate your goal every day to everyone in your life. Make them associate you with the goal you plan to accomplish. It needs to be on their minds when they think of you. You can even add the people in your life to your list. Some will support you all the way, while others may try to talk you out of it or even speak negatively of your goal.

McCabe writes, "If the people in your life don't know what your goal is they can't help you achieve it." He goes on to remind his readers that we need to know the goals our friends have and do our best to support them as well. As I always say, networking is a two-way street.

Why not pull your imaginary car over right now? Fire up Google Maps or grab the old Rand McNally from the glove box. Choose your destination. You are far more likely to make your journey a success when you know where you want to arrive.

Leave a comment with your goal. Maybe we can help you get there.

Struggling with a Decision? Put on 'Six Thinking Hats'

Have you ever struggled with making a decision? Maybe you are stuck with a problem right now. I recently learned how six hats can help you overcome your challenges. I want to share this process with you here to test it for yourself. 

I learned about the Six Thinking Hats from Jim Kwik, a guest on the James Altucher podcast. Kwik is a widely recognized world expert in speed-reading, memory improvement, brain performance and accelerated learning. Kwik credited this methodology to Edward de Bono, the author of the book, "Six Thinking Hats."

In the interview, Kwik explained how to use de Bono's process to help you overcome your mental blocks and struggles with decision-making. I have been trying this myself and I am amazed with how well it works. 

The idea is, we often address challenges by thinking as ourselves and approaching them as we normally would. We don't approach the problems in different ways. Albert Einstein said, "We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." 

Problem Solving with Six Hats

Picture yourself with six hats. Think about your problem by putting on one of the six hats and taking notes on how you should address the issue. Each hat is a different color and each hat makes you think differently about the problem.

White Hat: Picture the white color of a lab coat. This is your scientific hat. Think of your problem through the lens of logic, data and facts. What information do you have that can't be denied?

Red Hat: Your red hat represents your heart. Look at the problem from emotions and consider how it makes you feel. What assumptions and feelings do you have?

Black Hat: Imagine a judge in his or her black robe. The black hat makes you judge the problem. Why may your problem fail?

Yellow Hat: Yellow is positivity, like sunshine. Consider the optimistic point of view to your problem. It presents benefits and values. It is the opposite of your black hat. What happens if your problem is solved? 

Green Hat: Your green hat is for out-of-the-box thinking. What is a creative solution you haven't considered? Think of new ideas and solutions. 

Blue Hat: Your blue hat is the blue-sky approach. This hat listens to all of the aforementioned hats and delivers your solution. It helps you discover the decision to your problem.

I have started addressing my challenges by following the Six Thinking Hat process. I use my whiteboard in my office and six colored markers to sketch out my answers. Doing so has brought me great clarity and much faster decisions to the problems I face in my business and life. 

Edward de Bonos famously asked, "If you never change your mind, why have one?" His approach to considering solutions to your problems in different ways is brilliant.

I highly recommend trying this process for yourself. I also recommend listening to Altucher's interview with Jim Kwik for clever brain hacks to help you improve your decision-making. 

Walking to School Again

When I was a kid, we used to walk to our grade school (middle school) every day, rain or shine, sleet or snow. I did the same walk each day for about five years or so.

That’s five years of walking past the same scary high schools, same convenience store, same homes, same trees, you get the idea.

A while back, I heard someone talking about virtually walking to school again using Google Street View. I gave it a try and was totally enthralled by the experience. It brought back such vivid memories of hiding behind a wall and throwing snowballs at cars, of buying candy at the convenience store (or panhandling out front), stopping in at an old apartment building to pick up a friend, a near death from a falling tree during a storm.

It also brought back great memories of my brother Mike and friends, Carrie, Pat, Maria, Richard, Spence, and others whose names are slipping my mind at the moment.

The virtual walk was strange because many of the buildings have changed now. I had no idea that a group of homes had been torn down to build condos. In fact, one of the high schools had become a condo too! Oh, Toronto, when will the condo fetish cease?

Still, the majority of buildings are where they were way back when. Even the old decrepit wall is still there. It's the one that we used to climb to sneak under the fence of the high school’s football field, or to roll down into massive banks of snow. 

The whole experience of virtually walking to school again was an amazing one (I'm a sucker for nostalgia). It took a few minutes and many clicks to get there, but not nearly as long as it did by foot, and it was a heck of a lot warmer this time too. 

Give this a try for yourself. Has your old neighborhood changed much?

The Fine Art of Haggling

The salesman rolled his eyes and nodded "yes" as I asked him for one final request before he closed the sale. I needed him to give me a lift home with my brand-new stereo. He was flabbergasted at this sixteen-year-old kid's audacity to make such a request (on top of the other ones). 

I was reminded of this tale of haggling as I read "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi. In it, he shared a cliche about how Indian men (including his father) always drive inexpensive cars and are masters of haggling their way to the best price. I can't comment on this cliche; the only Indian cliche I have is (like Newfoundlanders); they are always the nicest people. Honestly, I've never met an Indian person I didn't instantly like. 

Sethi cracked me up as he shared his embarrassment at his father's attempts to hammer down the price to the last penny. This made me laugh because I was reminded of how my dad taught me to haggle by witnessing many of his cringe-worthy encounters with salespeople.

Haggling Helps

Haggling is part of commerce with few exceptions. You always have to ask what the salesperson's best price is. Take it further if he or she won't budge on the price by adding, "Okay, I guess you don't have the power to negotiate." See what happens when you put their authority on the line.

When I was sixteen, I worked full-time, saving money for a sweet Sony stereo. My dream setup included a six-pack CD changing player, woofer, speakers, and double tape deck for making mixtapes. I finally had enough in the bank to make my purchase. 

It was a humid summer day in 1988 when I locked up my Redline RL-22 BMX bike at the post outside the stereo store. A young sales guy approached and asked me what I was looking for. He didn't expect to make a sale at first because of my combat boots, army pants, and Suicidal Tendencies t-shirt. I assured him I had the money and was dying to buy my dream stereo today. Somehow he was convinced that I was legitimate and not needing to be institutionalized.

The sale price was around $799. I was able to talk him down to $700. I revealed $700 cash, and his eyes grew larger as he envisioned his commission. As he was about to ring me up, he added that I would need to purchase $80 worth of cables sold separately. I told him I couldn't afford those and that he would have to include them. He pushed me to purchase them and I stood my ground (just like my dad taught me). The man spoke with his supervisor and returned soon after, agreeing to include the cables at no extra cost. 

I was annoyed that he tried to upsell me the cables to operate the stereo. I glanced over at a set of three blank tapes on the endcap and added them to the box. I said I would like the cassettes included in the purchase too. Miffed, he agreed to add them since he knew the store cost for the cassettes wasn't that much. 

He rang up the sale in his till and I counted seven hundred dollars cash. That's when I sprang my final request. The truth was, I never considered how I would get my bike home with so many heavy boxes. He smiled and shook his head as he agreed to give me and my bike a lift home.

Haggling may feel icky to some, but it is essential to get the best possible deal. Don't be afraid to ask for the best price or other things in your life. Ramit Sethi discusses a brilliant haggling technique with your monthly service providers who add annual fees to your bills. Your ask can lead you to a new job, client, relationship, discount from your credit card company, and even a new stereo. 

You can bet I got home and cranked my music to eleven to celebrate! 

I Was An 8-Year-Old Panhandler

Have you ever had an idea and decided to jump right in only to have it fail?

Most plans fail when we don't plan properly. Failure results in feelings of disappointment and embarrassment. On the lighter side, we learn from our failures and perhaps even gain some respect from our peers for trying. I first learned about the importance of planning in 1980. It was just a few days before Mother's Day. I had developed a plan to surprise my wonderful mother with several red roses. My dad didn't live with us, so it was up to me to figure out how I was going to get the flowers.

I remember noticing roses for sale at our local convenience store. I concluded that I would have to go to the store to buy her the flowers but I lacked one key thing - money. 

Spare some change?

My mum often took me downtown when I was a kid. There were always homeless people along Yonge Street south of Bloor Street. As we would stroll down the street, they would politely request a bit of money to get them food or drink. My mum would usually comply and hand them a dollar or the change she had in her purse. 

This must have been where I got the bright idea to ask strangers for money. With only a few days remaining before Mother's Day, I knew I had to hurry to get the roses on time. So I threw on my 1970s pull-over sweater and ventured down to Mt. Pleasant Road where my panhandling plan would unfold.

I was able to raise the money quickly as I surprised the passersby. A woman with a baby carriage handed me some coins. Two men waiting for the bus chipped in. Another woman agreed to give me some money if I promised to go home. Apparently, it wasn't safe to mooch money from strangers on the street.

I finally raised enough capital (startup talk, I couldn't resist) to purchase the flowers. I entered the store, grabbed a few red roses, and proudly laid the exact change on the counter. The smiling Korean woman nodded and smiled to me as she punched my purchase into the till. Success!

Failure

Several days passed and Mother's Day had arrived. My mum still reminds me of how sad I looked when I made the terrible discovery. Flowers need water to survive. The roses had wilted and died, hidden in the darkness of my bedroom closet without water. 

I felt such disappointment and embarrassment from my failure. I learned an invaluable lesson in botany, I haven't killed any roses since. I won the respect of my mother for executing such an audacious plan. I also got scolded and reminded to never panhandle again. Thankfully, I haven't had to.

Be audacious but do your research and have a solid plan. So much for my green thumb. It turns out I'm not a gardener either. 

Saying Goodbye to Max

It’s been a heavy few weeks. I admit, I have wept several times at the thought of Max. I glance in a corner of the room expecting him to be there, and he’s not. I wait to hear the clicking sounds of his toe nails as he darts across the hardwood hall to search for me, but silence instead. The kids have been upset too, they make it even harder to say goodbye to our dog. There are several lessons here about how and why we had to say goodbye to our dog, Max.

We rescued Max in August 2015 using the wonderful Southern Skies Labrador Rescue. Lina Stewart is incredibly dedicated to helping to rescue and rehome labs. I’d never owned my own dog before. My dad got his first dog when I was small, Teddy, a Siberian husky. When Teddy died he got another Siberian husky named Seko, who was sadly shot by a trigger-happy farmer when he got loose at our cottage. The last dog in my life was Finnegan, my dad’s border collie, who had more character than most people. He lived until a ripe old age. 

Max was our first dog. Heather grew up with a few dogs in her life, but Max was her first dog too. Every family deserves to have a dog. The long drive back from Huntsville, Alabama with Max happily drooling in the rear was priceless. It was so special because of my kid’s beaming smiles all along the journey home. Our excitement couldn’t be contained. 

Do the Right Thing

We decided to rescue a dog rather than get one from a store for obvious reasons. Friends like C.C. Chapman and Amber Naslund are big dog rescue proponents. The ASPCA estimates that 5-7 million animals enter shelters each year, while the American Humane Association puts the figure at approximately 8 million animals. The American Humane Association states that about 3.7 million animals are euthanized each year (Source). That’s reason enough to give a rescue dog a try.   

Heather and I had always wanted a large, kind of dumb, white, furry dog. Max fit the bill perfectly. He would sleep on our bed with us, fall asleep on the couch, be eager to go for long walks, and play with us. He was awesome, but we started having problems. When our kids were on the bed with us, Max would occasionally snap at them. Not good.

Max became aggressive and would growl and bark at anyone at our door or in our house, he wa especially aggressive towards other kids. We thought he was just being protective but we didn’t fully understand what was going on. 

Don’t Deny the Problems

The worst incident was when Heather was sitting on our couch with Max on her lap - all eighty pounds of him. Our niece was visiting and decided to approach the couch to pet Max. To our horror, he became vicious and leapt from Heather’s lap to attack. I sprang out of my chair and wrestled Max to the ground. I violently dragged him by his collar to his cage. It was a terrible incident that left us shaken and seeking help. Thankfully nobody was hurt. 

I contacted Lina to express my concern. She recommended we reach out to Todd Vehring who is otherwise known as The Doggy Lama. For a one time fee, Todd would come to our house to work with the dog and us. The fee included his return visits as needed. Todd was amazing right from the start. 

Find an Expert and Get Help

We learned that the majority of problems were with us and not Max. He’s an alpha-male dog and we were his bitches. Todd taught us some important lessons like never letting Max get on our furniture, so he would understand he is not our equal. Through more exercises, we taught Max that we were in charge - not him. We saw a different dog from this point. He was much more passive and mellow. Even taking him for walks was easier when we would remind Max to walk behind us and not in front. He was no longer the leader of the pack.

His aggression returned a few weeks later. We called Todd and he returned to work with us again at no cost. He concluded that a shock collar was a good solution to help teach him right from wrong. Also, in case he got aggressive again, we could crank up the remote and zap him. Max would instantly react when I used the remote at the “1” setting. I had to switch it to “2” a few times and he would yelp. I never used it passed “2”, God only knows what “7” (the maximum) must have felt like. I’m glad we didn’t find out.

Max had a best friend a couple of doors away, Griffin. The two of them would play together every day. I would let Max off his leash so they could run around. Max would always playfully bite Griffin’s cheeks and Griffin would wrap his long legs around Max’s head. I called our dog a Max Truck, when he would collided with Griffin. You could hear the thud. In fact, he once accidentally took me out too. He ran directly into my legs and I went tumbling to the pavement below. Not his fault... I should have been paying more attention. 

One day, a loan husky appeared, probably lost from someone’s home. Max became aggressive and would have attacked it had I not stopped him. The same thing happened with a neighbor walking his German Shepard. Sometimes neighborhood kids would appear to play in the yards and Max would snap or growl. Luckily, I could zap him and put him in his place. His unpredictability and aggressive behavior was a major problem that we had to come to terms with. 

Recently, our niece returned to the house. She was in the basement as I walked Max outside. When we entered the house and he saw her he became violent towards her. Had he not been on the leash he would have gone after her. 

Do the Right Thing (as much as it hurts)

Heather and I had a heart-to-heart conversation and concluded we had to part with Max. The kids are getting older now and their friends come to our house. What would happen if we weren’t home and they entered the house? What would happen if the shock collar didn’t fire like it was supposed to (which happened occasionally). What would happen if Max got off our deck and became loose in our neighborhood?

It was tough to tell the kids that we decided Max wasn’t a good fit for our family. It was very tough. Worse, we had to wait for about two months before Max finally found a new home. Max behaved well during his final weeks with us. The truth is he’s a good dog, he’s so loving, he loves scratches and to be pet, he loves to be played with, he loved to sit on my feet; under my desk as I worked. Saying good-bye was very difficult for all of us. 

I am happy to report that Max is now with a couple without kids. They are aware of his issue with them. They have a large fenced-in yard (we don’t). Plus, he has a playmate, another yellow Labrador. Todd was kind enough to take Max to meet his new adopted parents. He was very good with them, and he was gentle as he played with his new girlfriend (or is she his sister now?). 

Accept the Outcome

And so our quest to be a family with a dog has come to a close - for now. We will rescue another dog in the future, but will likely go for a puppy who we can train and love early. It was clear that Max had issues from his past we couldn't overcome. Please be clear, we still believe rescuing a dog is the best way to go. We have had several updates and hear Max is happy and doing well with his new family. 

We still talk about Max. We're still sad he had to go. But we are confident we made the right decision. 

I swear it was like he knew today would be our last one together. We ❤️you, Max. We're happy that he found a new family but sad to say good-bye.

A post shared by Dave Delaney (@davedelaney) on Apr 14, 2017 at 7:54pm PDT

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UPDATE: And then along came Peggy!

Be The Person You Needed When You Were Younger

Something cool happened yesterday. I was poking around Reddit, as I do, when I came across a post with this inspiring image. 

And so I shared it on Facebook asking who the man was in the photo. My smart friends chimed in and we were able to conclude it is Brad Montague from Montague Workshop (who created Kid President). Thank yous are due to Karen Ward and Jessica Ennis.

Thanks also to Rebecca Potter Bailey who noted that the quote was popular on Pinterest. And thanks to Adele McAlear who dug deeper to find the quote originates from Ayesha Siddiqi.

"Be the person you needed when you were younger."

But something else happened as a result of these few minutes on Facebook. The quote touched other people too. Chris Moody from Twitter mentioned he was going to hire Montague to speak. Kevin Tucker mentioned how much he loves the positivity that Brad is putting out there. And this...

In fact, it was Michael Dougherty who shared a video. And it was the video that left me feeling even more inspired and positive. So here it is. 

Thank you to my friends for sharing their smarts. Thank you to Ayesha Siddiqi for the powerful quote, and to Brad Montague for using it in his presentation and for putting this video together. 

Now I'm off to live my Space Jam... all from sharing a photo from Reddit on Facebook. You see, social networking can still be fun with friends and great content. 

Interested in exploring empathy? Check this out.

The Best In The World Doesn’t Matter...

... if you're a jerk.

I’ve been thinking a lot about greatness lately. The next greatest writer hasn’t been discovered yet. We haven’t heard about the next greatest musician. The greats get known by the people they surround themselves with. When you surround yourself with greatness the greatness spreads. 

There are greats out there who will never be known beyond their own small circle and bedroom walls. It’s kindness that leads you to success. It's kindness that spreads greatness.

People don’t want to work with jerks. While the jerks may find some success, their success will fade as their names get affixed to sentences like, “What ever happened to __________?” or “Oh ya, I remember _______________ who had that song. I heard he was a jerk.”

I don’t believe it’s because they run out of new songs or opportunities to perform. The well dries up because their name sours when heard within their industry - because they treated people poorly. Because they became a jerk. 

Think of your own life. The people who are good tend to stick around and become successful. You remember the jerks but you have little regard or care for them. It’s not right to hold grudges but we do. It’s better to forgive and move on from the jerks. Kill em with kindness, as they say.

And so the greats are typically the kind. They are the ones who reflect upon their careers and the people who raised them to where they are today. The greats are the mentors who are willing to help the newbies. The greats are the ones who share what they have learned. The greats treat everyone equally regardless of their status or job titles.

The best in the world may never be discovered because of the way they treat people. Their name can be tarnished within a community or an industry forever. We may never know the greatest writer, actor, chef, doctor...

I was reminded of this when working at a music festival recently. I spent a considerable amount of time with one of the organizers who confided in me about certain artists who would never be invited back. They explained how certain artists are no longer working because they are known within the industry as jerks.

Would you want to do business with a jerk? Would you hire a jerk? 

And if you are seeking greatness…it’s wise to remember this. Treat them with kindness because kindness spreads. You may not be the best in the world at what you do, but your phone will ring before the jerk's. 

Image credit: welzen.org

45 Things I've Learned in 45 Years

It's my 45th birthday tomorrow. I still can't believe I'm getting so close to 50. I've been reflecting on my life for the last couple of weeks. I slowly journaled these forty-five lessons that I have learned so far. I'm sure I'm forgetting some but here's what I came up with. I hope these help you too. 

45 Things I've Learned So Far...

1. Your family is first. I do everything to spend time with my kids and Heather. 
2. People need people. Find your tribe(s).
3. Unplug more often. Do Not Disturb and Airplane Mode are your friends.
4. Trust people. I’ve struggled with this in the past. Nice guys get burned too often, but it still pays to be nice. It's part of the reason I launched Networking For Nice People.
5. Invest in yourself. Buy that book, go watch a movie, see a concert… you need this.
6. Take walks. I miss living in a big city and walking everywhere. I still try to walk for thirty minutes each day. I love exploring new cities on foot too. 
7. Drink water and measure how much you’re drinking (or not drinking). I thought I was drinking much more than I was before buying a bottle that has the quantity written on it.
8. Travel. Life is too short not too. Traveling was the best decision I ever made.
9. Smile. Think about your resting face. If you walk around smiling you will find strangers smile back at you. 
10. Read more. I am still not where I want to be with reading but I’m working on it. 
11. What doesn’t get measured doesn’t improve. Set measurable goals. You won't know you're succeeding (or failing) without doing this.
12. Find something you’re passionate about and pursue it. This doesn’t mean quit your job. You can always follow passions on the side. 
13. Don't let failure get you down. The fact that you tried at all is key. You learn from your missteps and apply them moving forward to success.
14. Party hard before you have kids. If you party after having kids you're being a jerk. Stop it.
15. Be a good person. Look for ways to serve the people in your life.
16. Treat people the way you want to be treated. My mum taught me this.
17. Don’t fear asking. I interviewed over fifty successful people on my last podcast and found this to be common among them. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that will happen if the person says, no."
18. Transcribe what you learn. I've been doing this on this blog and in my journal. I find writing down key things I learn from books and podcasts helps me retain the information. 
19. Experiences over things. Heather and I have adopted this as our family motto. 
20. Share what you know. You know much more than you think. We often sell ourselves short. Nobody else has your combination of knowledge and experience. 
21. Believe in yourself but don’t get pig-headed about it. 
22. Keep track of the good people in your life and reach out. 
23. As we get older it gets more difficult to connect in-person. I have come to accept this.
23. Be the change you want to see. Armchair politics and internet protesting can only do so much. Pick up the phone and call your politicians. Show up and protest. 
24. Follow your heart not your friends. I followed my friends as they became successful and suddenly realized I neglected my heart (and my head).
25. Make art. You’re an artist. 
26. Crank it to 11. Seriously, I embarrass myself driving alone, but I must have the tunes cranked. It’s usually punk rock stuff. 
27. Schedule your annual physical around your birthday so you never forget. A friend died at 48 years old because he didn’t realize he had had a previous heart attack. You won’t know if you don’t go. 
28. Write a journal. Fill it up and start another one. I fall out of this habit too often but I start again.
29. Use a daily To Do list. Write it down on paper. Paper is key. You can keep it in front of you all day. Plus, you get the added bonus of physically scratching items off your list. Feels good.
30. Hire someone to do something. You can’t do it all. I am not a gardener.
31. Your friends won’t always have time for you. Life gets in the way.
32. It’s normal to get lonely, embrace it and be thankful for the people in your life.
33. Everything won’t always go swimmingly sometimes you will want to drown. Don’t sink too much, but float around down there for a bit and enjoy the view.
34. Find music that makes you happy. It’s usually the stuff from when you were younger. Classic rock and punk rock make me happy.
35. Admit defeat in a day. Start again tomorrow.
36. Think more about the future than the past. I’m way too nostalgic. By thinking about the future I have found myself getting much closer to achieving my goals.
37. Note how a person treats a server.
38. Take many photos. You will be glad you did later. I love flipping through my Instagram feed.
39. Don’t give everything away or you won’t eat. 
40. Decaf in the afternoon. 
41. Keep a two drink maximum or don’t drink at all. Easier said than done, trust me, I know.  
42. Take a Myers Briggs personality self-assessment. Be honest with yourself and the results.
43. Try not to judge people. Consider why they could be behaving the way they are instead. What part of the story could you be missing? 
44. Eat fruits and veggies like it's going out of style. 
45. Stretch. I've neglected this far too much in my life. I have my chronic back pain to show for it. Stop and stretch more often. 

I hope you can use these and apply them to your own life.

I Am Not a Gardener

For the last three years the spot where my lawn used to be has featured a pile of dirt and weeds. The closest I got to receiving “Yard of the Month” was when the sign blew over to my yard from my neighbor’s lush garden. I figured it would be an act of God before I would ever win that thing.

Each year I have tried in vain to regrow my lawn. I have purchased seed, soil, a manual push aerator, a mechanical aerator (which was really embarrassing to try to operate). 

After seeding my lawn, I would spend mornings dodging my poorly positioned sprinkler. I would drag it from spot to spot with the hose kinked, leaving me just enough time to hop out of its way before the water would angrily explode out of the end. Most of my attempts would leave me damp and sometimes downright soaked. 

Last fall, I decided to bite the bullet and hire a lawn service. Guess what happened… my lawn returned. I thought it was a lost cause but it was me who was the lost cause. I had to accept that I am not a gardener. 

“I AM NOT A GARDENER.”

This morning, I stood in the middle of my yard in awe at my success (albeit hired success). The cool, fresh grass shot up between my toes. I proudly stared around my gloriously green yard. It’s really rather magnificent. 

This dreadfully domestic moment helped me remember that I am not an expert in everything. As I approach my forty-fifth birthday, I now understand there are perfectly acceptable occasions to hire a professional. 

Back in January, I came to a similar realization when I hired a designer to create a logo, typeface and color palette for a project. It felt so good to see her handy-work and realize that I never could have produced something so good - no matter how much I watered and seeded it. 

It's funny how you learn a few things as you get older.

Networking For Nice People

Do you remember John Hughes’ movies from the 1980s and 1990s? The plot often included two best friends seeking love from impossible partners. SPOILER ALERT. The climax of the films often resulted in the two friends realizing it was each other who they loved all along. I love a happy ending too.

For the last year, I have bounced around a bunch of different topics to write about and explore. The subjects include: relationships, personal branding, entrepreneurship, social media, content marketing, creativity, and all of these things come back to one main passion - networking. You know I hate cheesy networking tactics and events. I believe in the true power of connection as a result of networking well - as nice people.

It has been three years since my book, New Business Networking, came out. I continue to speak and train people on how to become better networkers. We all need networking in our lives.

If you have a fledgling start-up and you need customers or investors… you need networking.
If you are a student (or parent of a student) trying to jumpstart your career… you need networking.
If you are a professional who is seeking a career change or reinvention… you need networking.
If you are between jobs after a layoff… you need networking.

INTRODUCING NETWORKING FOR NICE PEOPLE

One of my goals for 2017 is to build a brand new community around the topic of networking called Networking For Nice People. I have written a manifesto about what networking means to me. I invite you to come and take a look. You will also find a new email newsletter to send you one quick and valuable networking tip each Monday and Friday. Drop over now to check it out.

How to Become a Better Writer

Happy 2017. Are you ready to become a better writer?

In order to build and grow your personal brand you must create content online that people can discover. It is this content that will tell the reader more about you, your products and your services. We write articles, proposals, blog posts, emails, Facebook updates, tweets and more every day. We are all writers.

One of my resolutions is to become a better writer this year. I decided to re-read Ann Handley's wonderful book, "Everybody Writes: Your Go-To Guide to Creating Ridiculously Good Content." Whether you are a scribbler or a scribe, a poet or an editor, there is something in Handley's book for all.

The following are quotes from the book that will leave you inspired and ready to improve your own writing this year.

20 ways to become a better writer

1. Write with economy and style and honest empathy for your reader.
2. If you stripped your branding from all your properties and lined up your words alongside a competitor's, would you recognize yourself? Would you stand out?
3. Whenever possible, specify geranium instead of flower.
4. Utility x Inspiration x Empathy = Quality Content.
5. Writing is a habit, not an art. Set aside time each day when you're freshest.
6. Put the needs of your audience first.
7. Every bit of content you create should be to please the customer or prospect — not your boss or client.
8. Start with empathy. Continue with utility. Improve with analytics. Optimize with love.
9. The first words of every sentence should make a friendly first impression to encourage the reader to keep going.
10. The primary idea — the important words — should be placed at the beginning.
11.  Anything you write should always be aligned with a larger (business or marketing) goal — even an individual blog post.
12. Reframe the idea to relate it to your readers.
13. The more personal you are, the more universal you become.
14. Write to one person.
15. If you get stuck, think about what's sticking. Do you need more research? More examples? Another point?
16. Good writing serves the reader, not the writer. It isn't self-indulgent. Good writing anticipates the questions that readers might have as they're reading a piece, and it answers them.
17. Empathy for the customer experience should be at the root of all of your content.
18. Start by getting to know your customers.
19. No one will ever complain that you've made things too simple to understand.
20. Don't tell me who you are — tell me why you matter to me.

Writing is a wonderful way to share what you know with important people around you. Become a better writer this year by reading Ann Handley's "Everybody Writes." I have already picked up a few new tips to use for my writing; I know you will, too.

And now I am off to the store to pick up some geraniums for my wife.

This article originally appeared in The Tennessean Newspaper.

OMG, I'm in an Improv Troupe!

My mother was an actress in London back in the 1960s. In 1967, one-hundred years after Canada got it's independence from Britain, the British returned in the form of my mum. She met my dad that summer, decided to permanently move to Toronto, got married, and had two ginormous babies. Needless to say, she shelved her acting career. 

After retirement, my mum chose to get back into acting. She joined a retired actors group, and she has been performing in plays and musicals ever since. My eighty-year-old mother is a big reason why I started performing improv again. 

My history with improv began with training at Second City in Toronto. After graduation, I moved to Ireland, where I started an improv troupe. Together we performed weekly shows that I always looked forward to. When I moved back to Toronto, I tried to get another troupe together but my attempts failed. So I gave up on improv altogether. 

My Passion for Performance

One of my biggest pleasures is to speak at conferences and events. I love sharing stories with actionable advice that help people move forward in their businesses and careers. I also love to entertain. 

Last year, I was invited to do a presentation at Hubspot's Inbound, which is a marketing conference in Boston. I felt like I would be preaching to the converted if my presentation was yet another one about marketing. So, I decided to do my talk about the lessons I have learned from studying and performing improvisation. My presentation, Improve with Improv, also inspired my mini ebook of the same name.

I have always had a deep love for reading, writing, watching, and performing comedy. Last summer, I read Judd Apatow's Sick In The Head, which features his inspiring interviews with many of the most famous comedians out there. The guest's stories in his book made me crave improv.

As I was online, I noticed an open audition announcement from Nashville Improv. On a whim, I decided to go and give it a shot. I didn't tell Heather or any of my friends that I was doing it. Next thing I knew, I had a callback to return for a second audition. As it turned out, I was accepted as a cast member in the company. 

OMG, I'm in an improv troupe again!

Each Monday night, I get to enjoy rehearsing improv with an impressive cast of actors and comedians. The company directors, Lacie Madison and Michael Kearney, are not only incredibly gifted people, but they are clearly passionate about improv and Nashville's thriving comedy community. So far, we have performed live together twice and tonight, I get to do it again (at Zanies at 8 pm, you should come).

Your turn. Now start.

I got back into improv for a few main reasons.

• I wanted to tap into another creative medium.
• I needed to get outside of my comfort zone.
• With a dad with dementia, I understand the importance of strengthening my brain.
• I understand that life is too short not to enjoy what makes us happy. 

What passions have you shelved for whatever reason? Take a moment now and jot them down on a piece of paper. Review what you wrote. Which of these passions would be okay to tap back into? Don't do it as a business move, do it as a gift to yourself. Now jot down a few steps it will take for you to get started. Now start.

Bull Semen in Red Bull???

Several months ago, I was enjoying dinner with a group of people. One of the guests ordered a vodka and Red Bull. A woman gasped as he began to sip his concoction. He stared at her curiously and asked if she had ever tasted the beverage. She explained she would never drink the stuff because of something she read on the internet. 

"Red Bull is made with bull semen."

The group of us laughed, and the woman became flushed. She insisted it was probably true because she saw it online. Her friend had sent her a link to the story. I politely introduced her to a website everyone needs to know about called Snopes.com.

Snopes is the definitive internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation. If you ever come across a story that seems too wild to be true, check Snopes. Check the story, especially before you share it.

I should add that Snopes is entirely independent and self-supporting; they receive no funding from any person, group, agency, or organization. 

Is Obama a liar? Is Trump a fake?

Want to know how that politician is performing? Would you like to see if that political rumor is true or not? Check Politifact.com before spreading the story.

PolitiFact is a fact-checking website that rates the accuracy of claims by elected officials and others who speak up in American politics. When you hear something on talk radio, TV, online, or at the watercooler, it's best to check its accuracy here first. 

Understand online and traditional media outlets are businesses. Sensationalist headlines always draw our attention. The more clicks, eyeballs, and eardrums they receive, the more money they earn from advertisers. 

Most sites and media outlets have biases and may even lean to one political side over another. It's no secret that Fox leans Republican, and MSNBC leans Democrat. It's up to you to recognize this before you amplify the "news" with your friends on Facebook.

When you share fake news you are part of the problem.

Don't be a red-faced, bull semen-sipping believer. Be responsible by checking the facts and source first. Spreading fake news and misinformation can not only make you look foolish, but it can also be downright dangerous. Less informed, more gullible people can act on rumors in horrible ways. 

I've included the latest stories and rumors below from Politifact and Snopes. Click through to learn more and to be informed. 

The Latest from Snopes and Politifact

Can't see the latest above? Click over to Snopes or Politifact directly.

The Red Bull bull semen rumor is totally fake, but the headline made you click to read this post, right? That's how they get us. ;)

Start, Start, and Start Again

I've written here before about the importance of transcribing the wisdom you consume. This is one of those blog posts. Chris Brogan is a prolific writer and thinker. His podcast, The Owner's Mind, is a mix of interviews and smart rambles. I love both formats. 

Chris recently released an episode where he spent time riffing on failure and success. He dropped so many pearls of wisdom that I had to keep stopping my walk with Max to take notes. Here's what I learned.

"Your excuses will never be as interesting as the story of how you got things done." 

One of the keys to success in business and in life is to start, start, and start again. When we start new projects we learn from the experiences. That knowledge brings us closer to success, so we must move forward and stop making excuses why we don't. As Chris said, "Your excuses will never be as interesting as the story of how you got things done." I love that!

Your persistence and promises will lead you to success. You need to focus on the promises that you make to yourself and to others. Have the strength to keep starting, but don't confuse being busy with progress. 

If you want to succeed you have to have successes. Starting can be fun, but we often don't love the follow through. If you are always starting something you are never finishing. The key is to make smaller goals and simpler wins. Feel that success and keeping pushing forward. 

Be sure to subscribe to Chris' killer email newsletter for more of his wisdom. 

What small wins can you achieve today? I just wrote a blog post. How about you?

Fresh Ideas For Giving Thanks

We can easily forget what Thanksgiving is all about as we stuff ourselves with turkey, aggressively shop for deals, and argue politics with our family. Luckily, the keyword is right there in the name of the holiday to remind us what it's about - thanks.

We should be thankful all year, but we get distracted by our business, family, and Netflix. If we take the time each day of the year to be thankful, we will all be more kind and reflective. I feel like this is needed now more than ever.

As we ease to and away from Thanksgiving 2016 here are some fresh ideas on how to be thankful.

Be smart with your smartphone: Set a daily reminder asking, "What am I thankful for?" Stop your day to ask and answer this question to yourself during a quite moment. It will only take a minute and can quickly become a positive daily habit.

Journal it. Use a small notebook to jot down what you are thankful for each morning or before bed. This will become a valuable resource to turn to when you have a crummy day. Flip through it and realize you live a charmed life.

Walk and talk. Get outside and clear your head. I use the voice memo app on my iPhone to record why I am thankful. Don't worry the passersby will think you are speaking on your phone. Nobody will know you are secretly talking to yourself. It will be our little secret.

Say Thank You. Review your recent emails, voice messages, social media interactions and instant messages. There are people deserving of your thanks. Pick up the phone and tell them why you are thankful, or write them a personal note and mail it. There is magic in the tangible interactions.

The Cheater's Guide to Saying Thank You

I enjoyed watching Carly Slater's Ignite Seattle presentation, "The Cheater's Guide to Saying Thank You". In it, she suggests that instead of being thankful to someone, we should be thankful for them. This helps us realize exactly why we are grateful. It's great advice.

Take it a step further and acknowledge someone for something they care about. In her presentation, Slater says you can find what someone cares about by noting difficult or rare things they often do. Tell them you have noticed and why you are thankful for it. Take a moment now to consider the people in your network and what they care about.  

Don't let Thanksgiving be the only time you are giving thanks. Happy Thanksgiving (and belated to my Canadian friends). 

This article originally appeared in The Tennessean Newspaper.

RIP Bob Goyetche | A Podcasting Legend Has Left Us

I awoke to my phone buzzing this morning. My Facebook Messenger app was blowing up with activity. I hit the home button and was horrified by the news. Bob Goyetche had died. The voices in the private message group were from many people I hadn't heard from in ages. In fact, I hadn't talked to Bob in years outside of a few likes, tweets, and comments.

Bob Goyetche is a podcasting legend. Along with Mark Blevis, Bob co-hosted The Canadian Podcast Buffet. The show inspired hundreds of people to start their own podcasts. The podcast community they created taught me how to podcast, too. But it was much more than that.

Bob was a hugger

In 2006, Bob and Mark and their respective partners, Cat and Andrea, started an annual conference called Podcasters Across Borders (later "PAB"). I attended the conference in 2006 and 2007 and was instantly welcomed into the group. That was my first taste of meeting online friends offline and in person. Relationships truly grow when this occurs. There is nothing like handshakes, high-fives, and hugs. Bob was a hugger. 

Bob was a kind, generous, intelligent, sweet, hilarious guy. He was a podcasting mentor and a genuinely wonderful person. Not only does he leave behind countless friends, but he also leaves his family, Cat and Simon. My heart breaks for them both. 

Between the many messages in the Facebook group today, I listened to some of Bob's old podcast episodes. I was struck by the most recent episode of his solo ramble-cast, Bob Stuph. The lesson is timely but is also timeless. 

Consider Vulnerability

“Anger is not strength. Anger is a weakness. Vulnerability is strength.

We are often taught not to show weakness or any uncertainty. If you disagree, you do it vehemently and you protect your turf. This thinking builds walls.

You can change a conversation or a conflict by showing vulnerability. If both people agree to be vulnerable, the differing opinions can be put to a side and a connection can still be made. 

Showing vulnerability is difficult but will lead to amazing changes in your life. Consider vulnerability.” 

Today serves as a good reminder to reach out to those who have touched your life. Time goes too quickly. Bob left us too soon. 

R.I.P. Bob.

Why Waiting is Wrong | Since I Suppose

I just enjoyed a remarkable theatrical experience from Oz Nashville. Since I Suppose is an immersive journey through Nashville, with sound, film, interactions and text from Shakespeare's Measure For Measure. You should check out Amy Stumpfl's excellent recap from her article in The Tennessean. Audience members set out on their adventures using a mobile device and headphones. They are sworn to secrecy to ensure they don't spoil the experience for others, so I have to be careful not to spill any beans here. 

What was especially wonderful was the fact that I got to spend time in nooks and crannies around the city. I was fascinated by the way the interactive performance flowed from location to location. A dark and mysterious soundtrack played in my ears, as I watched the videos on the device. I had to follow the character on the display and listen to her dialogue as I merged through crowds of people on the streets. I was surprised and shocked by some of the locations I wound up in. It truly was a brilliantly immersive experience. 

Afterward, I asked Rus Snelling, Oz Nashville's production manager, a few questions. I was curious what would happen if a regular person on the street interfered with an audience member as they were meandering through back alleys. For example, I remember going on a ghost tour of Edinburgh. We traveled at night by foot through a spooky cemetery as drunken vagrants yelled at us to get out. Nervous audience members awkwardly chuckled, thinking (and hoping) they were part of the performance. Russ assured me that the company had undercover actors following along the whole time to ensure the audience is safe. In fact, the team also use private, direct messages via Twitter with a Tweetdeck dashboard to communicate with each other. 

So why is this blog post entitled, Why Waiting Is Wrong? Good question.

I chose the title because of the reaction I got from my friends when I shared how wonderful the experience was. Each person said they had been thinking about getting a ticket, but guess what, it was already too late. The entire show is sold out. My friends regretted missing their chance to buy a ticket because they waited too long. All theater performances have limited runs. Some shows are made to lasting longer, but if not enough tickets are sold, they eventually close. 

All good things must come to an end.

I had the wonderful fortune of being marketing manager for the Toronto production of the Broadway musical, HAIRSPRAY. The show had a successful run, but after nearly one year there were not enough bums in seats to keep the show alive. After it closed, I heard from many friends who said they were disappointed because they didn't get to see it. I was too. They waited too long and assumed the show would always be there. All good things must come to an end, but they didn't consider this.

If you are in Nashville (or plan to visit), take a look at the other amazing performances planned by OZ Nashville. Stop waiting and buy a ticket now, before you miss another opportunity for an experience of a lifetime.

This is why waiting is wrong. 

Do Your Own Thing

My creative struggle is caused by an abundance of consumption. I have written here before about procrastination through education. I feel like I often get stuck by consuming too much and not creating enough.

It's time to do your own thing.

Today, as I walked Max, I listened to Mitch Joel's Six Pixels of Separation podcast. I have been a fan of Mitch since the early days of podcasting, he's a smart cookie and great guy. In episode 531 of his podcast, Mitch interviewed Srinivas Rao from the Unmistakable Creative podcast. They had a brilliant conversation that got me thinking about how we all consume too much without enough action. You can listen to the show below. 

It is wonderful to listen to podcasts and read blog posts, articles, and books, but we must fit in time to create. That's where we drop the ball so often. I do this too!

I remember trying to quit smoking so many times (I eventually did). The lie would always be that I will quit after this pack. The same can be said for the content we consume compared with what we fail to create. I'll write the blog post after reading this book. I'll produce the podcast after I listen to these episodes. I'll create the presentation after I watch a few more. 

We deny the world what we are capable of.

Mitch and Srinivas also spoke about hero worship. They talked about how our own intuition and instincts are denied because we want to be so much like someone else we admire. In being this way we deny the world what we are capable of doing and contributing. Srinivas said that if you listen to a certain set of podcasts, you will hear the same guests saying the same things on every single show. We need to break this echo chamber.

Go out and create something only you can create. Stop following step by step directions and best practices because this absolves you of risk. Take some risk. Be inspired by people you admire and what they create, but take the time to DO YOUR OWN THING. Release your ideas to the world. 

I'm working on something new too, it involves improv. I'll share more about that here soon.

What are you going to create? Leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you.