I came across the term “humble inquiry” in an article about popular leadership books. This phrase stood out to me to perfectly summarize the best way we can meet new people and lead teams. Ultimately, we can learn to be nice communicators.

The term was coined by Edgar Schein, who authored a book with the same title, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Schein specialized in organizational development, career development, group process consultation, and organizational culture. His definition of Humble Inquiry perfectly captures my thoughts on the topics of asking and listening.

Humble Inquiry is “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”

Schein writes, “Ultimately the purpose of Humble Inquiry is to build relationships that lead to trust which, in turn, leads to better communication and collaboration.”

The next time you are in a position to ask questions of your colleagues, prospects, and clients, consider these wise words.

“Don’t we all know how to ask questions? Of course, we think we know how to ask, but we fail to notice how often even our questions are just another form of telling—rhetorical or just testing whether what we think is right. We are biased toward telling instead of asking because we live in a pragmatic, problem-solving culture in which knowing things and telling others what we know is valued.”

Ask questions you don’t know the answers to. Be genuinely curious about who you speak with.

Don’t miss this YouTube video of Edgar Schein discussing “Humble Inquiry”. This is the basis of building any type of relationship.

Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash.