In Defense of Nice

August 20, 2020 by Dave in nice, life

A while back, I sent a survey to my email newsletter subscribers. The Nice Makers were kind enough to provide me with feedback to help me shape future editions. One comment I received asked me to share my thoughts on “nice”.

As you know, the newsletter is The Nice Maker. I am the chief connector at Networking For Nice People, this blog is called The ROI of Nice. I’m obsessed with using nice as a way to improve how we communicate with one another.

Pleasant; agreeable; friendly

Look up the definition of nice and you will find words like pleasant; agreeable; friendly.

I write and think a lot about empathy and kindness. I believe this is at the core of effective communication. I consider myself a humanist. Humans are far from perfect, but we learn and pivot from the lessons in life that help us grow wiser together.

I believe in standing up for our rights. I believe in truth and justice (and justice reform). I believe that rather than striving to be angelic followers we should aim to be nice. Nice isn’t perfect. We aren’t always kind and we aren’t always empathetic, but I believe we become nicer when we strive to practice kindness and empathy.

Pleasant

We can be pleasant by simply smiling more. Smiling really is contagious. Sensorimotor stimulation in our brains causes us to mimic what we see without realizing it. When we mimic someone else’s facial expression, we trigger that same emotional state in ourselves, which then allows us to formulate an appropriate social response like returning a smile we receive.

Believe it or not, people can read your smiles even when they are hidden beneath masks. As a photographer, Laura Fuchs who shoots New Yorkers smiling behind their masks says, “I can see your smiles. It’s all in your eyes and cheekbones”.

Agreeable

Being agreeable is the essence of being nice. This is the practice of saying, “Nice, and…” when someone suggests something to you. This practice is always better than rejecting someone with a “Nice, but…”.

Try it next time someone suggests something to you. Spend a full day responding with “Nice, and…” in your reply. More details on this here.

Friendly

Approach the people in your life with an empathetic mind and a “nice, and” attitude. We express friendliness by doing so. My goal is to always make people feel comfortable whether they are in a workshop I’m leading, a meeting, or a casual encounter. The key to coming across this way is to actively listen to the people you meet.

Standing up is also nice

Using courage and facing fears are also traits of being nice - nice to yourself. Standing up for those who need it is nice. Being the person you needed when you were younger is nice. Nice isn’t complacent. Nice isn’t cowardness. Nice is respecting yourself and the good people in your life.

I’m pushing for a nicer world and this begins with me and you. Are you in?

Random Acts of Kindness for the Office

February 11, 2020 by Dave Delaney in business & career, nice

Random Acts of Kindness Week comes each February. For much of the world, February weather sucks. Just looking out of the window as I write this is a reminder. It’s been gray and raining endlessly in Nashville over the past few days. Perhaps this is why Random Acts of Kindness was created during this dreary month. Let’s brighten it up, shall we?

The following is a list of twenty-five ideas you can use at work to be nice to your colleagues and to yourself. I encourage you to print this list and pin it above your desk or stick it on the wall in your kitchen to share the ideas. Even though you are encouraged to deliver random acts of kindness during the official week, there is nothing stopping you from doing so during the fifty-one other weeks of the year.

Kindness releases feel-good hormones

As Maile Proctor writes, “kindness releases feel-good hormones. Have you ever noticed that when you do something nice for someone else, it makes you feel better too? This isn’t just something that happens randomly—it has to do with the pleasure centers in your brain.”

She continues, “Doing nice things for others boosts your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of satisfaction and well-being. Like exercise, altruism also releases endorphins, a phenomenon known as a “helper’s high.”

25 Tips for Being Nice at Work

Buy a coffee, grab creamers and sugar, and deliver them to the first person you see at work. This could be a custodian, receptionist, security person, colleague, stranger.
Hold the door open for someone.
Give someone a compliment for the good work they do. Or the cool shoes they are wearing.
Smile.
Take a private bathroom break to practice a short meditation. I’m a fan of Sam Harris’s Waking Up app.
Send a positive text, Slack, or instant message to a colleague.
As companies grow it is common not to recognize everybody. Talk to a colleague you don’t know. Invite them with you for lunch.
Hold the elevator door open for someone. Say hello to your fellow passenger.
Tape two dollars to the vending machine.
Tidy the kitchen. Clean out the microwave. Empty the fridge.
Be a hero. Make a pot of coffee.
Surprise your team by bringing donuts or baking something special.
Write a LinkedIn recommendation. Connect your LinkedIn connections.
Choose to forgive and accept people for who they are.
Write a list of what you are thankful for.
Leave a huge tip for a barista or a server.
Pay the toll or bus fare for the person behind you.
Put your phone away when you are around other people.
Write a complimentary LinkedIn post about a colleague and tag them.
Work without headphones. Raise your head from your computer and smile at each person who walks by. Consider your resting face.
Compliment a colleague to your manager. Write them an email about how awesome the person is.
Interject a kind comment when people are gossiping.
Give a colleague a copy of a book that impacted you.
Write a list of all the things you enjoy about your work.
Listen intently as someone is speaking to you. Use the L.I.S.T.E.N. acronym (VIDEO).

Your Turn…

Download this as a PDF to print and share with your colleagues to brighten up the day.

Photo by Sandrachile on Unsplash.

Save up to $300,000* by adding this item to your to-do list

January 17, 2020 by Dave in business & career, nice

I advocate for being nice to everyone you encounter each day. Yes, it sometimes takes a bit of empathy to return a smile and keep your patience intact.

Leaders of organizations can measure the result of being nice. The best way to do this is to recognize each team member frequently enough to make them feel proud of the work they do. A compliment goes a long way.

I recommend leaders add this item to their daily to-do lists.

Today I recognized ____________________________________

A quick pat on the back and compliment will make a person’s day. Happier staff feel more positive and are less likely to find a job elsewhere. As I mentioned, do this to be nice first and foremost. Then consider the cost of replacing an unhappy employee.

The ROI of Nice

How much does it cost to replace an unhappy team member?

Entry-level employees - 30-50% of their annual salary.

Mid-level employees - upwards of 150% of their annual salary.

High-level or highly specialized employees - 400% of their annual salary.

If you are a 150-person company with 11% annual turnover, and you spend $25,000 per-person on hiring, $10,000 each on turnover and development, and lose $50,000 of productivity opportunity cost on average when refilling a role, then your annual cost of turnover would be about $1.57 million. Reducing this by just 20%, for example, would immediately yield over $300,000 in value. And that says nothing of the emotional headache and cultural drain felt from losing great people*. - Source: https://blog.employerscouncil.org/2017/06/28/costs-of-turnover/

Do you want to improve how nice you are to yourself, your team, and your community? Recognize a team member each day of the week. I cover this and much more in The ROI of Nice presentation.

Photo by Lukas from Pexels.