How to create a blueprint for personal and professional achievement using Success Frames.

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Listeners to my podcast, ADHD Wise Squirrels, will already be familiar with the executive coach and author, Rob Hatch.

I loved his latest book, Success Frames: Why learning from success is the key to understanding what motivates and inspires us.

In "Success Frames," Hatch delves into the intricacies of building a framework for success by learning from both achievements and failures. The book highlights the importance of reflecting on one's experiences, emphasizing that true learning stems from analyzing both triumphs and mistakes.

Learning from Experience

Hatch underscores the value of reflection in the learning process, citing John Dewey's assertion that "adults don’t learn from doing. They learn by reflecting on what they have done." This reflection is crucial in understanding why things go right and how to replicate those successes. Hatch shares that while failures can illuminate gaps in knowledge or execution, they must be balanced with an understanding of what successful efforts look like.

Defining Success

Success is a subjective term, and Hatch emphasizes the importance of personalizing its definition. His research identified education, relationships, and character as the top three components of their success. Hatch encourages readers to define what success means to them, incorporating elements like financial freedom and personal growth into their definitions.

Building a Success Framework

A significant part of Hatch's approach involves creating frameworks based on successful experiences. These frameworks, which he calls "Success Frames," help individuals and organizations replicate positive outcomes. The beauty of these frameworks lies in their flexibility—they allow for customization based on the specific needs and goals of the people using them.

Hatch introduces various strategies to build these frameworks:

  • ActionStacks: These are step-by-step checklists that guide the completion of recurring tasks. By pre-defining the steps, ActionStacks help automate processes and reduce decision fatigue.

  • OODA Loop: This decision-making model involves observing, orienting, deciding, and acting. It’s a cyclical process that encourages continuous improvement and adaptation.

Leveraging Strengths

Hatch advocates for a strengths-based approach, echoing findings from Gallup that focusing on strengths significantly boosts engagement and performance. By leveraging what people do well, individuals and teams can achieve higher levels of success and satisfaction.

Practical Application

Throughout "Success Frames," Hatch provides practical advice on implementing these principles. He discusses the importance of planning ahead, reducing reliance on willpower, and creating environments conducive to success. For instance, Hatch recommends scheduling specific "success blocks" of time dedicated to critical projects, free from interruptions.

Learning from Others

Hatch also highlights the value of learning from others' successes. By identifying and connecting with individuals who have achieved what one aspires to, people can gain valuable insights and guidance. This network of successful individuals can provide support, advice, and inspiration.

Emotional and Mental Well-being

Understanding and managing emotions is another critical aspect of Hatch's framework. He points out that focusing on what’s going well can help counterbalance the natural tendency to dwell on problems. This positive focus can enhance resilience and motivation, making it easier to overcome challenges. Hatch shares his own experiences with his late diagnosis of ADHD and how considering his coping mechanisms can be impactful.

You can listen to my full interview with Hatch by clicking the play button below or visiting Wise Squirrels.

Rob Hatch's "Success Frames" offers a comprehensive guide to achieving personal and professional success. By reflecting on experiences, defining success on one's own terms, building adaptable frameworks, leveraging strengths, and learning from others, readers can create robust paths to their goals. The book serves as both a practical manual and an inspirational resource, encouraging individuals to take control of their success journeys and that’s exactly what I plan to do after reading it!

The Nice Maker Evolution

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ADHD is pretty interesting; an idea pops into my head that gets me excited, and I spend the day working on that project. Hyperfocus FTW!

However, I don’t always plan well or think strategically. Even strategically, it sounds like scheming in some greedy capitalist way. Rest assured, it’s not in this case, but I will happily earn as much money as possible. It’s kind of important with college tuition (times two) and retirement and such.

As you read in my previous post, I have rebooted the Nice Maker to focus on hosting special events where we can meet up in person once again. However, the Nice Maker has always been much more.

And so, without dwelling on the topic here. I invite you to sign up below to get the full picture of where I intend to take the Nice Maker, and I invite you to join in because it will be awesome.

How to know, respect, and connect yourself.

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In a world that often prioritizes speed, productivity, and conformity, it's easy to feel disconnected from our true selves. We often rush through life, barely pausing to reflect on who we are, what we value, and what brings us joy. This reality impacts everyone, regardless of their operating system. The Root Down process will help us better understand ourselves, respect our unique qualities, and forge deeper connections with others.

Understanding the Root Down Process

The Root Down process is a concept inspired by the experiences of individuals with ADHD, who often struggle to fit into a neurotypical world. My method encourages self-discovery, self-respect, and improved connections with others.

Here’s how it works.

Know Yourself - Understanding oneself is the foundation of personal growth and well-being. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values clarifies decision-making and helps you navigate life more effectively. For individuals with ADHD, this self-awareness is often heightened due to the daily challenges we face. However, anyone can benefit from taking time to explore their inner landscape.

When you know yourself, you can make choices that align with your true nature. This reduces inner conflict, boosts self-confidence, and increases overall life satisfaction.

Respect Yourself - Self-respect is the cornerstone of mental and emotional health. It means accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all. The ADHD community often faces stigmatization and misunderstanding, making self-acceptance challenging. Nonetheless, it's a vital step in the Root Down process.

Respecting yourself fosters self-esteem, resilience, and a sense of empowerment. It allows you to set healthy boundaries, say no when necessary, and prioritize your well-being.

Connecting Yourself - Humans are inherently social beings. Building meaningful connections with others is essential for emotional health and personal growth. However, these connections must be based on authenticity, not masks. We must seek out like-minded individuals who understand our unique challenges.

Authentic connections provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and enrich your life with diverse perspectives and experiences.

The Root Down will transform your workplace team or conference audience. Learn more and say hello here.

How to define your values

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How do I find my values?

Let's talk about something important today - defining our values. I firmly believe that understanding our values is the key to living a fulfilling life and becoming effective leaders.

Now, I know that defining your values can be tough. It's not always easy to put into words what really matters to you. But don't worry; I've got some prompts to help you out.

First off, ask yourself: what really lights me up? What brings me joy and fulfillment in life? Is it spending time with loved ones, pursuing your passions, or making a difference in the world? Think about what motivates you and drives you to take action.

Next, consider your non-negotiables. What are the things that you absolutely refuse to compromise on, no matter what? Maybe it's integrity, honesty, or authenticity. These values are the foundation of who you are and what you stand for.

It's also important to think about your legacy. What do you want to be remembered for? What impact do you want to have on the world? This can help you uncover values related to leadership, social justice, or environmentalism. Consider your legacy.

“Personal value is the kind of value we receive from being active instead of passive, creative instead of consumptive. ”
— Clay Shirky.

And finally, reflect on the people you admire. What qualities do they possess that you aspire to? Is it kindness, generosity, or courage? These values can give you insight into what matters most to you.

I know this process isn't easy. But remember, defining your values is an ongoing journey. Your values may shift and change over time, and that's okay. The important thing is to stay true to what matters most to you and to live in alignment with your values every day.

I believe that your true personal value comes from the impact you have on others and the world, not from what you have or achieve. Defining your personal values is an essential step towards building a fulfilling life and achieving personal growth.

Friendship and Loneliness: Exploring the Social Coin

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As social beings, we all crave human connection and interaction. We thrive on forming relationships and building bonds with others. However, sometimes we find ourselves on the opposite end of the spectrum, feeling lonely and disconnected from those around us. Even surrounded by people who love us, loneliness can rear its ugly head.

Recent studies have highlighted the detrimental effects of loneliness on our physical and mental health, with some even calling it the modern killer disease. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, collated data from seventy studies and found that social isolation, living alone, and feeling lonely increased the chances of dying by about 30 percent. Not good.

On the other hand, spending time with friends can positively impact our health and well-being. It's not just about having a large number of friends but rather the sense of relaxedness that comes with spending quality time with them. According to Nick Christakis and James Fowler, authors of Connected, having happy friends who live nearby can increase our own happiness by 25-34 percent.

But it's not just about the number of friends we have; it's also about the quality of those friendships. A depressed friend is six times more likely to make us depressed than a happy friend is to make us happy. And while we may think of our online connections as friends, studies have shown that the number of Facebook friends we have doesn't necessarily correlate with the size of our social circles in the real world. I have thousands of friends on Facebook, so I know that’s true. I hardly heard from any of them during my recent hiatus from social media.

We need human connection and interaction to thrive

So, what makes a good friend? Professor Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist, has spent years studying the behavior of wild animals and exploring social evolution. He found that our networks are limited to around 150 slots, and we first slot in our family members before filling the remaining slots with unrelated friends. Dunbar also discovered that our number of friends correlates with the size of the key parts of our brains used in social situations. And yes, if you’re thinking “Dunbar’s Number,” you’re thinking of the right guy.

In today's world, where we are more connected than ever, it's easy to mistake online interactions for real friendships. But as Dunbar points out, it's important to have meaningful, offline connections with others before disaster strikes. These relationships are built on a sense of obligation and the exchange of favors, people whom we wouldn't feel embarrassed about asking for help.

In the end, we need to find a balance between socializing and solitude, between friendship and loneliness. It's okay to enjoy spending time alone, but it's important not to isolate ourselves completely. As social beings, we need human connection and interaction to thrive, to feel happy and fulfilled. So, reach out to an old friend, join a new group, and make meaningful connections that will enrich your life.

I recommend picking up a copy of Dunbar’s book, Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships. He wrote, “Friendship and loneliness are two sides of the same social coin, and we lurch through life from one to the other.” Most of this blog post is inspired by notes I took reading his book and our conversation on my podcast.

Tips for trying standup comedy for the first time

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I performed stand-up comedy for the first time last night. I didn’t bomb, phew!  

I’ve been a comedy fan for my entire life. I grew up listening to all of the greats on albums and watching them on TV. I studied improv at Second City in Toronto. I’ve performed improv in Canada, US, England, Scotland, and Ireland. But standup comedy is a different medium than improv.

In improv, actors rely on one another to support and build a scene together (or to save them from one with a stage swipe) using the audience's suggestions AKA gives. Standup is solo, though. You’re on your own. 

As a keynote speaker, I’m pretty comfortable on stages in front of audiences. I’ve delivered many presentations to thousands of people over the years. Audiences are more forgiving in these arenas because they are there to learn. 

A presentation can’t be crammed with countless facts alone; that would be a train wreck. But a comedian is the opposite when you replace facts with jokes because their success metric is the number of laughs they receive in a set.  

Stories are the medium used to deliver facts, gives, and jokes. 

I’ve performed at several storytelling events over the years. This experience is vital for professional speakers, improvisers, and comedians to consider. Stories are the medium used to deliver facts, gives, and jokes. 

When I think of my favorite comedians, it’s all about the story. Developing that narrative and fitting the jokes within makes excellent comedy.

Tips for first-time comics (even at 50-years-old)

Here are some tips if you’re planning to perform standup for the first time. I'm no expert, of course, but here are some things to consider. 

Build a network. I took stand-up comedy classes at Third Coast in Nashville. I wanted to learn about standup performance, but my second goal was to meet other newbies. This support group will give you honest feedback and hold you accountable. I believe this is crucial. Thanks to Caitlin Price for joining me!

Arrive early and plan to stay late. I arrived just as the doors opened at 7:30 to be sure to add my name to the list. I was the tenth name, and the sets were four minutes. In theory, I should have been on stage at 8:10, but I didn't get selected until - 10:00. The host was choosing people he knew first, but I understand why this is if the host is considering the audience. He needs to be sure the audience is having a good time and won't leave.

Prepare, prepare, prepare. I wrote my script on paper. Then I transcribed it on my computer. I printed that script to rehearse and added the main bullets on a notecard (large enough to refer to on stage without my readers. I’m fifty now, and I need readers - you will too.) I then paced across my living room floor back and forth with a timer reciting the performance. Over and over and over. My goal is not to bring the card on stage with me. It’s best to have more than enough content because, on stage, your nerves make you go faster than planned.

Study the art. I watch stand-up specials on Netflix and YouTube all of the time. I listen to brilliant podcasts like Good One, where the host Jessie Fox dissects hilarious comedy with the actual comedian. I also recommend storytelling podcasts like The Moth and This American Life. See live comedy! Note what you like and dislike from other comedians when you are in the audience. Be there to support these brave people!

Respect the house and the host. When the host flashes a light or gives you a wave, it’s time to wrap it up. As a speaker, I’m anal about time because I want to respect the next speaker, the audience, and the meeting planners. You can throw the whole schedule off if you go over your time speaking at a conference. You also want to respect the club for providing a space to perform. Order drinks and generously tip your server. 

Record your set. As cringe-worthy as it is, it’s essential to review your performance. Count the laughs (I got nineteen in four minutes for my first time, I included chuckles.) Note where you can improve—test new bits. You can buy a little tripod for your phone or ask your friend to record it for you. The recordings will reveal how much you’ve improved over time.  

Keep smiling. It’s easy to feel deflated when you’re picked last (or third from last.) It felt like my attempts to play sports in grade school. Since it was an open mic night, many talented comedians were testing new material, while others were amateurs attempting stand-up for the first time (like me). Regardless, smile and stay positive, and do your best up there. 

If at first, you don't succeed, try try, try again. This was on a fridge magnet at my mum's house when I was a kid. It was solid advice. I love this quote by Norm MacDonald about bombing, "Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny."

Want to hear more about my adventures with standup? Follow the journey here.

If you're looking for more advice on performance, writing, and comedy, check out this blog post. 

What’s your experience with stand-up comedy? Have you performed before? Would you like to try? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

Be Nice to People. Rivers -> Radio -> Podcast

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“I got through! I got through!"

Few things were more exciting in the 1980s than calling your favourite radio station and getting through. I wish I could remember why I had called 1050 CHUM in Toronto, but there I was on hold about to speak live on the air.

The host of the morning show was radio broadcasting legend, Tom Rivers. Rivers was like Toronto’s own Johnny Fever from WKRP.

CHUM’s Creative Director, Larry MacInnis described Tom, “At heart, he was a mischievous twelve-year-old boy in the body of a six-foot-ten, four hundred-pound man-child – a heavyweight talent in every sense of the word.”

I suppose we connected well because I was around twelve-years-old at the time.

After saying something on air, Tom graciously invited me down to the station for a tour. I am willing to bet that 99% of Toronto kids were never given the same opportunity.

I begged my mum, who quickly gave in and scheduled our meeting. Together we travelled down to the popular Top-40 station in her denim blue, 1978 AMC Gremlin. The car even had a 1050 CHUM sticker affixed to the rear window like most cars in Toronto back then.

Tom Rivers and Me and 1050 CHUM radio in Toronto

I remember being mesmerized as I watched Tom in action behind the microphone and cart machines. His kindness and talent for broadcasting must have left an impression on me. In 1995, I graduated from Seneca College having studied radio and television broadcasting. Naturally, I majored in radio.

My love for radio led me to an internship on an internationally syndicated blues radio show called Blues North, hosted by the wonderful Big John Small. My career in radio teetered off after several attempts at getting a job at radio stations in Toronto. It was simply too competitive a market, and I didn’t have the professional drive or networking knowledge in me quite yet.

From Radio to Podcasting

My passion for broadcasting led me to begin podcasting in 2005. We nearly had the first parenting podcast, Two Boobs and a Baby. We were the second parenting podcast after Paige and Gretchen’s Mommycast. I have had several podcasts since then, with NBN Radio ADHD Wise Squirrels being my most recent podcasting endeavor. (updated 12/14/23)

I am thankful for how nice a guy Tom Rivers was. I am a firm believer that the kindness we share today can inspire others tomorrow. Just ask my daughter, who now proudly bears those call letters of yesteryear.

1050+Chum+T-Shirt

You can do this too.

From mentoring to giving a kid a chance, consider how your kindness can help inspire future generations. Blues artist Albert Collins was another legend who did this for me; that story led to me interning for a national blues radio show! Going above and beyond in the smallest of ways may seem simple, but these gestures are like waves that leave ripples in the water for decades.