Slow down and change your perspective.

My biggest takeaway from 2022 was to slow down and focus on perspective. What I learned directly resulted from a steady practice of mindfulness and meditation. The revelation came as I strolled along the lower trail of a State Park.

Radnor Lake is an over 1,300-acre nature preserve on the edge of Nashville. It has always been a favorite since moving to Music City in 2007. I’ve strolled along the tranquil lake paths and up to the more challenging cliffs many times with friends, family, and on my own. It was on my own when the thought of putting things in perspective hit home.

I suddenly felt melancholy and sadness as I noticed young children frolicking around me. It occurred to me that our kids are now teenagers, and the days of entertaining our young ones through the forest were gone. I was feeling lonely.

A lack of connection causes loneliness and is synonymous with perceived social isolation, not objective social isolation. Even living among people you love, you can still feel lonely. My challenges with anxiety weren’t helping me at that moment.

I noticed how happy the parents looked as they laughed at their kids being silly, bouncing through the leaves, and climbing the trees. I asked myself why I was feeling sad. The answer made me realize that my chosen emotion needed to be corrected. It wasn’t sadness that I should be feeling but happiness, but why happiness?

• Happy that these random parents and their children were having fun around me.

• Happy that I took our kids through these same trails many times when they were little.

• Happy that our kids now have memories of their own and enjoy such hikes in their later teenage years.

• Happy that I did this with our kids. I chose to take them on these walks through the woods.

This occasion of walking alone in the woods triggered my reflection, which led to the revelation. I realized that true sadness would be warranted if I had never taken them on the trails. If I had never spent time playing with them through those woods, that regret and sadness would make sense to me.

Slowing down and going for the hike helped me clear my head. The power of perspective made me realize it was a time to celebrate. I remember smiling and feeling great joy as I continued my hike along Radnor Lake.

How to Stay Sane During a Pandemic

I have a tip to help you keep your sanity as you are social distancing at home. This doesn’t involve creative ways to exercise while hunkered down. It doesn’t include a sourdough bread recipe or a Netflix recommendation. It involves some reflection.

I’ve been thinking about how much worse being stuck inside at home would be if I was living in the past.

This could have happened back in 2002 when we had a 725-square-foot condo in Toronto. It was nice but small for two people. We were newlyweds, but I expect Heather would have left me if we had been stuck together this long (I wouldn’t have blamed her). We had even considered staying there when we got pregnant, but it would have been terrible for three and even worse for a family of four. Imagine parents with two young children stuck in such small quarters during a pandemic?

We once shared an apartment with five flatmates in Edinburgh, Scotland. We had one telephone, one bathroom, one kitchen (and one bottle of Fairy) between all seven of us. This was before Netflix. We had to walk several blocks to the video store to rent movies. Renting movies wouldn’t have been possible being locked indoors with businesses shuttered. We had no internet, only internet cafes blocks away that would have also been closed.

It could have been far worse. We could be in Galway, Ireland sharing a tiny apartment with three unpredictably, irrational flatmates (no, not you Ben, Aaron, and Maura, a different place). One flatmate was temperamental, one was a psychotic gypsy, and the other was a criminal. We didn’t have a television in our room back then. We had a lock on the door to sleep (somewhat) peacefully. Quarantining in that place would have been hell.

If COVID-19 had arrived in 1988, I would have been living alone in a dark, musty, basement apartment. That “swanky” bachelor pad (err, dump) had one tiny, ground-level window facing some bushes and only one room. It didn’t even have an oven for baking precious sourdough bread, it came with a hotplate. COVID-88 would have sucked.

Try Reflecting

Reflecting on some of the places I have lived has made me more empathetic. I consider the different scenarios that other people are going through today. This perspective has left me much more content as I continue to hunker down with my amazing family.

We have our health. We have a roof over our heads. We have an oven and enough yeast to bake sourdough bread (we haven’t tried yet). We have a treadmill, Netflix, and even toilet paper. We are going to be okay.

I’m just going to resist boasting about it online.

Reflect on what you have now compared to the past. Consider how others must be dealing with living in such close quarters under these unpredictable, unfortunate days.

Stay safe, friends. Be kind. Wash your hands.

Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash.

I Am Glad I...

I wrote yesterday about a regret I have. We all have regrets. Don't lie and say you don't. I have been thinking about this lately because I sometimes compare myself to others I admire. Once again, something I shouldn't do, but I do - you do it too. 

Heather has girlfriends she gets together with once a year who she met in college. I always hear stories from friends about their college days. I get envious and I wish I had done the same thing, but I didn't. 

I Wish Had...

Fill in the blank, I wish I had ________________________________________________. Now replace "I wish had" with "I am glad I". 

I Am Glad I...

I am glad I went to university for night classes and on weekends because I approached it in a much more mature way. I built relationships with faculty who I am still in touch with today. I excelled in my classes because I took them so much more seriously than I would have out of high school. I did it while I worked during the day and while Heather was pregnant. I remember it fondly. 

I wish I had become a speaker, so I would be in as much demand as some of my peers like Scott Stratten, Mitch Joel, and Chris Brogan. 

I am glad I waited to become a speaker until later because I am much more rehearsed and knowledgeable about the topics I speak on now. I am glad I didn't speak before studying improv with Second City, because I know how to read an audience and deliver content that leaves them thinking, inspired and laughing. 

What about you? 

I Wish Had... 

I Am Glad I...