How to create a blueprint for personal and professional achievement using Success Frames.

Listeners to my podcast, ADHD Wise Squirrels, will already be familiar with the executive coach and author, Rob Hatch.

I loved his latest book, Success Frames: Why learning from success is the key to understanding what motivates and inspires us.

In "Success Frames," Hatch delves into the intricacies of building a framework for success by learning from both achievements and failures. The book highlights the importance of reflecting on one's experiences, emphasizing that true learning stems from analyzing both triumphs and mistakes.

Learning from Experience

Hatch underscores the value of reflection in the learning process, citing John Dewey's assertion that "adults don’t learn from doing. They learn by reflecting on what they have done." This reflection is crucial in understanding why things go right and how to replicate those successes. Hatch shares that while failures can illuminate gaps in knowledge or execution, they must be balanced with an understanding of what successful efforts look like.

Defining Success

Success is a subjective term, and Hatch emphasizes the importance of personalizing its definition. His research identified education, relationships, and character as the top three components of their success. Hatch encourages readers to define what success means to them, incorporating elements like financial freedom and personal growth into their definitions.

Building a Success Framework

A significant part of Hatch's approach involves creating frameworks based on successful experiences. These frameworks, which he calls "Success Frames," help individuals and organizations replicate positive outcomes. The beauty of these frameworks lies in their flexibility—they allow for customization based on the specific needs and goals of the people using them.

Hatch introduces various strategies to build these frameworks:

• ActionStacks: These are step-by-step checklists that guide the completion of recurring tasks. By pre-defining the steps, ActionStacks help automate processes and reduce decision fatigue.

• OODA Loop: This decision-making model involves observing, orienting, deciding, and acting. It’s a cyclical process that encourages continuous improvement and adaptation.

Leveraging Strengths

Hatch advocates for a strengths-based approach, echoing findings from Gallup that focusing on strengths significantly boosts engagement and performance. By leveraging what people do well, individuals and teams can achieve higher levels of success and satisfaction.

Practical Application

Throughout "Success Frames," Hatch provides practical advice on implementing these principles. He discusses the importance of planning ahead, reducing reliance on willpower, and creating environments conducive to success. For instance, Hatch recommends scheduling specific "success blocks" of time dedicated to critical projects, free from interruptions.

Learning from Others

Hatch also highlights the value of learning from others' successes. By identifying and connecting with individuals who have achieved what one aspires to, people can gain valuable insights and guidance. This network of successful individuals can provide support, advice, and inspiration.

Emotional and Mental Well-being

Understanding and managing emotions is another critical aspect of Hatch's framework. He points out that focusing on what’s going well can help counterbalance the natural tendency to dwell on problems. This positive focus can enhance resilience and motivation, making it easier to overcome challenges. Hatch shares his own experiences with his late diagnosis of ADHD and how considering his coping mechanisms can be impactful.

You can listen to my full interview with Hatch by clicking the play button below or visiting Wise Squirrels.

Rob Hatch's "Success Frames" offers a comprehensive guide to achieving personal and professional success. By reflecting on experiences, defining success on one's own terms, building adaptable frameworks, leveraging strengths, and learning from others, readers can create robust paths to their goals. The book serves as both a practical manual and an inspirational resource, encouraging individuals to take control of their success journeys and that’s exactly what I plan to do after reading it!

Let's get together.

It's lovely hearing from you both online and in person. I had a few recent encounters with folks I didn't realize were subscribers who asked about the return of the Nice Maker newsletter. I've been mulling over this thought for a while, and it's led me in a new/old direction. My decision will be essential for Nashville-area readers, but don't let that scare you off because I have plans for you, too. 

It's no secret how much I love connecting with people; I wrote a book about the topic. New Business Networking came because I spoke to a stranger at Jason's conference, and she became my publisher!

When I reflect on the sixteen years I've lived in Nashville, I think fondly of the memories of the people I've met from the events I've either organized or helped organize.

I co-founded BarCamp Nashville and PodCamp Nashville with Marcus Whitney, whom I worked with at Emma - my first job in Nashville. BarCamp planning led to meeting Mark Rowan, whom I worked for at Griffin, my second job in Nashville. Stasia Kudrez spoke at BarCamp, and that connection led to five years of speaking for Google. I founded Geek Breakfast to unite people between the events. I created Nashcocktail to connect the late risers who couldn't make breakfast. These two monthly networking events led to countless relationships with many wonderful people and rewarding opportunities for participants. 

I love you people! 

Nice people from Nashcocktail.

The truth is that 2023 has been a hell of a year for me professionally. I'm hearing similar feedback from many friends. Post-pandemic loneliness has been taking its toll on both our mental and physical health. Greedy algorithms and dodgy bots have hijacked our favorite social networking sites. Many of us work alone from our homes, talking more with ChatGPT than our friends, even when our loving families surround us.

The thing I crave most is human-to-human connection. The handshakes, high-fives, and hugs bring us together, and virtual reality hasn't replaced this and (hopefully) never will. I have a pretty decent track record of being this instigator, a misfit who loves getting nice people together. 

This is where you come in.

I've decided to start hosting events again. Most of these will be free, with some exceptions. One thing I've spun my wheels on is deciding whether I should start another breakfast thing, unconference, cocktail hour, a hiking group, a movie, or a comedy outing... and then I thought, screw it, why don't I do all of the above? Wouldn't this be a nice idea? 

And like the good old days of tweetups and meetups, why don't I organize similar events when traveling? Great things can happen at such get-togethers; just ask Merlene and Randy. 

And with this, I bring you the new and improved Nice Maker Substack newsletter. My goal is to communicate with you about upcoming events I'm hosting or attending. Sometimes, I will give you weeks' notice of an event; other times, I will invite you to join us for a hike in a few hours or a coffee that afternoon.

Of course, you don't have to commit to all the events I invite you to, but it is always nice to have you come along. I want to unite people again, and I hope you will join me.

NEXT STEPS…

Nice Makers, you are just three steps away from connection, collaboration, opportunities, friendships, and more... 

1. Subscribe to the newsletter and watch for each email.  

2. RSVP for an event. 

3. Show up for the event. Don't cancel at the last minute. 

I wish you a happy, healthy, and wealthy 2024! I hope to see you around.

How to know, respect, and connect yourself.

In a world that often prioritizes speed, productivity, and conformity, it's easy to feel disconnected from our true selves. We often rush through life, barely pausing to reflect on who we are, what we value, and what brings us joy. This reality impacts everyone, regardless of their operating system. The Root Down process will help us better understand ourselves, respect our unique qualities, and forge deeper connections with others.

Understanding the Root Down Process

The Root Down process is a concept inspired by the experiences of individuals with ADHD, who often struggle to fit into a neurotypical world. My method encourages self-discovery, self-respect, and improved connections with others.

Here’s how it works.

Know Yourself - Understanding oneself is the foundation of personal growth and well-being. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values clarifies decision-making and helps you navigate life more effectively. For individuals with ADHD, this self-awareness is often heightened due to the daily challenges we face. However, anyone can benefit from taking time to explore their inner landscape.

When you know yourself, you can make choices that align with your true nature. This reduces inner conflict, boosts self-confidence, and increases overall life satisfaction.

Respect Yourself - Self-respect is the cornerstone of mental and emotional health. It means accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all. The ADHD community often faces stigmatization and misunderstanding, making self-acceptance challenging. Nonetheless, it's a vital step in the Root Down process.

Respecting yourself fosters self-esteem, resilience, and a sense of empowerment. It allows you to set healthy boundaries, say no when necessary, and prioritize your well-being.

Connecting Yourself - Humans are inherently social beings. Building meaningful connections with others is essential for emotional health and personal growth. However, these connections must be based on authenticity, not masks. We must seek out like-minded individuals who understand our unique challenges.

Authentic connections provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and enrich your life with diverse perspectives and experiences.

The Root Down will transform your workplace team or conference audience. Learn more and say hello here.

Let's talk about ageism

I recently interviewed Ashton Applewhite, an internationally recognized expert on ageism. Applewhite has been recognized by the UN and the World Health Organization as one of the Healthy Aging 5050 leaders working to make the world a better place to grow old. She has also written a book, "This Chair Rocks. A Manifesto Against Ageism," inspired by her interviews with people over 80 for a project called "So You Want to Retire?" that aimed to address everyday ageism assumptions.

During the conversation, we discuss the changing nature of work and retirement. We agree that the traditional concept of retirement is becoming obsolete as people live longer and need to retrain and learn new skills constantly. We also agree that work is essential for providing connection and purpose in life, especially for men. The information age has also provided new opportunities for people to work remotely and continue working at any age. We touch on the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement and how retiring too early can harm some people, particularly business owners.

Language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated.

We spoke about retirement and the judgment that can come with it. The traditional retirement age is obsolete, and that retirement itself needs to be rethought. I acknowledge my privilege in having work I love and control over my schedule. We also mention how language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated. We both agree that aging is not necessarily sad or depressing and the importance of continuous learning and growth.

During the conversation, we discussed how aging is fascinating and touched on fields of study and aspects of the human condition. We also agree that referring to someone as "old" is not inherently insulting but only becomes problematic when attached to value judgments. We then shift to embracing aging and how physical function is not necessarily linked to age. Personal experiences such as my annoying back pain and eye problems are shared to illustrate this point.

We discuss how apprehension about aging is often related to stereotypes and stigma around physical and mental capacity, which is ableism rather than ageism. While physical and cognitive decline is inevitable with aging, it affects each person differently. The negative aspects of aging, such as the possibility of running out of money or ending up alone, are legitimate fears. Still, society tends to only focus on the negative side of aging. I embrace both the positives and negatives of aging and question the notion that everything about getting old is awful while everything about being young is great.

Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

During the podcast, we discuss how society reflexively blames age for various physical issues and how this can be harmful. People should ask for help more often and destigmatize asking for and accepting help. Individuals should remember that everyone needs help at some point, and it is a two-way transaction. Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

We also share a story of an older woman who was offended when a young man offered to help her at a self-checkout machine and explain that the problem is not the offer itself but the assumption that the person needs help solely based on their age or appearance. We emphasize the importance of listening to and respecting the answer when offering help and suggest a kinder approach of offering seats to anyone who might need it rather than solely based on age or disability.

The podcast highlights the need for self-awareness and challenging internalized stereotypes to create a more inclusive and respectful society. During the conversation, we discuss the importance of respecting everyone regardless of age and physical ability. We agreed that ageism is deeply ingrained in Western culture, and we must examine our biases towards aging and physical ability. We also mention the benefits of living in mixed-age communities where everyone has visibility and purpose.

Listen to our full interview on the Nice Podcast.

Looking for corporate workshop ideas that are fun workshops for employees?

In 2017, I became a contract speaker for Google. Since then, I have taught thousands of people how to improve their digital skills to grow their businesses and careers. I’ve worked with wonderful organizations like the SBDC, SBA, SCORE, chambers of commerce, colleges, and libraries across the United States and Canada. Let me know if you’d like some help too.

As a Grow with Google speaker, Google trusts me to represent them across multiple states, including Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arizona. I’ve even represented Google on local and national television news.

One highlight of representing Google was being booked as the head trainer for six flagship events across Canada, where I spoke to audiences in the hundreds. Along this journey, I was also asked to train Google trainers to improve their presentation skills in train-the-trainers sessions.

Now I’m offering this to you. If you have a team of trainers or a department (like sales and marketing) who wish to improve their communication skills, or you want to communicate with confidence, check this out.

Next week, I will be in Arizona teaching a team of wonderful trainers in my COMMUNICATION & STORYTELLING WORKSHOP. I can't wait to help them improve how they represent their company. I’d love to help you too.

Tapping into Team Feedback

I have read many definitions of what a brand is, but I believe the best one is by Jeff Bezos of Amazon fame. “Your brand is what other people say about you when you're not in the room.”

If an unhappy team member complains about your company and you aren’t in the room to hear it, how do you know it was said? This sounds like a philosophical thought experiment like “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" It’s not.

The feedback (good or bad) that your staff members are providing is paramount to building a strong culture. Not only can unhappy people cost your business tens of thousands of dollars in rehiring and retraining when they decide to quit, but they can hinder your rehiring process too. Of course, it’s most important to focus on being nice and preventing this in the first place.

A good first step is to read the reviews of your current and former employees. To do this, I recommend searching for your company name on Glassdoor and Indeed. The following are a few examples Sunil Rajaraman found for his article, The 5 Most Hilarious Glassdoor Reviews of Silicon Valley Employers.

Employee Satisfaction Surveys

As a general rule, the more questions you ask in a survey the fewer answers you will receive. Brevity is important. Begin by understanding why you are creating an employee survey in the first place, perhaps it’s based on the feedback you discovered researching your company on the aforementioned sites.

I spoke with Susan Baier, whose work I admire at Audience Audit for her advice about the best tips for employee surveys.

Five Tips for Employee Surveys

1. Make it anonymous. Even if you tell people it is, if you're conducting it they might wonder if you're tracking their IP address or something. If you can have a 3rd party administer it, all the better. At the end, you can ask respondents if they would like to have a conversation with someone about their responses, but make it OPTIONAL. Nobody has to provide identifying information, department, level, location, etc.

2. Don't ask leading questions, like "Aren't we great?" "Is this the best place you've ever worked?" Instead, stick to: "How would you rate your compensation compared to your peers at other organizations?" etc.

3. Make sure you give people a full range of response options. No giving them a scale like this:

• Excellent

• Really good

• Pretty good

• Okay

• Not that great

Scales need to be balanced, with an equal number of positive responses as negative ones. You can't leave off "terrible" just because you don't want anyone to pick it.

4. Ask them how likely they think it is that you'll act on their feedback if they provide any. You can learn a lot just from that question.

5. Include an open-ended question asking for their advice, suggestions, etc.

Tap into your team’s feedback

Try not to take any negative feedback you receive from the employee surveys and the reviews you read online to heart. Use what you discover to improve your company culture.

Do you want to stop wasting money on recruiting and training? Do you want happier, more connected employees? Focus on how you hear your team.

“Your brand is what other people say about you when you’re not in the room.”

— Jeff Bezos, Amazon.

Outcomes from acknowledging life outside your walls

You have to acknowledge there is life outside the walls of your organization. I know, you understand this, but most people during the day-to-day forget. We are focused on prospecting and client work that we often neglect considering what’s beyond those walls.

I want to teach you the true value of embracing life outside your walls. Doing so will lead to happier and more connected employees. This will improve retention and save you money on recruiting and retraining your team members when they quit.

This particular story hits three of the most important pieces of life outside your walls. You have to have internal aspects, external aspects, and trust.

In 2010, I proposed an idea to gather a few fellow team members at Griffin Technology and embark on a road trip. The plan evolved into a major undertaking that involved rebuilding a 1972 VW Westfalia after hours, driving it 2,500 miles from Nashville to Las Vegas, organizing meet-ups with our customers, and parking ‘Double Nickles’ in our booth at CES (the largest consumer electronics show in the world).

Life Outside Your Walls

Trust

Let’s begin with trust. Without the consent of the leadership team at Griffin the trip, affectionately known as CES Bound, would not have taken place. People who work in companies that do the best job creating a culture of trust, compared to those in companies that are the worst at it, are 50% more productive, 76% more engaged, and have more than double the energy, according to research led by Paul Zak, director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University. Trust matters.

Externally

Allowing your team members the freedom to leave the office to attend conferences and tradeshows can be incredibly rewarding. They learn new skills and build relationships with future clients or customers, employees, and strategic partners.

The CES Bound trip was a six-day journey of getting to know my colleagues better. Lifelong friendships and brand loyalty were established.

Internally

The staff at Griffin eagerly volunteered their time to rebuild an immobile classic VW bus after hours. The team also organized meetups, promotional partnerships, media coverage, and 2,5000 miles worth of content for social media and promotional usage like this road trip tips guide we made.

What happened?

The outcomes of this initiative were:

“This is a nice example of how the creativity of people who have a vested interest in an organization can be harnessed in completely novel ways.

What this tells me is that Griffin listens to its innovative talent instead of ignoring their disruptive actions. This is really necessary for an organization that has to remain nimble and resilient in an industry that changes daily. Being able to leverage its own internal creativity increases the chance that Griffin will continue to be successful.”

— Richard Gayle, President, SpreadingScience.

1. We had a team of connected people with unparalleled trust in the company.

2. We had a team that was more cohesive than ever and it actually led our work within those walls to be even better.

3. We had tons of content like photos and videos that helped promote our company culture and products.

4. We welcomed countless media professionals and buyers to our booth at CES who wanted to learn about our new products and have their photos made with the bus.

5. We received media coverage from technology and business reporters.

I’m not telling you to go on a road trip, but you have to get this right and do these things if you want to have happy connected employees and if you want to reduce costs of recruiting and training replacement staff. Think about other ways you can celebrate life outside your walls.

I loved working at Griffin Technology. We built such a strong team and culture that we were able to grow and eventually, the acclaimed technology company was even acquired.

Three costly employee onboarding mistakes and how to avoid them

What is it about starting a new job that makes you want to quit? Up to 20% of employee turnover happens in the first 45 days for new hires!

According to SHRM, one-third of new hires quit their jobs after nearly six months. Just putting bums into seats behind computers does not save your fast-growing technology company money. In fact, losing and retraining staff is costly. A company can spend six to nine months of an employee's salary to replace them. For an employee making $60,000 per year, that comes out to $30,000 - $45,000 in recruiting and training costs. Yikes!

You want happier and more connected employees to improve retention, build a strong culture, and stop wasting money on recruiting and training. According to an HR Executive article by Jamie Kohn, “Employees today are experiencing a crisis of connection. According to Gartner research, only 40% of employees feel a sense of belonging at their organization. The problem is even worse for new employees; just 32% of employees hired in the past 12 months feel a sense of belonging to their organization.”

Three common employee onboarding mistakes to avoid the wrecks.

1. Failing to prepare for the new employee’s arrival.

A study by Octanner found 69% of employees are more likely to stay with a company for three years if they experienced great onboarding. Organizations with a standard onboarding process experience 50% greater new hire retention.

Alexandra Hicks at Zenefits shares ten ways to prepare for an employee's first day. She perfectly captures what I recommend companies do.

1. Send a first-day welcome announcement to the company. I suggest including an internal FAQ as I wrote about in my Nice Method post about how to avoid the wrecks.

2. Prepare their space.

3. Provide a staff directory.

4. Simplify first-day paperwork.

5. Offer a solid training program.

6. Assign a mentor.

7. Plan an activity.

8. Give a welcome gift.

9. Check in.

10. Show your enthusiasm.

2. Companies often fail to reinforce their values, purpose, and beliefs. 

What are your beliefs? As Ron Tite wrote in Think, Do, Say, “Believing isn’t enough. You have to act to reinforce your beliefs. These actions are based on who you do your work for, what they want you to do, and who you do it with. Tite shares the example of REI who states “We believe a life lived outside is a life worth living.” So they close their 167 stores on Thanksgiving and Black Friday to encourage their 13,000 employees to #OptOutside. In fact, they pay their staff to do this and encourage other brands to follow suit.

A Gartner survey from June 2020 of 600 employees revealed that employee engagement declined when their employer simply made a statement with no action behind it. When a company took action on a social issue, employee engagement increased by 20 percentage points.

3. Not setting clear goals and expectations.

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Leaders should use the Nice Method to encourage discourse and clarity with their new hires. To do this, be sure they are aware of your open-door policy for feedback and questions. Schedule “Ask me anything coffee” meetings ahead of time, so they are on your new team member’s calendar.

Create SMART Goals and share them openly. To do so; be specific, make the goals measurable by setting key performance indicators, set realistic and achievable goals, be sure your goals are relevant to the business and make them time-bound to know when each goal is due.

Finally, be clear with your team when onboarding begins, how long it will last, and what impressions you want new hires to feel at the end of their first day working with you.

Onboarding is a crucial process in the Nice Method and doing it well will help you avoid the wrecks.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash.

How to stop employee turnover at tech companies

The findings of The Achievers Workforce Institute’s February 2021 survey are sobering. Fifty-two percent of fully-employed employees said they intend to look for a new job this year, up from 35% in 2020. These numbers are especially concerning for the software technology industry who, according to LinkedIn’s most recent study found the industry has the highest turnover rate of 13.2% rate. This figure can be as high as 21.7% for embedded software engineers.

I worked for two fast-growing technology companies and experienced the negative side of growth first-hand. One day, as I was getting a cup of coffee, I noticed a new face preparing her own cup. Her affixed ID badge indicated she too worked there, so I concluded she had just joined our team.

“Hi, I’m Dave, I work in marketing. You must be new.” I smiled and welcomed our new addition.

With a half-hearted chuckle, she replied, “I’ve been working here for four months.” I could tell this was probably not the first belated welcome conversation she experienced in our quick-growing firm. I never saw her again, which left me to conclude she moved on to a different, more welcoming, nicer company.

Success can be a painful journey for your team members. Companies lose their heart as communication and cohesiveness faulters through rapid growth. Your longest and most loyal employees begin to abandon ship because they feel excluded or no longer heard.

A study by The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) reported that on average it costs a company 6 to 9 months of an employee's salary to replace him or her. For an employee making $60,000 per year, that comes out to $30,000 - $45,000 in recruiting and training costs.

I want to give leaders a look behind the scenes at what goes wrong, and how to fix it. The fact that it takes an average of 51 days to fill an IT role in the US, you simply can’t afford to ignore the turnover. While compensation matters, it isn’t the top factor when it comes to retention. Work-life balance and recognition both rate higher than compensation for retaining top talent.

The Nice Method includes three pillars to leaving you with happier and more connected employees, they are Hear Your Team, Avoid The Wrecks, and Life Outside Your Walls.

When you hear your team members actively listening, you avoid the wrecks that cause churn. When you take the time to bring your people together and you consider life outside your walls, you humanize your team which makes them happier and more connected. Happier teams have longer tenures, so you can stop wasting money on recruiting and training.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics found 4 million people quit their jobs in April 2021 — the biggest spike on record. The Nice Method will help you avoid being a part of similar future statistics.

If you’re a fast-growing tech company and you’re experiencing challenges with employee retention you are probably getting one of the Nice Method three pillars wrong.

Step 1. Hear Your Team 👈

Step 2. Avoid the Wrecks

Step 3. Life Outside Your Walls

Immigrants, sex, and donuts

Immigrants come to this country in droves. They start businesses and use a tax loophole, so they don’t have to pay taxes. They then invite their family members and friends here, they too start similar businesses, and they don’t pay taxes either!

This is something two American friends told me a number of months ago before dinner. They explained that these loopholes are how immigrants come from countries like India and Korea and now run most mid-range hotels and convenience stores, respectively.

Naturally, I was dumbfounded. I Googled their tax claim and discovered they were wrong. I politely added that I wish it was true since I’m an immigrant. I joked that I wanted to cash in on this*. They were both surprised but accepted my fact-checked revelation.

I explained that it made sense that an immigrant who comes to America and starts a successful business would invite their extended family. Naturally, they would support and mentor them to create similar businesses. This is what Irish laborers and Italian restauranteurs did in the early days of the US. Go back even further and it was the Spaniards and French who built great wealth from this Native American land.

I don’t expect the gentlemen were racist, they were simply ill-informed by rumors and misinformation. It’s easier to make the case when the people you refer to don’t look like you. Besides, I added, isn’t discovering loopholes to pay as little tax as possible the American way? Even that former president applauded such efforts, but I digress.

Sex & Donuts

Recently, I watched two documentaries on Hulu. I didn’t expect they would both leave me thinking a lot about immigrants... and sex and donuts.

The first film was Ask Dr. Ruth. I watched it because I was just speaking with my kids the other day about her. I told them how we (people growing up in the ’80s) learned all about sex from Dr. Ruth Westheimer (and Sue). I was curious about her story and decided to give the movie a try. I had no idea that Dr. Ruth had been a refugee who lost her parents during the holocaust. She ended up immigrating to the US in 1956.

The second film was The Donut King. The story of Ted Ngoy, also known as the “Donut King” who came to the United States as a penniless refugee from Cambodia in 1975.

Both Dr. Ruth and Ted Ngoy had horrific experiences that led in part to their relentless work ethic and passion for supporting others. Dr. Ruth literally taught thousands of Americans about sex, while Ngoy taught hundreds of Cambodian refugees how to open and run their own donut shops across the country. Both are heroes.

I had no idea that an estimated 80% of donut shops in the Los Angeles area are owned by Cambodian Americans. In Houston, Texas, the percentage is an even larger 90%.

This morning, on the way to school, I took my kids to our local donut shop and mentioned the movie to the cashier. She laughed and confirmed that she too was Cambodian!

I realize immigration is a complex topic that’s far beyond my scope. But I encourage you to watch both of these excellent films and use the web to fact-check when you hear outlandish statements.

And in case you’re wondering, here are the top 25 US companies run by immigrants.

1. Tesla

2. Google

3. eBay

4. PayPal

5. Nordstrom

6. BNY Mellon

7. Kohl’s

8. Cognizant

9. LinkedIn

10. Big Lots

11. DuPont

12. Pfizer

13. Yahoo

14. Soros Fund Management

15. Kraft Heinz

16. Goldman Sachs

17. General Electric

18. Comcast

19. Emerson

20. Capital One

21. Procter & Gamble

22. WellCare Health Plans

23. Honeywell International

24. Colgate

25. Thermo Fisher Scientific

*This immigrant always pays his taxes in full.

Lessons Learned from The Diamond Cutter

The Diamond Cutter by Geshe Michael Roach is a wonderful business book unlike any other.

The main story is the practical application of Buddhist philosophies to the world of business, based upon Geshe Michael Roach's seventeen-years of experience as an employee of the Andin International Diamond Corporation, a company that grew during his tenure from four employees to a world leader in the jewelry industry.

The two main takeaways, I want to share with you are related to how we treat our colleagues and how we consider money.

How we treat others

I once worked with a person who was a loud eater. They would smack their lips in a way that would drive me insane. I had to exit the room while the person lunched just to avoid flipping my desk over in disgust.

The Diamond Cutter made me reconsider this type of negative thinking when dealing with someone who annoys you. Here’s the passage I would like you to read and consider for yourself.

… nothing that ever happens to us is a good thing or a bad thing from its own side, because —if it were— then everyone else would experience it that way as well. For example, our irritating person at work would strike everyone else in exactly the same way, if his or her “irritating-ness” were something inside that was flowing out of that individual and flying across the room to us. In reality though there is almost always someone who finds the person to be good and lovable. 

The fact that this is the case has two important implications:

1) This person has no quality, within him, of being irritating or nice. He himself, from his own side, is “blank” or “neutral” or “empty”. 

2) The reason that we personally experience this person as being irritating must be coming from somewhere else.

Apparently, there is no “irritating-ness” flowing from these people to them— which very simply proves that this is not a quality within the people themselves. They have no such quality within themselves, or it would show itself to others; they are, rather, like blank screens, neutral and different people see different things in them. This is a very simple and undeniable proof of emptiness or hidden potential. And everything else in the world is the same.

So the next time someone is annoying you, consider why you are being annoyed. Rather, consider how the person is loved by others. Don’t be upset if others don’t find you as nice as you are striving to be.

Building wealth

Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash.

The Diamond Cutter spends a fair amount of time exploring the ideas of money and building wealth. I’ve shared strategies related to this with you here before. I’ve also written at length about the need to network nicely within my book, New Business Networking, and to always find ways to serve others first and foremost.

In The Diamond Cutter, Roach shares the idea of planting karmic imprints or seeds for the future. He also speaks of manifestation in this regard.

Now if all these theories are right, then the reason that any particular venture (brilliant or idiotic) is a success and makes money is due only to the good imprints in the mind of its creator: Those who succeed get to see themselves making money only because, at some point in the past, they planted in their minds an imprint to see themselves making money. And this particular imprint can be planted only by watching yourself giving all you can to others. As we’ve seen, this giving begins and should begin in a limited way: Small kindnesses done to people in your own department, or your own family, based on watching them closely to see what they want and need.  

Then the giving graduates to a broader level, say to every department in your company, with the gift taking on more substantial proportions- financial yes, but also in terms of giving your own time, and your emotional and professional support, and helping people with ideas. 

He describes three principles about making money. The first is related to how people feel about money and its connection to greed.

In Buddhism, it is not the money which is in itself wrong; in fact, a person with greater resources can do much more good in the world than one without. The question rather is how we make the money; whether we understand where it comes from and how to make it continue to come; and whether we keep a healthy attitude about the money.

The whole point then is to make money in a clean and honest way, to understand clearly where it comes from so it doesn’t stop, and to maintain a healthy view toward it where we have it. As long as we do these things, making money is completely consistent with a spiritual way of life; in fact, it becomes part of a spiritual way of life.

The second principle is that we should enjoy the money; that is, we should learn how to keep our minds and bodies in good health while we make the money. The activity of creating wealth should not exhaust us so much physically or mentally that we cannot enjoy the wealth. A business person who ruins his health doing business is defeating the very purpose of business.

The third principle is that you should be able to look back at your business, at the end, and honestly say that your years of doing business have had some meaning. The end of every business enterprise we engage in, and in fact the end of our lives, must come to every person who ever does business. And at the most important part of the business - at the end, when we are looking back on all we have achieved - we should see that we have conducted ourselves and our business in a way that had some lasting meaning, that left some good mark in the world.

To summarize, the goal of a business, and of ancient Tibetan wisdom, and in fact of all human endeavor, is to enrich ourselves - to achieve prosperity, both outer and inner. We can enjoy this prosperity only if we maintain a high degree of physical and mental health. And over the length of our lives we must seek ways to make this prosperity meaningful in a larger sense.

There is much more to explore in The Diamond Cutter. I highly recommend you give this gem a read for yourself. Feel free to share any takeaways with me here. I always love to hear from you.

Why You Should Keep Slang Out of Work-Related Communication 🤔

Did you know on average, only 21% of organizations keep their workplace communications simple and jargon-free?

Not everyone understands online sarcasm, and some don't even understand it offline (I feel bad for them). Emoticons are a common thing to include in casual online communication. However, not everyone understands that :-) is supposed to be a smile, and ;-) is supposed to be a wink.

What does the J in emails mean?

Do you use Microsoft Outlook for email? You probably have the popular Wingdings font installed. The cute smile that you include in your message confuses the pants off the recipient if they use a different email client because the smile appears as a single capitalized letter "J."

When corresponding in a professional manner via email, it is best to avoid sarcasm and emoticons. Avoid slang, too, because that can really mess things up for you.

I once ran into a problem with my colleagues. There was confusion over what was needed for an important project. I composed a detailed email to clarify everything, but I made one big mistake.

I meticulously wrote out each step needed for the project in a bulleted email. To be absolutely sure that the team would understand what was needed, I proofread my message multiple times before hitting the send button. My big mistake was how I signed off in the message.

Who the heck is Bob?

You see, I'm Canadian. My Mum is British. That wasn't a typo; I actually call her "Mum." In Canada and the UK, there is a popular expression that we use instead of saying, "And there you have it." The expression is one that completely messed up my perfect email. I ended my email with, "and Bob's your uncle."

I hit send, and I sat back in my chair with a deep feeling of satisfaction for helping everyone understand what was needed. We worked in an open-environment without walls; I could see some of my colleagues at their desks. Their heads were down focusing on their work. Their email notifications went off as my message arrived in their inboxes. Slowly, their heads began to rise with looks of bewilderment across their faces. Finally, one of them exclaimed, "Who the heck is Bob?"

It was tragically hilarious that I then had to explain what the sentence meant. Not only this, but I had to reply to other colleague’s confused emails to me who were not in the room. Yes, it made for a great laugh, but caused a big disruption in the time we could have been using to finish the pressing project.

Whether you're writing an email to follow up with a person you met at a networking event, replying to a customer, or emailing your boss, do yourself a favor and avoid sarcasm, slang, and emoticons. Nobody has the time for long-winded email messages these days, so keep them short, sweet, and nice.

And Bob's your uncle!

Do You Have These Social Intelligence Skills?

In order to effectively lead an organization or department, one must be fluent in social intelligence skills.

The key elements of social intelligence are verbal fluency and conversational skills; knowledge of social roles, rules, and scripts; effective listening skills; understanding what makes other people tick; social self-efficacy; and impression management skills. Social intelligence (SI) is one of the core areas my corporate training focuses on in the Nice Method. How versed are you in each of these areas?

Social Intelligence Skills

Verbal Fluency and Conversational Skills. Ronald E Riggio Ph.D. explains this well in his article in Psychology Today. “You can easily spot someone with lots of SI at a party or social gathering because he or she knows how to “work the room.” The highly socially intelligent person can carry on conversations with a wide variety of people, and is tactful and appropriate in what is said. Combined, these represent what are called “social expressiveness skills.”

Effective Listening Skills. I obsess about actively listening with intent. I love the reaction I get from audiences when I share the fact that an anagram for the word ‘silent’ is ‘listen’ (also ‘tinsel’, but I digress). We don’t learn from speaking, we learn from listening. Here’s a quick video from The Master Communicator’s Secret Weapon presentation for more on how to improve your listening skills.

We don’t learn from speaking, we learn from listening.

Understanding What Makes Other People Tick. As a speaker and improv performer, I have studied how to read an audience. Noting the facial expressions and body language of the crowd is important in adjusting my performance to leave them satisfied. The same goes for professional settings like sales calls, video meetings, candidate interviews, employee performance meetings, and investor calls. Not only is reading the people important but understanding why they are behaving the way they do is crucial.

Knowledge of Social Roles, Rules, and Scripts. To come off as socially sophisticated and wise, one must understand the difference in the people they interact with. In an office setting or virtual meeting, you come across many different types of people who demand different styles of interaction. Recognizing these differences and adapting your communication style is key to effective communication.

Impression Management Skills. You need to be aware of the impression you are leaving on the people you communicate with. This means mixing a healthy dose of authenticity with self-censorship. Being honest and sincere is paramount in everything we do, but being completely transparent can have serious ramifications in professional relationships.

Role-Playing and Social Self-Efficacy. Knowing how to play different social roles will make you feel comfortable no matter who you are communicating with. When you practice these skills you feel socially self-confident and more effective. This is why role-playing is an important part of the Nice Method, which leads to improved social self-efficacy.

Be Nice to People. Rivers -> Radio -> Podcast

“I got through! I got through!"

Few things were more exciting in the 1980s than calling your favourite radio station and getting through. I wish I could remember why I had called 1050 CHUM in Toronto, but there I was on hold about to speak live on the air.

The host of the morning show was radio broadcasting legend, Tom Rivers. Rivers was like Toronto’s own Johnny Fever from WKRP.

CHUM’s Creative Director, Larry MacInnis described Tom, “At heart, he was a mischievous twelve-year-old boy in the body of a six-foot-ten, four hundred-pound man-child – a heavyweight talent in every sense of the word.”

I suppose we connected well because I was around twelve-years-old at the time.

After saying something on air, Tom graciously invited me down to the station for a tour. I am willing to bet that 99% of Toronto kids were never given the same opportunity.

I begged my mum, who quickly gave in and scheduled our meeting. Together we travelled down to the popular Top-40 station in her denim blue, 1978 AMC Gremlin. The car even had a 1050 CHUM sticker affixed to the rear window like most cars in Toronto back then.

I remember being mesmerized as I watched Tom in action behind the microphone and cart machines. His kindness and talent for broadcasting must have left an impression on me. In 1995, I graduated from Seneca College having studied radio and television broadcasting. Naturally, I majored in radio.

My love for radio led me to an internship on an internationally syndicated blues radio show called Blues North, hosted by the wonderful Big John Small. My career in radio teetered off after several attempts at getting a job at radio stations in Toronto. It was simply too competitive a market, and I didn’t have the professional drive or networking knowledge in me quite yet.

From Radio to Podcasting

My passion for broadcasting led me to begin podcasting in 2005. We nearly had the first parenting podcast, Two Boobs and a Baby. We were the second parenting podcast after Paige and Gretchen’s Mommycast. I have had several podcasts since then, with NBN Radio ADHD Wise Squirrels being my most recent podcasting endeavor. (updated 12/14/23)

I am thankful for how nice a guy Tom Rivers was. I am a firm believer that the kindness we share today can inspire others tomorrow. Just ask my daughter, who now proudly bears those call letters of yesteryear.

You can do this too.

From mentoring to giving a kid a chance, consider how your kindness can help inspire future generations. Blues artist Albert Collins was another legend who did this for me; that story led to me interning for a national blues radio show! Going above and beyond in the smallest of ways may seem simple, but these gestures are like waves that leave ripples in the water for decades.

Taking a Break

My head has been scattered lately. We have had to temporarily move from our home into a tiny, two-bedroom space for four people and a dog. Finding a quiet corner to work from has been practically impossible.

This move was due to the recent storms that gave our home and property a beating. The tornadoes, just two months earlier, destroyed my kid’s school and several favorite family spots. 

And we’ve had this damned pandemic. My son’s school band trip to New Orleans was canceled. Our NYC Broadway adventure for our daughter was postponed. I can’t visit Toronto to see my ill father and self-quarantined mother. Plus a summer trip to Europe to visit my brother was also canceled. First world problems, I know. We have our health and I am truly thankful for this.

My business has also taken a beating since most of my work involves public speaking and delivering corporate workshops. I have managed to switch some of this to virtual and I’m thankful the feedback has been great. I am also working with a few new coaching clients. Still, things are not quite where I need them to be professionally.

Summer Break for Planning & Producing 

I have frequently been distracted by social media and stories in the media that are out of my control. Instead, I should be focused on producing the research, outreach, and content that you will find valuable. Quite frankly, I feel the added distractions have pushed me off course enough to take a break - a summer break.

And so for the months of June and July, I’m going to pause The Nice Maker. I’m going to spend my days planning and producing. For the first time since I started using social media, I’m going to take a long-needed break. 

I always love to hear from you. I’ll still be scheduling video meetings and telephone calls. You can reach me at dave@futureforth.com anytime. I’ll keep an eye out for DMs, PMs, and such, but email will be your best bet. It’s time to unplug.

I’m excited to regain my focus and refresh my head. I expect great things will come as a result, I’m looking forward to sharing them with you in August. 

Enjoy your June and July. Stay safe and be nice to one another. 

Cheers!

PS:

If you’re craving some of my content, why not pick a blog post you might have missed?

Random Acts of Kindness for the Office

Random Acts of Kindness Week comes each February. For much of the world, February weather sucks. Just looking out of the window as I write this is a reminder. It’s been gray and raining endlessly in Nashville over the past few days. Perhaps this is why Random Acts of Kindness was created during this dreary month. Let’s brighten it up, shall we?

The following is a list of twenty-five ideas you can use at work to be nice to your colleagues and to yourself. I encourage you to print this list and pin it above your desk or stick it on the wall in your kitchen to share the ideas. Even though you are encouraged to deliver random acts of kindness during the official week, there is nothing stopping you from doing so during the fifty-one other weeks of the year.

Kindness releases feel-good hormones

As Maile Proctor writes, “kindness releases feel-good hormones. Have you ever noticed that when you do something nice for someone else, it makes you feel better too? This isn’t just something that happens randomly—it has to do with the pleasure centers in your brain.”

She continues, “Doing nice things for others boosts your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of satisfaction and well-being. Like exercise, altruism also releases endorphins, a phenomenon known as a “helper’s high.”

25 Tips for Being Nice at Work

1. Buy a coffee, grab creamers and sugar, and deliver them to the first person you see at work. This could be a custodian, receptionist, security person, colleague, stranger. 

2. Hold the door open for someone. 

3. Give someone a compliment for the good work they do. Or the cool shoes they are wearing. 

4. Smile.

5. Take a private bathroom break to practice a short meditation. I’m a fan of Sam Harris’s Waking Up app. 

6. Send a positive text, Slack, or instant message to a colleague. 

7. As companies grow it is common not to recognize everybody. Talk to a colleague you don’t know. Invite them with you for lunch.

8. Hold the elevator door open for someone. Say hello to your fellow passenger.

9. Tape two dollars to the vending machine. 

10. Tidy the kitchen. Clean out the microwave. Empty the fridge. 

11. Be a hero. Make a pot of coffee.

12. Surprise your team by bringing donuts or baking something special.

13. Write a LinkedIn recommendation. Connect your LinkedIn connections.

14. Choose to forgive and accept people for who they are.

15. Write a list of what you are thankful for.

16. Leave a huge tip for a barista or a server.

17. Pay the toll or bus fare for the person behind you. 

18. Put your phone away when you are around other people. 

19. Write a complimentary LinkedIn post about a colleague and tag them.

20. Work without headphones. Raise your head from your computer and smile at each person who walks by. Consider your resting face.

21. Compliment a colleague to your manager. Write them an email about how awesome the person is.

22. Interject a kind comment when people are gossiping.

23. Give a colleague a copy of a book that impacted you.

24. Write a list of all the things you enjoy about your work.

25. Listen intently as someone is speaking to you. Use the L.I.S.T.E.N. acronym (VIDEO).

Your Turn…

Download this as a PDF to print and share with your colleagues to brighten up the day.

Photo by Sandrachile on Unsplash.

Save up to $300,000* by adding this item to your to-do list

I advocate for being nice to everyone you encounter each day. Yes, it sometimes takes a bit of empathy to return a smile and keep your patience intact.

Leaders of organizations can measure the result of being nice. The best way to do this is to recognize each team member frequently enough to make them feel proud of the work they do. A compliment goes a long way.

I recommend leaders add this item to their daily to-do lists.

Today I recognized ____________________________________

A quick pat on the back and compliment will make a person’s day. Happier staff feel more positive and are less likely to find a job elsewhere. As I mentioned, do this to be nice first and foremost. Then consider the cost of replacing an unhappy employee.

The ROI of Nice

How much does it cost to replace an unhappy team member? 

Entry-level employees - 30-50% of their annual salary.

Mid-level employees - upwards of 150% of their annual salary.

High-level or highly specialized employees - 400% of their annual salary.

If you are a 150-person company with 11% annual turnover, and you spend $25,000 per-person on hiring, $10,000 each on turnover and development, and lose $50,000 of productivity opportunity cost on average when refilling a role, then your annual cost of turnover would be about $1.57 million. Reducing this by just 20%, for example, would immediately yield over $300,000 in value. And that says nothing of the emotional headache and cultural drain felt from losing great people*. - Source: https://blog.employerscouncil.org/2017/06/28/costs-of-turnover/

Do you want to improve how nice you are to yourself, your team, and your community? Recognize a team member each day of the week. I cover this and much more in The ROI of Nice presentation.

Photo by Lukas from Pexels.

Think. Do. Say.

I’m writing the next sentences in my best Julia Child voice... Combine a large pot of stellar speaking skills with several dollops of branding and marketing smarts. Mix a fresh bunch of humor, several cups of creativity, sprigs of kindness. Add these ingredients together, bake, and voilà - Ron Tite!

Ron is the president and CEO of Church + State, a creative agency in Toronto. He is also the author of the new book, Think. Do. Say. How to seize attention and build trust in a busy, busy world. I loved it!

I’ve been lucky enough to spend time with Ron over the last several years. We both belong to a speaker mastermind group called Speak & Spill. Ron has also graciously shared ideas and feedback with me. He’s a solid fellow, but let’s get back to that book.

The following are my takeaways from Think. Do. Say. I highly recommend you pick up a copy for yourself if you work with an agency or marketing firm. The book is full of case studies and examples of how we can improve everything we do by focusing on our beliefs, actions, and communication.

Key Takeaways from Think Do Say

Three pillars of great organizations know:

What they think

What they do

What they say

Your clients don’t know where to look and they don’t know who to trust.

Move from being product-focused to purpose-focused.

Believing isn’t enough. You have to act to reinforce your beliefs.

What you do immediately following an integrity gap will say more about your character than what you did before.

Believe in something more important than your bottom line. 

Answer the following questions

What’s your essential do?

Who do you do it for?

What do they want you to do?

Who do you do it with?

It’s easier to come up with a revolutionary idea to topple the establishment when you’re not a part of it.

Want people to look in your direction? Start solving their real problems before someone else does. 

The first step to innovation is improving the efficiency of what you already do. 

Honesty and transparency lead to trust. And trust leads to momentum. 

True authenticity is being comfortable with your imperfections. 

Something we’ve never seen before will get our attention.

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I wanted to close this blog post with a Julia Child quote (there’s even one in the book). I found the perfect one that sums up Ron and his work, “Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”

One last Julia Child quote because I couldn’t resist, “A party without cake is just a meeting.”

Now go order your copy of Think. Do. Say. You will be glad you did.

Public Speaking Tips You Haven't Heard Before

Do a Google search for “public speaking tips” and you will find 313,000,000 results. I hope I can share a few tips here that you may not be familiar with.

This post came as a result of me doing a recent search for a specific image on Flickr. That’s when I happened upon this photo by the late, great Dave Barger. I hadn’t seen the photo in years. I was surprised to note the photo is from 2008.

I’ve been presenting to audiences for over ten years.

Dave’s photo made me reflective on the lessons I have learned. I’ve presented to audiences in the thousands and in the tens, so I decided to share a few tips I hope you find useful.

Whether you are just getting started as a speaker or you’ve been doing this a long time, I hope these lessons help you.

Public Speaking Tips You Haven’t Heard Before

I always ask conference organizers the following questions, “What does success look like in the minds of your audience?” and “Who are the most popular speakers you have had? What made them stand out?” This information helps me craft my presentation with the audience in mind.

Give the audience a way to get in touch with you after your presentation. Include a slide with your URL/email/phone number/social. Bonus points for leaving them something of value like a digital download of your presentation or cheat sheet with takeaways from your talk. I use a text-to-download service for this*. Anyone who downloads the PDF also gets subscribed to my email newsletter. This is noted before they download the document, so they can choose not to if they prefer.

* If you use such a service and you’re speaking in a different country be sure this will still work.

Always talk to the AV team before your talk. They are there to support you (not work for you). Do a mic and presentation test to be sure everything looks and works the way you expect. Test it from the stage not the AV booth. Don’t rely on a solid Wi-Fi connection. Embed videos if you plan to include them.

Avoid using other peoples' equipment whenever possible. If you must use their equipment, test it ahead of time. For example, the range of the clicker may not be wide enough for you to work the entire stage or move around the floor. 

Get as much information as possible about the audience. The more you know, the better you can make your presentation. 

Research the city. I search the city in Google News to find topics I should mention and perhaps avoid. 

Eat locally. I try to plug a local restaurant or coffee shop I discovered before the event. Audiences appreciate you spending your money locally instead of hiding in your hotel room or going to a chain restaurant. 

Be respectful to the organizers, audience, and other speakers by staying on time. I just bought a small countdown timer to pack along with my gear. Other speakers I know use their watches, iPads, and apps. Keynote and Powerpoint also include a timer if you are presenting with you computer in view.

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I hope these tips will serve you well. Leave a comment with your favorite public speaking tip. I’m always learning, even though I’ve been doing this for a while