Key takeaways from Same Side Selling

Pick up a copy of Same Side Selling.

For the first few years of my adventures in entrepreneurship, I told friends and colleagues that I’m not good at sales. I would explain that my expertise is in marketing and communications, but not sales. Guess what, I was wrong. I had to be.

I had always thought of sales in the worst possible way. I envisioned the cheesy, pushy, used-car sales guy. Or the uppity, asshat in business class on his second cocktail before takeoff.

One day, it dawned on me that if I run my own business and I am not good at sales, I’m in big trouble. If I am my only employee, I had better be damned great at sales or my family will suffer. 

Spoiler alert: You don’t have to be a jerk to excel in sales.

I went out on my own as a consultant and professional trainer and speaker in 2011. I’m happy to report that I have increased my earnings each year. I have become more knowledgable in how best to approach sales, but I don’t consider myself an expert.

One true sales expert I personally know is Ian Altman, co-author (along with Jack Quarles) of Same Side Selling: How Integrity and Collaboration Drive Extraordinary Results for Sellers and Buyers. I absolutely loved the lessons and approach to sales taught in their excellent book. Spoiler alert: You don’t have to be a jerk to excel in sales.

In this short blog post, I’m going to share some key takeaways directly from Same Side Selling. There is much more within the book that you should not miss. Pick up a copy.

Same Side Selling Takeaways

There is an adversarial trap that causes buyers and sellers to work against each other instead of collaborating. Replace this trap with a cooperative, collaborative mindset. 

Selling is not a game because in a game one side wins and the other loses.

Selling is a puzzle. With a puzzle, you are solving. You create something and over time provide value. People sit on the same side to determine if the pieces fit. It’s better to solve puzzles than play games. 

Same side selling is about finding the fit. FIT. Finding Impact Together.

The objective is to be seen as a solver instead of a seller.

Answer the questions:

• Whom do you help?

• What do you do to help them?

• Why do they need your help?

The most successful pitch will resonate with the prospect’s pain.

Find people who not only face problems you can solve, but also recognize those problems and believe they are worth solving.

Focus on the challenges that your client is facing, rather than on the things you are selling. 

Entice. Disarm. Discover.

• Entice. Entice the customer by identifying something you have that might be of interest.

• Disarm. Make it clear that you are not there to sell, but want merely to see if there is a fit. 

• Discover. Trigger a discovery phase in which you learn about them (instead of opening a meeting talking about your stuff). 

The truth is always your ally in same side selling, even when it seems to decrease the likeliness of making a sale. 

Ask who else is affected by this project? How can we engage them in a way that works for you?

Don’t start with your qualifications. Start with the buyer’s problem

Gracefully guide the conversation away from details and toward impact.

It is not the client’s job to see the big picture.

If your price is too high don’t discount. Rather expand the scope to create more value.

What do you think?

How do you handle sales? Are you an expert or a novice? What sales lessons have you learned over the years?

What is the legacy you will leave?

How will you be remembered?

Have you ever thought about what’s going to be in your obituary? Does this sound morbid? Stick with me for a minute. 

When I was a child, I was lucky to spend a few summers attending Kilcoo Camp. While I certainly suffered from feeling homesick, I also made new friends and learned many skills I still use today (I’m not too shabby in a canoe). 

The camp was run by John “Chief” and Peggy “Mrs. Chief” Latimer. I remember many warm moments speaking with Chief and his sons (who run the camp today) about missing home. He was always keen to help me overcome being homesick and made sure I was connecting with the other kids.  

In 2003, Chief sadly passed away. I saw in his obituary that a celebration of his life would be held at St. James Cathedral in Toronto. Everyone in Toronto is familiar with the sound of the bells ringing at St. James; it is one of the largest churches in the city with the biggest peal of bells in North America.

I mention the size of the church because when I arrived for the service, I was shocked (but not surprised) at the number of people present. There were so many people in attendance that they overflowed to the park around the church where the service was amplified through speakers. Chief touched thousands of people’s lives through his work at Kilcoo Camp. His legacy of being a kind, sweet, smart man lives on. 

Thinking about your legacy

I recently watched best-selling novelist Brad Meltzer’s TEDx talk “How To Write Your Own Obituary.” In it, he describes the different types of legacy that you will leave.

Try this exercise for yourself. Write down and separate all of the things you do for yourself versus what you do for other people. Those things for yourself will be the least remembered — your resume will fade. Your legacy is what you do for other people and the impact those actions have on their lives. This very much is in line with my approach to networking, nicely — always find ways to help others. 

Meltzer describes types of legacy.

Personal. You are your parent’s legacy. The way you interact and help your siblings will be remembered. How you raise your children and how you treat your spouse make up your family legacy.

Friends and colleagues. Helping your friends and treating them kindly will play a major role in your legacy. I believe we should find ways to support our friends beyond simple Facebook likes. Reach out over the phone or coffee.

Community. Who will remember your name? The people in your community will remember you for your participation and contributions. What have you done to help the people in your community?

The Business of Expertise

I loved The Business of Expertise How Entrepreneurial Experts Convert Insight to Impact + Wealth. Author, David Baker is brilliant. The content of this book will make you stop to question your brand's positioning as you strive for expertise. As Baker points out, "If you are positioned well, then they find very few substitutes."

The Business of Expertise contains plenty of wisdom and actionable steps you can take to becoming a true expert. He also includes important advice about self-confidence and self-improvement.

Here are some takeaways directly from the book. I highly recommend you pick up a copy for much more wisdom, context, and steps for you to achieve expertise in your space.

25 Takeaways from The Business of Expertise

1. Personal relationships are not about giving in order to get.

2. Good positioning makes you non-interachangable.

3. If you are positioned well, then they find very few substitutes.

4. Expertise blends knowledge with self-awareness of that knowledge.

5. You need to earn your positioning.

6. We gravitate to where we excel.

7. Clients are drawn to confidence.

8. If I find a much lower price than I would expect, I know that they don’t have much confidence.

9. Confidence also comes when we say “no”.

10. You should always have a list with getting to “know” topics on it.

11. People don’t die “doing what they love” unless they love dying.

12. Just doing what you love and making no money does nobody any favors.

13. Just because you are good at something, even enjoy it, doesn’t mean that you are good at making money doing it.

14. Make expertise the addiction.

15. Money is the currency of respect, and the customer of an expert treats the advice more seriously if it comes with a hefty bill.

16. Consultants who interview employees at client engagements look brilliant early in the process.

17. Without strong positioning and the opportunity that stems from effectively applied lead generations, you are stuck with whatever opportunities fall in your lap instead of making your own success.

18. Don’t add additional goals to your life until you decide which ones you’re going to drop. There is as much power in stopping something as there is in starting.

19. Ask yourself “Okay. What is my role in the world?” - ask often.

20. The only two kinds of experts who aren’t generally busy are new to the game or are incompetent.

21. Choose between vertical and horizontal positioning.

22. A great client may bring you new clients through career changes.

23. Positioning is public and must be declared.

24. Clients want to work with experts in demand.

25. You’ll never get discovered and followed unless you’re an expert, but you’ll never be a good expert unless you’re grounded.

Pick up a copy of The Business of Expertise today to dive into the takeaways I shared above.

You Don't Get What You Don't Ask For

Have you ever been afraid to ask for a raise, promotion, new client, or a favor?

You probably have. I’ve faced this fear throughout my career. I believe overcoming this fear is key to success.

I interviewed over fifty entrepreneurs on my former podcast. I’ve listened to the interviews many times to extract lessons for my own business and career. One of the reoccurring points I kept coming across was that we must overcome our unfounded fears.

We must not fear asking because we don’t get what we don’t ask for. 

This doesn't mean we should pester people or solicit them constantly. However, we need to muster up the courage to make the ask. Failure isn’t rejection, failure is not asking in the first place.

I recently went through a process of reviewing all of my 3,000-plus Facebook friends. Obviously, most aren’t close friends at all, some I don’t even know.

Evolutionary anthropologist, Robin Dunbar, concluded we can only manage up to 150 friendships. This breaks down as 50 people who are close friends and just 15 who are our closest friends. 

It's interesting to note that these friends can often drift in and out of different groups within this number. His study is famously known as “Dunbar Number”.

Last year, I composed a Facebook message and began asking each person who I considered a friend to help me promote my Communication Mastery workshops. And guess what, most of them happily did. Only one person declined. By asking my friends to help me spread the word, I had hoped my message would spread to new people who may become clients. Side note, this is also a good exercise to realize who your true friends are, they are the ones who are happy to help you.

I am thankful my friends came to the plate to help me spread the word. They likely wouldn’t have had I not asked. I can’t say with certainty that new clients came as a result. However, I did see a substantial increase in visits to the workshop page as my friends helped promote it across social media.

I wasn’t offended when one friend declined to help me. As I mentioned above, failure isn’t rejection, failure is not asking in the first place.

Instead of asking yourself what will happen if I ask? Ask yourself, what will happen if I don’t ask? 

There’s a Purple Cow on this Flight

Have you ever gazed out of a car window as you traveled along a long country road? Did you see cows along the way? Probably. Did you note anything special about our bovine friends? Probably not. Why not? Because cows are boring*. 

Now what if you drove along that road and suddenly saw a purple cow? Whoa! Now that’s worth talking about, right? 

Seth Godin is Marketing Yoda

Seth Godin is a powerhouse in the world of marketing, he is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, and speaker. Google “Seth” and he’s sure to be the first result. I heard him referred to as the “marketing Yoda” on a podcast recently, Godin quickly added that he’s better looking than Yoda. I concur. 

I’m writing this on a flight home to Nashville from a speaking engagement in Yuma, AZ. Yuma is a three-hour drive from the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. I didn’t see any purple cows to and from Yuma, with the exception of my copy of Godin’s best-selling book, Purple Cow - Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable. I had read the book many years ago, but the information didn’t sink into my thick head at the time. I remember enjoying it, but it wasn’t as relevant at that juncture in my career.

My flights to and from Phoenix gave me plenty of time to re-read Godin’s inspirational book. This time, his words left me filled with ideas to implement for my business. The following are twenty-five takeaways from Purple Cow. There is obviously much more to the book, it is a must-read for business leaders from small organizations to large companies.

25 Takeaways from Purple Cow

1. It’s cheaper to keep an old customer than it is to get a new one.

2. The leader is the leader because he did something remarkable.

3. It’s safer to be risky.

4. (Make your service) easy to talk about and easy to demonstrate.

5. The way you break through to the mainstream is to target a niche instead of a huge market. With a niche, you can segment off a chunk of the mainstream, and create an idea virus so focused that it overwhelms that small slice of the market that really and truly will respond to what you sell.

6. Services that are worth talking about get talked about.

7. Your ads (and products) should cater to the customers you’d choose if you could choose your customers. 

8. Criticism comes to those who stand out.

9. Being safe is risky.

10. Boring always leads to failure.

11. Make a list of ways you can catch up by being different.

12. Measurement means admitting what’s broken so you can fix it.

13. If you measure it, it will improve. 

14. (You) have a lot to gain by changing the rules of the game.

15. They’re not trying to interrupt strangers; they’re selling to the converted (Pearl Jam).

16. Otaku is the desire to find out everything about something.

17. Smart businesses target markets where there’s already otaku.

18. Go for the edges. Sketch out where your edges are…and where your competition is.

19. Discover the fringes that make your competitors’ products remarkable.

20. Find your positioning statement.

21. You can’t build a fast-growing company around vanilla.

22. Are you obsessed or just making a living? 

23. The number-one question about the Purple Cow is, “How do I know it’s remarkable.”

24. Instead of selling what we wanted to sell, we sold what people wanted us to sell, and then figured out how to make money doing it.

25. It’s not about being weird. It’s about being irresistible to a tiny group of easily reached sneezers** with otaku. Irresistible (for the right niche) is just remarkable.

Have you read Purple Cow? Did you act on what you learned? If so, what were the results? 

* I apologize to any normal cows reading this. 
** You’ll have to read Purple Cow to find out what a sneezer is (not as gross as you think). 

Building a Story Brand

I’m finally getting around to sharing what I learned in Donald Miller’s Building a Story Brand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen. I’ve heard great things about this book from multiply friends since it’s publishing in 2017. I finally read the book late last year and it did not disappoint. It led me to rethink many of the aspects of my own brand. Who the hell is Dave Delaney? As Miller writes, “If you confuse, you lose.”

In order to understand and create your brand you must have a clear story. In a story, audiences must always know who the hero is, what the hero wants, who the hero has to defeat to get what they want.

Take my communication workshops for example. The Hero is the person who hires me for a workshop, usually the CEO, COO, or HR Director. The Hero wants to improve his or her workplace culture by improving communication. The Hero is trying to defeat a potential toxic work environment and employee churn because both are costly concerns.

Customers don’t typically care about your story; they care about their own. Customers buy solutions to internal problems. By talking about the problems our customers face, we deepen their interest in everything we offer.

When we fail to define something our customer want, we fail to open a “story gap” with a single focus. We must define a specific desire and become known for helping people achieve it. That’s certainly what I am working on.

The specific desire for my clients is to improve communication. The Master Communicator’s Secret Weapon is my keynote presentation designed to help audiences use my advice to help them achieve their desire.

Miller writes, “When we frame our products as a resolution to both external and internal problems we increase the perceived value.” For example, part of what I teach is how to improve listening and how to lead with acceptance. Doing this in the workplace improves employee morale. Doing this outside with prospects, clients, and even friends and family improves sales and life in general.

Miller points out that, “A brand that positions itself as the hero is destined to lose.” This isn’t about me. It’s about you and helping you achieve success with your team. My brand is the guide that will help you. I truly care about helping you and your people. Miller reminds us that to succeed we must care.

Talk about the end vision. For what I do, it’s leaving you with a team who are better connected, listening more effectively, open to change, thinking quickly on their feet, leading with acceptance, becoming empathetic, and ultimately reducing employee churn by improving your company culture and overall communication.

Donald Miller writes about the importance of clearly defining the steps your hero needs to make in order to do business with you. He explains, at least three steps and no more than six.

For me it’s scheduling an introductory call. Speaking with me, so I can learn more about your needs. Determining the time and date of the workshop. I facilitate the workshop and you see the results. Boom, four simple steps.

I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Donald Miller’s Building a Story Brand for your own business. I found the lessons within to be exceptionally helpful. I also recommend you subscribe to Miller’s podcast for more insights and interviews with branding thought-leaders.

Why Start a Podcast?

The question isn’t, “How should I start a podcast?” It’s ”Why do I want to start a podcast?”

Over the holidays, I spoke with a friend who was excited about launching a podcast in the new year. He had reached out because of my knowledge of the medium from over thirteen years of producing and listening to podcasts. I started my first podcast in 2005.

Rather than jumping into software, hardware, and marketing recommendations, I asked him why he wanted to start a podcast. He explained that he wanted to use it to promote his clients by interviewing them. I asked him what excited him about podcasting and he admitted, nothing much. He wanted to create a podcast because so many others were. It seemed like the right thing to do. 

Podcasting is popular these days, 26% of Americans listen to podcasts monthly. He thought it would be a great way to build his brand and promote his clients. I asked him if his customers listen to podcasts, he wasn’t sure. 

A podcast is a labor of love (or you have a team)

A podcast is much more work than many people realize. There are two ways to handle this. The first is to commit yourself to many hours of work. Here is a breakdown of what you will be spending your time on for an interview-type show.

• Purchase necessary equipment like a good microphone, headset, and software. 

• Develop the marketing plan for the show. Commit to a publishing frequency like one new episode every Monday. 

• Create or outsource theme music.

• Create or outsource album art. 

• Submit the podcast to directories like Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Soundcloud, Google Podcasts, and new editions like Audible, Pandora, and Spotify. 

• Outreach to your potential guests. Plan for back-and-forth emails to schedule time for each interview. 

• Guest research and show preparation like writing questions. 

• Conduct the actual interviews. 

• Edit interviews and produce each episode. 

• Upload episode file to hosting service. 

• Create a corresponding blog post with show notes for each episode. 

• Promote each new episode and blog post across social media channels and to email newsletter.

• Create social media channels and email newsletter if you don’t already have these.

• Consider purchasing ads online to get more listeners.

• Beg your listeners for iTunes reviews. 

It’s going to cost you time and money

The second option is to outsource the work. This can cost hundreds of dollars per episode. I asked my friend about the budget he was willing to allocate to his podcast. Either way, it would cost him time and money. 

My friend’s idea was to create a podcast to feature interviews with his clients. I asked how his guests would perform in the interviews? Would they be entertaining, inspiring, or helpful to his listeners? He doubted it. He confessed that some might actually sound terrible. 

How would he expect to gain listeners of his podcast if the content wasn’t enjoyable to the listener? In fact, it might actually do a disservice to his clients if they come across inarticulate or standoffish. Plus, if he only gains a few listeners, how will this serve his clients?

I could sense his nodding head over the phone. My honest feedback might have come across a little blunt, but I know I was saving him time and money - that’s what friends are for. 

How about this instead?

I proposed a different idea to reach the same results he strived for: feature his clients and build his brand. Interview his guests via email and feature those interviews on his blog. This would take little time because his clients would provide the bulk of the content by answering his questions. In addition, his clients would likely share their interview with their friends, fans, and followers. This would strengthen his brand and introduce his business to new prospects.  Win-win. 

Are you thinking about starting a podcast this year? Start by asking yourself why. Consider the work it will take and whether there is an easier way to achieve the same results. If you decide a podcast is the right decision, I wish you the best of luck with your show. Send me the link, I would love to check out your podcast.

I am passionate about podcasting, I’ve been doing it on and off since 2005. I am also passionate about helping my clients and friends make the right decisions. By all means, start a podcast, but begin by asking. Why?

Read For New Business

One of the biggest challenges for any consultant is business development. I would be lying if I said my business was booming - always. I’ve written about the big business lie we tell one another before. Business isn’t always great sometimes it’s actually terrible. 

I recently picked up a copy of How Clients Buy: A Practical Guide to Business Development for Consulting and Professional Services by Tom McMakin and Doug Fletcher. I literally found the book on the shelf at the airport and purchased a copy. I usually buy books or get sent books that come recommended to me but the title resonated with me, so I coughed up some cash and dug right in.

The following are my key takeaways directly from How Clients Buy:

It’s crucial that we recognize the seven elements of how clients buy. They have to be aware of your existence. They come to understand what you do and how you’re unique. They develop an interest. They respect your work and are filled with confidence that you can help them. They trust you. They have the ability to pull the trigger. They are ready to do something.

In professional services, we are the product. The biggest challenge in our path to become rainmakers is to unlearn what we think we already know. 

If you want to be remembered, you must find a category where you can be number one. You have to know who you want to serve. Identify the type of company but also the role inside the company who you help. When selling consulting or professional services, the goal is not to identify prospects and process them like corn flakes; it is to identify a community and position ourselves to serve it over time. Prospective clients cannot engage with us unless they know us. Niche yourself and then re-niche yourself over time. 

Create a point of differentiation. When there’s a really clear association in your mind between a person that you trust and the problem that they can solve, it makes it easier to refer you.

Great client relationships are built over time on foundations of trust and are not, by definition, transactional. Respect trumps charm when it comes to most buying decisions for consulting and professional services. Instead of focusing on like in “know, like and trust” focus on respect. They have to know, respect and trust you. 

Clients have to conclude that: What you do is relevant to them and their goals. You have to solve a problem, support a strategic initiative, or promote an organizational agenda that is on their plate. The goal is to be a problem solver. If you can tell them a solution before they recognize they have a problem they need, you are best positioned to win the business.

New business comes from three places: repeat, recommendations, new clients with no relationship. Always start with your current or past clients.

A high-return opportunity with very low risk will attract attention. Dedicate time every day to building genuine relationships with clients and prospective clients. Never underestimate the value of networking and the value of your network. 

The secret to business development is to ask lots of questions. Start from a place of empathy. No one ever needs a consultant until they do.

There are many actionable ideas you will learn in How Clients Buy. I highly recommend you pick up a copy now and dig right in.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Waves

Picture deep, dark, waves violently bashing up and down endlessly. This is often how an entrepreneurial journey feels. The waves can be exhausting and dangerous. They can appear like there is no end in sight. 

Zoom out of the picture slowly. The color of the waves is transforming from navy blue to aquamarine. The waves are settling down now as you realize you are not looking deep into an ocean, instead, it is a wave pool at a waterpark. 

These two scenarios sum up entrepreneurship. Some weeks are filled with threatening waves and others are the fun ones you can splash around in. These different waves can appear within the same hour too. Step back and realize you are in a wave pool more often than you think.

Treat entrepreneurship like a visit to a waterpark

When you research and plan the waterslides you most want to ride, you are more likely to achieve these goals. Start with a plan.

Instead of waiting and waiting, show up early to beat the crowds. There will always be other people visiting the park.

Don't judge people. Observe the terrible tattoos and realize everybody makes bad decisions.

As the day goes on, the lines grow longer. If you find yourself at the end of one, refrain from staring up in envy to those at the top. They waited just as long as you did.

Understand that you might not be able to ride every waterslide. You can return another day. In fact, if you travel a little you might discover an even better waterpark waiting for you.

Reward yourself for your hard work by grabbing a tube and floating along the lazy river. You have earned it.

The next time you feel that you are in too deep, take some steps back. Decide what you should do by analyzing the situation. Are you lost, floating in the ocean on the verge of drowning? Or are you in a wave pool? I bet you will find you are in the waterpark far more often than you think.

Make no mistake, you will get wet on this ride.

Photo from Flickr by Cristiano Palese.

12 Tips You Might Not Know About Running a Winning Business

One of the first of many valuable tips in Andy Bailey's book, No Try Only Do: Building A Business On Purpose, Alignment, And Accountability is to seek guidance and advice for your business. I expect you will agree if you are a busy owner or leader of a business or department.

I recently spent some time with the author, CEO, and founder of Petra Coach. Bailey shared his story with me and gave me invaluable advice for my business, Futureforth. He also handed me a copy of his book filled with professional wisdom to help business owners.

Twelve Key Takeaways from “No Try Only Do” 

1. You must want to change. You have to know that where you are is not where you need to be for change to occur. Bailey urges his readers to “suck up your pride and get out of your own way.” It’s true that we all fall guilty of thinking we know what’s best all of the time. This simply isn’t always true, so learning from mentors and peers will help change yourself and your businesses. 

2. Create a one-page strategic plan and list your quarterly priorities. Stick this on your wall in your office. 

3. Determine what your Core Purpose for your business is. Who do you serve? What will they gain from working with you? Then add your Core Values. Begin by asking, “What is the purpose of your organization? Why does your company exist?”

4. Create a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) and set a date in the future when you will reach that goal. Bailey uses +10Mhm in his LinkedIn profile summary and email signature. This represents his goal of having a positive impact on ten million people. His previous BHAG was +10Khm which he reached. Anything is possible.

5. Hold a daily huddle with yourself. Write down your top priorities each day and recap the previous day. Create a weekly accountability report. Review these at the end of each quarter. Consider what lessons you have learned. Where were your biggest wins and biggest failures?

6. Money is something you can either spend wastefully or use strategically to build wealth.

7. Keep an Evernote list of people you have met whom you would call “A-Players”. These are people you wish to get to know better. Refer to this list and promote what these individuals create. Keep in touch with them.

8. Use handwritten Thank You notes. A physical note goes a long way in a digital world. 

9. Remember the value of being personable and ensuring you appreciate who you work with and who works for you.

10. To grow, you need to produce more time. Hiring interns and staff and outsourcing jobs will help you achieve this. 

11. Let go of things in order to grow. 

12. Create a plan and outline what you want to accomplish in a ten-year period for your business. Break that plan down to determine how you will reach each goal. Work backward to discover what it will take to make it work. 

Follow the steps above, and as the book subtitle reads, “you will build a business on purpose, alignment, and accountability.”

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash.

Improv Workshops for Business

I recently conducted one of my Communication Mastery improv workshops for a technology company. The business had specific goals to use the workshop to help build stronger employee relationships and to work together better.

I developed my workshops focusing on using improv to improve workplace culture and communication. The idea to take a group of co-workers out of the office and away from their computers to play physical games can sound wild, but hear me out, because the results are astounding.

Try these improv exercises with your team

The skills and lessons learned from improv are vast and essential to anyone dealing with other people in their lives - so everyone.

Count to 20

One exercise involves standing the group in a circle. With their eyes closed and heads down they are tasked with counting to 20. Sounds easy? Not quite, because each person who calls the next number randomly chooses to do it.

With eyes closed and nobody saying "one," the exercise can't proceed. Someone needs to muster up the courage to call the first number. Then someone else must call the next number and so on. The kicker is the number resets to one each time two people call the same number at once.

This exercise is a fun warm up. It teaches participants to work together as a team, to listen intently, and to be leaders by being courageous enough to call the next number. They must work together to get to 20 to succeed.

Improv is filled with these types of lessons. Teams become stronger by working together on different exercises customized to help them achieve their goals. I always poll my clients ahead of time, so I know their challenges and can customize my program to meet their goals.

The New Boss

One of my favorite activities is New Boss. Participants run through some warm-ups where they learn to speak together as one person. Two people are paired up to become a single person, the "new boss." Everyone else is an employee who can ask random questions. The new boss must mouth and speak their answers slowly and in stereo in order to sound coherent.

This exercise teaches listening skills because they must listen to the sounds of the words as they are spoken. They also have to learn to accept the other person's choice, because one single person may not be able to answer the question as they would have otherwise wanted to.

Improv teaches us to listen more effectively, to be team players, to be empathetic and accepting of our colleagues. It also allows us to have fun together. The laughter is my greatest reward as I teach teams how to improve communication with each other and externally.

Try improv games with your colleagues. I am certain your teams will learn new skills, improve the ones they already have, and ultimately have fun doing it. Here’s a quick look at some feedback I’ve received from my workshops.

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Ramble on Success

I think I'm wiser from every failure. Every diet I've tried, every attempt at mindfulness and meditation, every new habit that has failed. I am too hard on myself each time I quit or fail.

I'm not unhealthy. I'm not stressed to the point of sleeplessness or suicidal thoughts. I can relax, I can breathe deeply, I can organize my day and stick with each task until completion.

I've learned these things from my sometimes feeble attempts. I understand what's needed to accomplish items when I aim to, I simply choose not too.

I choose not to stretch multiple times a day. I choose not to exercise. I choose not to work on the proposal, or plan, or manuscript. It's not you, it's me. My own worst enemy, they say.

I'm learning each day I procrastinate. I learn because I read the articles and books, I listen to the experts telling me what I must do to succeed.

Luck & Chance

We don't get their full, truthful transparency. We get the vision of excellence designed by the experts' marketing and publicity teams. We don't see their actual successes that actually fund their journey into expertise. Or maybe we do, but that's not the sexy part of the story. We don't hear about the luck and chance that got them to where they are today. Because so much is about this - luck and chance.

I can't rely exclusively on luck and chance though. Nobody should. But making attempts to improve myself gets me closer to the luck, closer to that chance encounter. Trying and failing gets me closer to the success I long for. And that success isn't the Ferrari or fancy home. It's extended vacations with my family. It's the peace of mind that the house has been paid for. It's knowing that the kids can go to college without the massive debt they should otherwise expect. It's having Heather home with me and traveling to my speaking engagements. It's knowing that our retirement savings are secure and ready for us to unplug from the day-to-day. A house on a lake with a wood-burning fireplace. Maybe a hot tub too. 

What is Success?

Having these visions alone is a success. Most people don't envision what their success looks like. Waiting in the car, in the fall sun, writing this as I wait for the kids is success. Happy, healthy, smart, silly kids... our success. Excited to see Heather when she gets home from work. Success. Leaving to Chicago for Google, success. Leaving to Louisville for my own engagement, success. Running my own business with wonderful clients, success. Writing and having my book published, success. 

Take a minute to consider what your success looks like. Now consider all of your successes to date. You're more successful than you think.

I'm 45. I'm just getting started. 

Improv Will Help Your Company

Picture a six-year-old boy standing on a stage in front of an audience. The school production is of Little Red Riding Hood. The little boy stands erect, his arms spread out on each side, facing stage left and stage right. He's wearing Buster Brown shoes, brown corduroy slacks, and a forest green colored turtleneck shirt.

At an earlier date, the boy was to play the woodsman, who would rescue Little Red Riding Hood in her moment of wolf-related terror. He had trouble paying attention in class and was considered the class clown. One too many antics led to his demotion from playing the courageous hero to becoming a background actor as a boring, old tree.

His direction was simple. The replacement woodsman would act as he was chopping the tree (played by the boy) when suddenly he would hear Little Red Riding Hood's screams for help. He would take one final swing of his ax into the tree, and run off stage to her rescue. The tree, would simple tilt to the left as if slightly cut from the ax. The lights would go to black and the scene would end. That was the only action the boy would have in the play.

The proud parents in the audience were enjoying the children in the performance that evening. Everything was going as planned until the scene with the tree and the woodsman. When the woodsman heard Red's cries for help, he swung his ax one final time, only something unexpected happened. The tree tilted forward instead of to its side. The boy, standing erect, fell forward to land flat on his chest in the center of the stage. He probably yelled, "Timber!" in his mind as he slammed down onto the stage. The audience roared together in a moment of absolute hysterical laughter. The only face in the audience not laughing was the angry teacher, who directed the performance. Her punishment of the class clown had backfired. The boy's improvised fallen tree scene stole the show.

That boy was me.

I have always had a love for comedy and performance. This is why I bring humor into my presentations and workshops. I've seen presentations on similar topics that I speak on which lacked humor and ended up being dry and dull. I always aim to get the audience laughing as I present, so we all have fun together.

Improving with Improv

Back when I lived in Toronto, I studied and graduated from The Second City's improv training program. If you're not familiar with improv, picture the TV show, "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

I went on to perform improv in Canada, England, Scotland, and Ireland. In fact, when I lived in Galway, Ireland, I founded an improv troupe. We performed every Thursday night at a local wine bar, and I also provided corporate improv training.

When Hubspot hired me to speak at their Inbound Conference a couple of years ago, I decided to create a new presentation entitled, "Improve with Improv". I've included the twelve-minute video below for your viewing pleasure. I wanted to share how I apply some of the key lessons from improv to my everyday life, so that others can too.

After Inbound, I was craving to perform improv again. So, I auditioned to join the Nashville Improv Company. To my happy surprise (and Heather's shock), I was accepted as a cast member! For the last year, I've been performing improv every month or so. It's been wonderful to tap back into a deep passion of mine.

My consultancy, Futureforth, is all about helping others learn how to use digital marketing for their businesses. What I didn't really consider until recently was the fact that what I do is all about communication. In fact, I did the famous Strengths Finder personality assessment and discovered my top strength is - communication (followed by consistency, woo, activator and harmony).

Being a solopreneur means working alone most days - not by choice, it's just how it is. My favorite moments are spent with my clients and audiences in-person. This got me thinking about how I could offer something new to help my clients improve their communication.

Light bulb moment. Improv!

There are countless articles about how improv training can help companies improve their communication, employee morale and retention, culture, listening and presentation skills, plus… it's a heck of a lot of fun to spend half a day (or a full day) away from your computer and playing with your colleagues.

If you want to improve your business, I have no doubt that improv will help. I want to prove this to you by coming to your office and providing your team with a fun-filled morning or afternoon of improv exercises. 

I'm calling this my Communication Reboot. Let's talk about how I can help you use improv to improve your business today. Hit contact and let's chat.

Setting and Achieving Your Goals with Overlap

Imagine yourself in a car at night, driving down a long, barren road with flat empty fields along both sides. You have been driving for many hours, and you have no idea where you are headed, or if you will ever reach your destination. You don't know this because you never decided where you are going. You are just driving with no plan.

You might be enjoying the feeling you get from the freedom of the open road. However, eventually, you will begin to get frustrated and feel stressed by the uncertainty of not knowing where you are going.

Setting yourself personal and professional goals will help you set and reach your destination. If you have no goals you will eventually run out of gas along the side of that barren road.

Don't quit your day job.

I was reminded of the importance of goals as I read Sean McCabe's new book, Overlap: The Ultimate Guide to Turning Your Side Passion Into a Successful Business. McCabe is an entrepreneur who has had several successful businesses over his career. We met in-person at Jeff Goins' Tribe Conference recently and spoke more about his book. He wrote it to encourage readers to go after what they truly want to do professionally. He doesn't preach what others do about quitting your day job. Instead, he encourages you to carve out time to work on a side business that can bring you joy and reward you financially. This all begins and ends with the goals you set for yourself.

In Overlap, McCabe describes his own goal of writing the book and how he completed it in just one month. He describes his process of writing 80,000 words over two weeks. McCabe includes a clever strategy to help readers set and reach their goals.

A strategy to achieve your goals.

Begin by creating a long list of all of your life goals. McCabe recommends determining which of the goals on your list will have the biggest impact on your life if accomplished in one year. He then says to start a new list and write that one goal on the top of the page. Follow this with twenty bulleted items that will get you to accomplish that goal. Dedicate one day for each item and repeat this for twenty days. 

I would add that you might need some extra time on some of the items, but you will be surprised how little time it actually takes to complete them when you write them down. It also helps to reconsider watching YouTube and Netflix during this period because focus is key.

McCabe writes, "Successful people know what they want, and they invest every ounce of their energy in going after that one thing. You can achieve many great things in life, but you can achieve only one truly great thing at a time. If you try to pursue many goals at once, you will not succeed at any of them." He adds that you should visualize achieving your goal. He says to, see it, actualize it, and internalize the fact that it will happen. Never feel you have failed to reach your goal, just that you haven't achieved it yet.

Make an on-going list of what is effecting you positively and what's doing so negatively. Doing this will help you understand what is slowing you down from achieving your goal and what is helping.

Communicate your goals.

A key message in Overlap is to communicate your goal every day to everyone in your life. Make them associate you with the goal you plan to accomplish. It needs to be on their minds when they think of you. You can even add the people in your life to your list. Some will support you all the way, while others may try to talk you out of it or even speak negatively of your goal.

McCabe writes, "If the people in your life don't know what your goal is they can't help you achieve it." He goes on to remind his readers that we need to know the goals our friends have and do our best to support them as well. As I always say, networking is a two-way street.

Why not pull your imaginary car over right now? Fire up Google Maps or grab the old Rand McNally from the glove box. Choose your destination. You are far more likely to make your journey a success when you know where you want to arrive.

Leave a comment with your goal. Maybe we can help you get there.

Beware the Employment Sunk Cost Fallacy

I was a sucker... or I was suckered.

Heather and I were planning to get married. It was time for me to get a grown-up job. I didn't know enough about networking yet, so I applied on job websites. I spent countless hours submitting my resume and writing cover letters for entry-level marketing jobs. 

I was getting desperate when I finally got a call for an interview. The company was situated in a swanky office off Bay Street in downtown Toronto. Bay St. is similar to Wall St. in New York, picture skyscrapers and suit and ties everywhere. Not really my bag, but I wanted a decent job. 

The Worst Job I Have Ever Had

The company specialized in creating high-priced, industry-specific summits. These summits would bring together representatives from many businesses for sales and marketing workshops and presentations. Each summit would be hosted at an exotic location that would normally include views of an ocean and golf course. There was only one catch I wasn't aware of, the summits didn't exist.

On my first day of work, I was placed in a cubicle with a computer, headset, and script. Some of the days were spent researching businesses to pitch the summits to. The other part of the day was me on the phone, carefully following my script, attempting to convince the business owner that he or she shouldn't miss such a valuable opportunity. 

The bell (yes, an actual bell) rang occasionally and a co-worker's name was written on the whiteboard walls. Everyone would scream in congratulatory excitement. My first sale couldn't be far behind, but it was. In fact, my first sale never came. After a couple of weeks, I was getting desperate because the job was commission based only, which meant if I didn't make a sale, I wouldn't get a paycheck.

They promised I would earn huge commissions off each summit sold, but I needed to make a sale first. Each night, I would sheepishly arrive home empty-handed and depressed.

This type of business relies on what phycologists call the Sunk Cost Fallacy. David McRaney's definition from You Are Not So Smart nails it perfectly.

The Sunk Cost Fallacy

"The Sunk Cost Fallacy. The Misconception: You make rational decisions based on the future value of objects, investments, and experiences. The Truth: Your decisions are tainted by the emotional investments you accumulate, and the more you invest in something the harder it becomes to abandon it."

I kept showing up because I had become too invested and embarrassed to make my experience there a failure. I finally reached my wit's end when I learned the summits didn't actually exist.

They explained they would create the summit only when enough tickets were sold in advance. The kicker was if a person purchased a ticket and there were not enough sales, the purchase was non-refundable. Their "investment" could be used for a future summit instead. This was the worst job I ever had, but I learned a few valuable lessons.

Research companies before you apply.  

Don't be fooled by fancy offices and fast talking sales types.

Don't depend solely on commissions. 

I learned the hard way and share this with you here because these types of businesses exist in every city. Be careful out there if you are looking for a job.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I had a colleague reach out to me to ask whether she should continue as a self-employed marketing consultant or become an employee. Here was my advice. 

Ask yourself what you want to do most. Do you want stability but give up some freedom for it, or would you prefer potentially more reward but also more chaos? Working for yourself is always a bit chaotic and stressful (trust me, I know). So it's key to decide which lifestyle you prefer. If you choose employment, remember there are always options to work on a side hustle. ;)

Entrepreneurship or Employment

Entrepreneurship is wonderful and hellish at the same time. It is important to understand that there is nothing wrong with working as an employee. I did this for most of my career. I feel better for having done it, because I learned so much about how a business is run, and how to correct common problems and concerns that aren't visible to the outside world. 

As simple as this may sound, create two Pros and Cons lists. One for working for yourself and one for an employer. Do this on paper with a coffee (or stiffer drink). Close your computer. Put your phone in airplane mode. Don't get back online until you have completed both lists. 

I bet you'll see your answer right in front of you.

Now here's some music to help you work on your decision...

I Am Not a Gardener

For the last three years the spot where my lawn used to be has featured a pile of dirt and weeds. The closest I got to receiving “Yard of the Month” was when the sign blew over to my yard from my neighbor’s lush garden. I figured it would be an act of God before I would ever win that thing.

Each year I have tried in vain to regrow my lawn. I have purchased seed, soil, a manual push aerator, a mechanical aerator (which was really embarrassing to try to operate). 

After seeding my lawn, I would spend mornings dodging my poorly positioned sprinkler. I would drag it from spot to spot with the hose kinked, leaving me just enough time to hop out of its way before the water would angrily explode out of the end. Most of my attempts would leave me damp and sometimes downright soaked. 

Last fall, I decided to bite the bullet and hire a lawn service. Guess what happened… my lawn returned. I thought it was a lost cause but it was me who was the lost cause. I had to accept that I am not a gardener. 

“I AM NOT A GARDENER.”

This morning, I stood in the middle of my yard in awe at my success (albeit hired success). The cool, fresh grass shot up between my toes. I proudly stared around my gloriously green yard. It’s really rather magnificent. 

This dreadfully domestic moment helped me remember that I am not an expert in everything. As I approach my forty-fifth birthday, I now understand there are perfectly acceptable occasions to hire a professional. 

Back in January, I came to a similar realization when I hired a designer to create a logo, typeface and color palette for a project. It felt so good to see her handy-work and realize that I never could have produced something so good - no matter how much I watered and seeded it. 

It's funny how you learn a few things as you get older.

How to Book Yourself Solid

I have had the good fortune of spending time with best-selling author, speaker trainer, and keynote speaker Michael Port. He is a warm, wise, and sincere guy - my kind of people! 

I recently read and loved his best-selling book, Book Yourself Solid: The Fastest, Easiest, and Most Reliable System for Getting More Clients Than You Can Handle Even if You Hate Marketing and Selling. I have already seen an increase in new consulting clients as a result of reading and working through the excerises in his book.

Here are some of my takeaways from Book Yourself Solid. I encourage you to pick up a copy and dig right in today.

17 Takeaways From Book Yourself Solid

• You are the company you keep. 

I've read this in many of my favorite business and self-help-type books. It's true. Choose your friends wisely. Ditch them if they don't support you.

• Your ideal clients are those individuals who energize and inspire you. 

This is why I typically work with small business owners and teams. It always seems like small businesses are the most passionate about the work they do. That passion always gets me excited to serve them.

• Being everything to everyone just isn't possible. 

I'm guilty of trying to please all of the people all of the time - in the past. Michael serves his readers a good reminder of why this doesn't work.

• It’s much easier to carve out a very lucrative domain for yourself once you’ve identified a specific target market. 

This is something I have been doing with NetworkingForNicePeople.com. I wrote my book all about networking, so I have returned to the topic to teach and build a community. My target market is anyone who wants to jumpstart their career or grow their business. 

• If your potential clients are going to purchase your services and products, they must see them as investable opportunities; they must feel that the return they receive is greater than the investment they made.

• The secret to having a successful business is to know what your clients want and deliver it. 

• People buy results and the benefits of those results. So think about the solutions you offer and the subsequent results and benefits they provide.

• View yourself as a leader in your client’s life.

• Your brand is about making yourself known for your skills and talents. More than that — your brand is about what you stand for.

• Establish an advisory board.

I'm finally in the process of making this happen officially in a private mastermind. 

• Read one book a month.

You'll know I did this from reading these mini book-report posts.

• When you have made the effort to speak and write directly to your ideal client, he’ll feel it.

• Perform daily tasks that will keep your name in front of potential clients.

I do this with my writing here, at Networking For Nice People, in my email newsletters, and in my column in The Tennessean. I also use a CRM to remind me to check-in with clients and follow-up. 

• From a practical perspective there may be two simple reasons why you don’t have as many clients as you’d like: Either you don’t know what to do to attract and secure more clients; or You know what to do but you’re not actually doing it.

Guilty as charged with not doing what I knew I needed to be doing. I'm getting better at holding myself accountable, though. The photos of my family in my office help keep me focused. 

• Each day, introduce two people within your network who do not yet know each other but you think might benefit from knowing each other. 

I do this with my Daily Goals Worksheet. You can grab a copy here. 

• Start by choosing one day of the week that you can focus on where and when you could be asking for referrals.

• Instead of focusing on what I do, focus on what I can do for my clients.

Get a Copy of Book Yourself Solid

I pulled each of these quotes from Michael Port's valuable book because they stood out to me. I expect many (if not all) will stand out to you too.

Book Yourself Solid is a must-read book to help you grow your business. Michael Port is definitely somebody you should be following. 
 

Networking For Nice People

Do you remember John Hughes’ movies from the 1980s and 1990s? The plot often included two best friends seeking love from impossible partners. SPOILER ALERT. The climax of the films often resulted in the two friends realizing it was each other who they loved all along. I love a happy ending too.

For the last year, I have bounced around a bunch of different topics to write about and explore. The subjects include: relationships, personal branding, entrepreneurship, social media, content marketing, creativity, and all of these things come back to one main passion - networking. You know I hate cheesy networking tactics and events. I believe in the true power of connection as a result of networking well - as nice people.

It has been three years since my book, New Business Networking, came out. I continue to speak and train people on how to become better networkers. We all need networking in our lives.

If you have a fledgling start-up and you need customers or investors… you need networking.
If you are a student (or parent of a student) trying to jumpstart your career… you need networking.
If you are a professional who is seeking a career change or reinvention… you need networking.
If you are between jobs after a layoff… you need networking.

INTRODUCING NETWORKING FOR NICE PEOPLE

One of my goals for 2017 is to build a brand new community around the topic of networking called Networking For Nice People. I have written a manifesto about what networking means to me. I invite you to come and take a look. You will also find a new email newsletter to send you one quick and valuable networking tip each Monday and Friday. Drop over now to check it out.

How to Become a Better Writer

Happy 2017. Are you ready to become a better writer?

In order to build and grow your personal brand you must create content online that people can discover. It is this content that will tell the reader more about you, your products and your services. We write articles, proposals, blog posts, emails, Facebook updates, tweets and more every day. We are all writers.

One of my resolutions is to become a better writer this year. I decided to re-read Ann Handley's wonderful book, "Everybody Writes: Your Go-To Guide to Creating Ridiculously Good Content." Whether you are a scribbler or a scribe, a poet or an editor, there is something in Handley's book for all.

The following are quotes from the book that will leave you inspired and ready to improve your own writing this year.

20 ways to become a better writer

1. Write with economy and style and honest empathy for your reader.
2. If you stripped your branding from all your properties and lined up your words alongside a competitor's, would you recognize yourself? Would you stand out?
3. Whenever possible, specify geranium instead of flower.
4. Utility x Inspiration x Empathy = Quality Content.
5. Writing is a habit, not an art. Set aside time each day when you're freshest.
6. Put the needs of your audience first.
7. Every bit of content you create should be to please the customer or prospect — not your boss or client.
8. Start with empathy. Continue with utility. Improve with analytics. Optimize with love.
9. The first words of every sentence should make a friendly first impression to encourage the reader to keep going.
10. The primary idea — the important words — should be placed at the beginning.
11.  Anything you write should always be aligned with a larger (business or marketing) goal — even an individual blog post.
12. Reframe the idea to relate it to your readers.
13. The more personal you are, the more universal you become.
14. Write to one person.
15. If you get stuck, think about what's sticking. Do you need more research? More examples? Another point?
16. Good writing serves the reader, not the writer. It isn't self-indulgent. Good writing anticipates the questions that readers might have as they're reading a piece, and it answers them.
17. Empathy for the customer experience should be at the root of all of your content.
18. Start by getting to know your customers.
19. No one will ever complain that you've made things too simple to understand.
20. Don't tell me who you are — tell me why you matter to me.

Writing is a wonderful way to share what you know with important people around you. Become a better writer this year by reading Ann Handley's "Everybody Writes." I have already picked up a few new tips to use for my writing; I know you will, too.

And now I am off to the store to pick up some geraniums for my wife.

This article originally appeared in The Tennessean Newspaper.