12 Tips You Might Not Know About Running a Winning Business

One of the first of many valuable tips in Andy Bailey's book, No Try Only Do: Building A Business On Purpose, Alignment, And Accountability is to seek guidance and advice for your business. I expect you will agree if you are a busy owner or leader of a business or department.

I recently spent some time with the author, CEO, and founder of Petra Coach. Bailey shared his story with me and gave me invaluable advice for my business, Futureforth. He also handed me a copy of his book filled with professional wisdom to help business owners.

Twelve Key Takeaways from “No Try Only Do” 

1. You must want to change. You have to know that where you are is not where you need to be for change to occur. Bailey urges his readers to “suck up your pride and get out of your own way.” It’s true that we all fall guilty of thinking we know what’s best all of the time. This simply isn’t always true, so learning from mentors and peers will help change yourself and your businesses. 

2. Create a one-page strategic plan and list your quarterly priorities. Stick this on your wall in your office. 

3. Determine what your Core Purpose for your business is. Who do you serve? What will they gain from working with you? Then add your Core Values. Begin by asking, “What is the purpose of your organization? Why does your company exist?”

4. Create a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) and set a date in the future when you will reach that goal. Bailey uses +10Mhm in his LinkedIn profile summary and email signature. This represents his goal of having a positive impact on ten million people. His previous BHAG was +10Khm which he reached. Anything is possible.

5. Hold a daily huddle with yourself. Write down your top priorities each day and recap the previous day. Create a weekly accountability report. Review these at the end of each quarter. Consider what lessons you have learned. Where were your biggest wins and biggest failures?

6. Money is something you can either spend wastefully or use strategically to build wealth.

7. Keep an Evernote list of people you have met whom you would call “A-Players”. These are people you wish to get to know better. Refer to this list and promote what these individuals create. Keep in touch with them.

8. Use handwritten Thank You notes. A physical note goes a long way in a digital world. 

9. Remember the value of being personable and ensuring you appreciate who you work with and who works for you.

10. To grow, you need to produce more time. Hiring interns and staff and outsourcing jobs will help you achieve this. 

11. Let go of things in order to grow. 

12. Create a plan and outline what you want to accomplish in a ten-year period for your business. Break that plan down to determine how you will reach each goal. Work backward to discover what it will take to make it work. 

Follow the steps above, and as the book subtitle reads, “you will build a business on purpose, alignment, and accountability.”

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash.

Must Know Nice Rules of the Sky

I’ve been doing plenty of air travel to speaking engagements and workshops for the past few months. I love to explore the cities and towns across the country and meet locals from wherever I go. In the past two weeks, I’ve been to Columbia, S.C.; Sacramento and Napa Valley, Calif.; Kansas, Mo. and Sabetha, Kan. All were wonderful, very different locations.

According to the Federal Aviation Administration, 2,587,000 passengers fly in and out of U.S. airports daily. Those passengers fill up an average daily 26,527 flights. That is many different people with different levels of experience in air travel and etiquette. 

For the sake of all who take to the skies once or 300 times a year, let’s review a few rules you should consider while sitting in an airport or when you’re up in the clouds.  

There is a special place in Hell for those who recline their seats.

• It’s never OK to play the sound on your device without headphones, even for your kids.

• If you must speak on your phone, find a quiet corner of the airport.

• Get up and give your seat at the airport should someone need it.

• Avoid the airport seats near power outlets if you’re not going to use them. Be sure to unplug and share that power once you are all juiced up.

• Delays aren’t worth complaining about. Your complaint won’t make it depart any sooner. I’d rather have a safe flight.

• The middle seat gets the armrests. It’s only fair; nobody wants to sit in a stranger sandwich.

• If the person you speak with doesn’t ask you questions, it’s time to be quiet.

• Upset babies are upset babies. C’est la vie. Don’t blame the parents. You were once a screaming baby, too. Seek revenge one day if you must.

• Only jerks recline their seats on domestic flights. Passengers are already packed like sardines up there. Now there’s proof.

• Give eye contact and listen to the flight attendants as they go through the emergency procedures. During a recent emergency, a photo circulated on social media of passengers wearing their oxygen masks upside down.

• Clean up your garbage and recycle. Seriously, make your mother proud.

• Consider the people around you when watching your videos. The child sitting behind you may not sleep soundly again after “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

• Leave your shoes on at all times. Nobody wants to see your feet.

According to the FAA, there are 5,000 aircraft in the sky at any given time. So the next time you plan to join them, keep my friendly rules in mind to make the experience much better for you and your fellow travelers. 

Just for fun, would you like to know how many planes are traveling above you right now? Ask your smartphone. While I wrote this article, there were five flights up there. I hope those passengers are following my rules, too. Safe travels.

Don't miss my Nice Newsletter to see what I discover online each week.

Get Dealt Wisdom

I was trying to hide the tears from my son as we watched Dealt, the Richard Turner documentary. The film is about the life and career of one of the most renowned card magicians of all time, Richard Turner, a blind expert card manipulator known for his card trick performances. I was getting misty because there's a scene when he sends his son off to college. I realized our kids will be heading off before we know it. 

You would imagine you could learn a lot about performance and card magic from Richard Turner, the winner of the Golden Lion Award in Magic, the Lynn Searles Award for Excellence in Card Manipulation, and the recipient of the Close-Up Magician of the Year award from The Academy of Magical Arts. What you wouldn't expect are the invaluable life lessons within the film.

Whether you have an interest in card magic (like I do) or not, I implore you to watch Luke Korem's Dealt. I promise you will come away feeling inspired and thankful. The following are a few takeaways I jotted down during the movie. 

Lessons from Richard Turner in “Dealt”

• Believe that you are special. You have to love yourself. Richard Turner proves this in spades! 

• Be thankful for your setbacks, they make you who you are. Turner took his blindness and made it his secret weapon. 

• Be honest and transparent. This isn't a cliche, folks.

• Accept your weaknesses. Accept help from others. We all have weaknesses. When we accept them we can move on with your life.

• Teach others. I love doing this through my speaking and workshops.

• Practice, practice, practice what you want to be known for.

• You can't conquer what you're not willing to confront. Screw the demons!

Improv Workshops for Business

I recently conducted one of my Communication Mastery improv workshops for a technology company. The business had specific goals to use the workshop to help build stronger employee relationships and to work together better.

I developed my workshops focusing on using improv to improve workplace culture and communication. The idea to take a group of co-workers out of the office and away from their computers to play physical games can sound wild, but hear me out, because the results are astounding.

Try these improv exercises with your team

The skills and lessons learned from improv are vast and essential to anyone dealing with other people in their lives - so everyone.

Count to 20

One exercise involves standing the group in a circle. With their eyes closed and heads down they are tasked with counting to 20. Sounds easy? Not quite, because each person who calls the next number randomly chooses to do it.

With eyes closed and nobody saying "one," the exercise can't proceed. Someone needs to muster up the courage to call the first number. Then someone else must call the next number and so on. The kicker is the number resets to one each time two people call the same number at once.

This exercise is a fun warm up. It teaches participants to work together as a team, to listen intently, and to be leaders by being courageous enough to call the next number. They must work together to get to 20 to succeed.

Improv is filled with these types of lessons. Teams become stronger by working together on different exercises customized to help them achieve their goals. I always poll my clients ahead of time, so I know their challenges and can customize my program to meet their goals.

The New Boss

One of my favorite activities is New Boss. Participants run through some warm-ups where they learn to speak together as one person. Two people are paired up to become a single person, the "new boss." Everyone else is an employee who can ask random questions. The new boss must mouth and speak their answers slowly and in stereo in order to sound coherent.

This exercise teaches listening skills because they must listen to the sounds of the words as they are spoken. They also have to learn to accept the other person's choice, because one single person may not be able to answer the question as they would have otherwise wanted to.

Improv teaches us to listen more effectively, to be team players, to be empathetic and accepting of our colleagues. It also allows us to have fun together. The laughter is my greatest reward as I teach teams how to improve communication with each other and externally.

Try improv games with your colleagues. I am certain your teams will learn new skills, improve the ones they already have, and ultimately have fun doing it. Here’s a quick look at some feedback I’ve received from my workshops.

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Important Jay-Z Letterman Lessons

Not many people know this, but when I was in my early teens, I carried a photo of David Letterman in my wallet. I was a diehard fan of his rebellious comedy. Who else rents a convertible, let's the roof and windows down, lights a cigar, and drives the car through a carwash? Without early Letterman there would be no Tom Green, Jackass, Eric Andre, or countless YouTube pranksters. I still love artists who push the boundaries.

Letterman's new Netflix special, My Next Guest Needs No Introduction, has been awesome so far. I just watched his interview with Jay-Z and it did not disappoint. I decided to write notes and share them with you here. Get ready to be inspired. 

But first, I have another thing to admit, I'm completely ignorant of Jay-Z's music. Maybe it's because at my age, I like to hear the familiar. So I listen to much of the same music I've always loved. Understand, I totally crave discovering new music, I just don't have the time. I've also never been a major hip-hop fan. This is probably from lack of exposure more than anything else. I'm no longer surrounded by friends who would share music liberally. I love plenty of "old" hip hop, but I just never got around to discovering Jay-Z's work. That said.... I've just downloaded everything and I'm digging in. Leave a comment with some newer music I should check out if you please.

Jay-Z is Picasso

At the start of Letterman's interview, he referred to Jay-Z as Picasso. Even Heather has talked about how much she admires him. Unsurprisingly, Letterman asked thought-provoking questions that led to me sharing this with you here. Here's what I learned from his interview.

Awake feeling grateful each day. Ask yourself what you're grateful for when you open your eyes. I usually wake up and my mind immediately begins to race with the daily tasks I need to accomplish. Instead, I need to slow down and focus on what I am thankful for. Our health, my family, my friendships, my home, my work, Peggy sleeping on Heather's side of the bed instead of mine.

Use your free time to create. Jay-Z did this writing rhymes on scraps of paper when he was on the street selling crack. Yes, he was a crack dealer in the projects at just sixteen years old. He would earn money to help his single mom raise four kids. My birthday will be the first day of regularly writing a daily journal. I fully commit to the idea of doing this for self-discovery and to leave Ella and Sam something special after I've left this planet mentally or physically.

Become a mentor. Mrs. Lowden, a high school teacher, took Jay-Z under her wing. I've tried to do this with community groups in Nashville, but haven't done a good enough job. I'm excited to reach back out and get this ball rolling again. Organizations like Oasis Center, Thistle Farms, Big Brothers, Conexcion Americas are all solid starting points.

Aim to create content that will last forever. I believe that by teaching improv, I'll impact participants for a lifetime. This work has me so excited. The public facing content I create may be in the shape of a podcast and certainly more writing like this post. Evergreen is key. I plan to keep this all in mind as I consider my next book.

Get to know different people. The more I know about you, the more I can relate to you. This understanding helps us become more compassionate about what others are going through. Volunteering my time will help. Attending events that draw different types of people is also important. Mix it up.

We need to understand and be aware of the invisible similarities we all have.

There is an emotional transcendence that occurs when you become a parent. This happened for me too, it's like you suddenly reach a new level of maturity. Letterman asked why this doesn't occur for other moments in our lives, Jay-Z replied it was fear stopping us.

He explained that we need to understand and be aware of the invisible similarities we all have. For example, we all crave love, integrity, and loyalty. Fear comes from the things that make us different from one another on the outside like our races, sexes, clothing, economic status symbols.

Letterman asked what Jay-Z's thoughts are about the Trump administration and where America is. Jay-Z explained that he thought Trump was a good thing for a key reason.

Trump is forcing people to have a conversation. You can't really address something that's not revealed. He is bringing out the ugly side of America we wanted to believe was gone. And it's still here. We've still got to deal with it. We have to have tough conversations. For example, why is every third black or Latino man in America in prison? Good question. I highly recommend you watch Thirteenth on Netflix for more about this urgent question.

Let's face it, we might not become the next Picasso, Jay-Z, or Letterman. But we can live rewarding lives if we follow this wisdom. That's my plan.

Be thankful, become a mentor, connect with people who are different than you, create your art and make it stand the test of time. 

Made You Look

This post was inspired by a video shared with me by Blake Wylie on Twitter. 

Two summers ago, my family and I road tripped across the south western United States. We stopped at the Grand Canyon along the way. Our timing was impeccable because they were hosting the annual Star Party.

Amateur astronomers from all over the world gathered in a nondescript parking lot at the visitor center. Together they set up their telescopes for an evening of sky watching brilliance. The Grand Canyon park staff shut off all park lights to prevent any light pollution from hindering the sky view. 

Short lines would form in front of each telescope. Some had seats to look up, others had small step ladders to reach the eyepiece. Each astronomer had his or her telescope pointed to a specific planet. We got to see Saturn, Mars, Jupiter, and event the Moon! It was truly magical. 

I was reminded of this story after watching the short film, A New View of the Moon by Alex Gorosh. The moral of the film is to stop and look up more often, it is also to consider how small our planet actually is. You can get deeper and realize we're all the same species. We humans share an awful lot together. 

Watching the film also reminded me of how lucky we were to happen upon and participate in the Star Party. I feel that I take such experiences in my life for granted by not realizing how special they are. Maybe you do this too.

Enjoy this. 

This blog post was first sent as an email newsletter to my Nice Maker subscribers. Join us. 

How to Make Money

I had a come to Jesus with Michael Port a couple of years ago. If you aren’t familiar, Michael is an incredibly gifted professional speaker who successfully shifted his career from actor to speaker trainer. He and his amazing wife and partner, Amy, started Heroic Public Speaking together.

Michael and I had spoken at a conference and things were winding down for the day. A handful of fellow speakers had gathered to chat. We got to talking about personal finance and a few of us (myself included) admitted to not fully understanding this. We had chosen to ignore personal finance instead of trying to understand and invest in it. We literally had decided not to invest in our futures.

There are plenty of charlatans out there sharing misinformation to bilk you for your money. I have always been pessimistic about investing. The closest I had ever been to investing was within a violent grasp of my former step-mother, a psychotic stockbroker. I suppose the other side of it was being sickened by Gordon Gecko in the movie, Wall Street. What a dick!

Michael had no stake in sharing his investment advice with us. He gave us plenty to run with. He also followed up and kindly sent us an email recapping his valuable advice. He began his email suggesting we speak with our accountants about retirement. I didn’t have an accountant (I̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶’̶t̶). Gulp.

Personal Finance Books You Must Read

He suggested we begin by reading Allan Roth’s book, How a Second Grader Beats Wall Street: Golden Rules Any Investor Can Learn. I’m going to share everything I learned from it here with you. Michael also suggested a few other books, but I realized I still needed to get my head around some of the simpler points on personal finance. So I read, I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi. He simplifies things for novices like me to understand, the book is geared more towards college-aged readers. I’m going to share what I learned from it in this post. I also read, Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That The Poor And Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki, because I had heard multiple people talking about it recently.

Finally, I just finished You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero. This book came recommended by my friend and fellow mastermind group rock star, Pamela Wilson. It’s more of a mindset book than a finance book, but it all comes down to making money, right? Afterall, like Wu-Tang say, "Cash rules, still don't nothing move but the money." 

The following are quotes and excerpts from each of these personal finance books beginning with Sincero’s book because you will need money to invest, right?   

Step 1: Mindset. You Are a Badass at Making Money

We can literally create the reality we desire by making ourselves think and believe what we desire to think and believe. You cannot give what you do not have, so if you want to help others you have to take care of yourself first.

What comes out of your mouth comes into your life. We need to master our mindsets and understand Universal Intelligence. 

When you don’t investigate what’s going on with your words, thoughts, and beliefs, you risk stumbling through life on autopilot. Once resistance is gone, you’re back into your natural state of flow, there’s no doubt and fear cluttering up your energy, and the Universe can deliver you the riches you desire. Your thoughts also trigger your emotions, which get you off yer ass to take action, and your reality begins to shift.

Practice saying thank-you every time you receive money, think to yourself, “See, money loves me, it just can’t stay away.”

Take five or ten minutes to imagine yourself living out one of the specifics of your desire for riches. Write a letter to it as if it were a person. Spend at least five minutes every day sitting in silence connecting with the energy of money. Imagine money flowing all around you, filling you up, moving into and out of your heart. Note: See Jim Carrey's story about writing a check to himself for ten million dollars as proof this works. 

Vague aspirations lead to vague results; specific aspirations lead to kicking ass. Write down five action steps you will take right now to move yourself in that direction. If you wait to have the money first, it may never happen. There’s a fine line between perfectionism and procrastination.

Get clear on how much money you desire to make and by when (be specific about what the money is for and don’t forget to include your monthly nut of bare-necessity costs). Make sure this number is real and connected to specific things that bring up specific emotions. Then chunk it back – if your goal is five years away, chunk it back to how much you will make in four years, how much you will make in two years, how much you need to make this year, in six months, etc. all the way back to this month. Then put a definite plan in place with clear action steps that go toward your goal. Always stay attached to your WHY so when things get tough you keep going. Always pay attention to your numbers. If you don’t make your financial goal one week, add it on to the next. Your numbers MUST be nonnegotiable or else you’ll never get rich.

Step 2: The Basics. I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Credit is one of the most vital factors in getting rich. Once a year, by law, you’re allowed to obtain your credit report for free at www.annualcreditreport.com. The best thing to do to improve your credit score is to pay your bills on time.

On average, millionaires invest 20% of their household income each year.

Open a Roth IRA and set up automatic payments. Combine a classic low-cost investing strategy with automation. Note: Almost everything I have read recommended a Vanguard account, so I rolled my 401Ks from previous employers into a new account.

Use Google Calendar to set twelve savings goals throughout the year, with an email reminder for each one. Add a savings goal of three months of bare-bones income before you do any investing.

Spend Sunday nights reviewing receipts versus your credit card statement. Note, my father-in-law does this and he is brilliant with his money, I admire him a lot. I started to do this (not often enough) and noticed discrepancies right away.

Search for a financial planner at napfa.org. Only work with those who are fee-based and simply charge a flat fee. There’s no reason to pay exorbitant fees for active management when you could do better, for cheaper, on your own.

Mutual funds fail to beat the market seventy-five percent of the time. What you really want is solid, long-term returns.

Individual investors like you and me should not invest in individual stocks. Your portfolio will have better overall performance if you add bonds to the mix.

Step 3: Investment. How a Second Grader Beats Wall Street

Investing is about measuring risk and increasing that risk only if they can expect a long-term higher return. I never hesitate to point out that buying a couple of dozen companies is not going to increase your expected return but will increase risk. That, of course, is speculation, not investing.

There is one way, and only one way, to build a stock portfolio that is guaranteed to beat the average dollar invested. For the US stock market that one way is to buy the entire market in proportion to the value of each company. You should own a total US stock index fund.

Owning only three index funds can truly spread your eggs over the entire global basket and make competing with Wall Street such an unfair game - for them. If you own the entire market, not only are you mathematically certain to beat Wall St., you will do it with less risk. It’s the ultimate in the lesson we all learned as kids: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

Always keep at least ten percent of your nest egg in bonds or fixed income. Bond funds that are intermediate term in length are best. Buying bonds with maturities of thirty years is too risky. Five years is the sweet spot.  

Step 4: Next Steps. Rich Dad Poor Dad

The avoidance of money is just as psychotic as being attached to money. The main cause of poverty or financial struggle is fear and ignorance. It’s this self-inflicted fear and ignorance that keeps people trapped.

Once a person stops searching for information and self-knowledge, ignorance sets in. Intelligence solves problems and produces money. Money without financial intelligence is money soon gone. The people who lose are the uninformed.

If your pattern is to spend everything you get, most likely an increase in cash will just result in an increase in spending. When it comes to money, high emotions tend to lower financial intelligence.

This pattern of treating your home as an investment, and the philosophy that a pay raise means you can buy a larger home or spend more, is the foundation of today’s debt-ridden society. The rich buy assets. The poor only have expenses. The middle class buy liabilities they think are assets.

We learn to walk by falling down. Excessive fear and self-doubt are the greatest detractors of personal genius. Only a person’s doubts keep them poor.

And So…

Am I rich yet? Far from it. Do I now have money automatically going into my investments each month? Hell, yes. I have even made money from doing so over the last year, albeit it’s not a huge return (yet).

UPDATE: I have since learned not to look to see if I’ve made money on my investments. Instead, I act like a horse with blinders and simply stay the course.

Last summer, I met with a financial advisor who was recommended by my bank manager. We spoke for about an hour on this stuff. He pointed out how impressed he was that I had read these books and took the initiative to be better informed about my personal finances. I decided not to work with him because of his high fees and from what I learned in these books. Nice enough guy though.

According to Gallup, just over half of Americans own stocks, matching a record low. Middle-class adults, those younger than thirty-five are less likely to invest. MarketWatch reports that Americans (and probably Canadians, maybe) are still terrible at investing. The study finds that Americans lack the patience to hold investments for more than a few years.

I for one will not touch my investments. I’m letting them sit and accrue, from the advice I have learned from these books and from Michael Port. I also plan to keep reading personal finance books recommended by smart friends. You should too.

Here are links to each book mentioned:

You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

How a Second Grader Beats Wall Street: Golden Rules Any Investor Can Learn.

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That The Poor And Middle Class Do Not!

What books should I add to my list? 

Damned Gum Balls

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Blood oozed from his head, in pain from a sudden slip and fall along the pathway to our front door. Our guest was a friend of a friend's who had joined us for dinner. It was dark outside as he walked along our path back to his car. Suddenly, he felt something round under his foot that left him clutching for the air above as he lost his footing. Thankfully, he was alright, minus the scrape along the back of his head. 

I've come to hate the damned gum balls that fall from the trees into our yard each autumn. Don't let the name of the tree fool you, Sweet Gum, there's nothing sweet about them. They even have a bunch of different names to confuse homeowners: American sweetgum, American storax, hazel pine, bilsted, redgum, satin-walnut, star-leaved gum, alligatorwood, and Liquidambar styraciflua for you tree nerds. 

If you think stepping on a piece of Lego hurts, try taking a casual stroll beneath one of these suckers this time of year. Each time the kids run outside in socks or bare feet to play with Peggy, I cringe that they will fall victim too. 

In fact, I almost unknowingly impaled Sam as I ran the lawnmower over a pile of gum balls recently. They projected from the machine at him like he was trapped in a batter's cage with the machine gone all Maximum Overdrive.

One man's trash is another one's treasure 

We bought our house because of all of the trees on our lot. This time of year, the Sweet Gum trees change color and are quite pretty. For a moment (just a moment), I consider how much I enjoy them. Then I remember what lies beneath, waiting for its prey. 

I decided to read up more on the evils of gum balls and discovered, to my horror, that they are treasured items to others. A quick search revealed multiple sellers on Etsy!

One description reads, "These look great as home decor with some real or fake red berries in a bowl for the holidays, in potpourri as decorative filler, or use to make ornaments." 

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Even during a Thanksgiving stroll through Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, I discovered packaged gum balls for sale. The packaging called them "Pork-E-Pine Eggs". When left in a cool, dry place for seven months, they would hatch into baby pen-cushions.

Now how could a spiky ball function as a comfortable pen-cushion? Perhaps it was a typo that was supposed to read "pin-cushion". Still, who would want to stick a pin and watch these nasty things ooze? Yuck. 

But somebody buys gum balls. Enough people buy them to warrant packaging them and selling them in stores and online.

If I asked Peggy, I am certain she would tell me how much she loves them. Each time I'm outside with her in our yard, she adorably picks up a gum ball in her mouth, drops it, and happily paws it across the yard. The gum balls have become wonderful play toys for our little puppy.

Another man's treasure. 

Ramble on Success

I think I'm wiser from every failure. Every diet I've tried, every attempt at mindfulness and meditation, every new habit that has failed. I am too hard on myself each time I quit or fail.

I'm not unhealthy. I'm not stressed to the point of sleeplessness or suicidal thoughts. I can relax, I can breathe deeply, I can organize my day and stick with each task until completion.

I've learned these things from my sometimes feeble attempts. I understand what's needed to accomplish items when I aim to, I simply choose not too.

I choose not to stretch multiple times a day. I choose not to exercise. I choose not to work on the proposal, or plan, or manuscript. It's not you, it's me. My own worst enemy, they say.

I'm learning each day I procrastinate. I learn because I read the articles and books, I listen to the experts telling me what I must do to succeed.

Luck & Chance

We don't get their full, truthful transparency. We get the vision of excellence designed by the experts' marketing and publicity teams. We don't see their actual successes that actually fund their journey into expertise. Or maybe we do, but that's not the sexy part of the story. We don't hear about the luck and chance that got them to where they are today. Because so much is about this - luck and chance.

I can't rely exclusively on luck and chance though. Nobody should. But making attempts to improve myself gets me closer to the luck, closer to that chance encounter. Trying and failing gets me closer to the success I long for. And that success isn't the Ferrari or fancy home. It's extended vacations with my family. It's the peace of mind that the house has been paid for. It's knowing that the kids can go to college without the massive debt they should otherwise expect. It's having Heather home with me and traveling to my speaking engagements. It's knowing that our retirement savings are secure and ready for us to unplug from the day-to-day. A house on a lake with a wood-burning fireplace. Maybe a hot tub too. 

What is Success?

Having these visions alone is a success. Most people don't envision what their success looks like. Waiting in the car, in the fall sun, writing this as I wait for the kids is success. Happy, healthy, smart, silly kids... our success. Excited to see Heather when she gets home from work. Success. Leaving to Chicago for Google, success. Leaving to Louisville for my own engagement, success. Running my own business with wonderful clients, success. Writing and having my book published, success. 

Take a minute to consider what your success looks like. Now consider all of your successes to date. You're more successful than you think.

I'm 45. I'm just getting started. 

Try Love

Photo from Unsplash by Cerys Lowe.

I wrote something on Facebook the other day in a moment of anger. I won't bore you with the details but it included an F-bomb. The gist was I was denouncing racists, specifically white ones. They seem to cause the most damage in the world, as I am certain you will agree.

Unfortunately, some family members were among the first to see and comment on the post (I usually try to keep the mood casual and entertaining on social). The post wasn't intended for family. It was intended for the tiki-torch yielding, racists who continue to give people like me (also a white male and occasional tiki torch patron) a bad name. 

As an immigrant myself, I felt that I needed to say something because every white person should be speaking up and against the racism, sexism, homophobia that we continue to see these days. And yes, I know that social media isn't a place to win people over by arguing with trolls. But I feel that we could all do our best to balance out the vitriol with more kindness, empathy, and love. I know in my heart that there are far more good people than the not-so-good. Some people are even brave enough to win them over. 

So I thought I would clear my head on the blog today about this topic. I'll leave you with words by Martin Niemöller. He was a Protestant pastor who became an outspoken enemy of Adolf Hitler and spent the last seven years of Nazi rule in concentration camps. 

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Improv Will Help Your Company

Picture a six-year-old boy standing on a stage in front of an audience. The school production is of Little Red Riding Hood. The little boy stands erect, his arms spread out on each side, facing stage left and stage right. He's wearing Buster Brown shoes, brown corduroy slacks, and a forest green colored turtleneck shirt.

At an earlier date, the boy was to play the woodsman, who would rescue Little Red Riding Hood in her moment of wolf-related terror. He had trouble paying attention in class and was considered the class clown. One too many antics led to his demotion from playing the courageous hero to becoming a background actor as a boring, old tree.

His direction was simple. The replacement woodsman would act as he was chopping the tree (played by the boy) when suddenly he would hear Little Red Riding Hood's screams for help. He would take one final swing of his ax into the tree, and run off stage to her rescue. The tree, would simple tilt to the left as if slightly cut from the ax. The lights would go to black and the scene would end. That was the only action the boy would have in the play.

The proud parents in the audience were enjoying the children in the performance that evening. Everything was going as planned until the scene with the tree and the woodsman. When the woodsman heard Red's cries for help, he swung his ax one final time, only something unexpected happened. The tree tilted forward instead of to its side. The boy, standing erect, fell forward to land flat on his chest in the center of the stage. He probably yelled, "Timber!" in his mind as he slammed down onto the stage. The audience roared together in a moment of absolute hysterical laughter. The only face in the audience not laughing was the angry teacher, who directed the performance. Her punishment of the class clown had backfired. The boy's improvised fallen tree scene stole the show.

That boy was me.

I have always had a love for comedy and performance. This is why I bring humor into my presentations and workshops. I've seen presentations on similar topics that I speak on which lacked humor and ended up being dry and dull. I always aim to get the audience laughing as I present, so we all have fun together.

Improving with Improv

Back when I lived in Toronto, I studied and graduated from The Second City's improv training program. If you're not familiar with improv, picture the TV show, "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

I went on to perform improv in Canada, England, Scotland, and Ireland. In fact, when I lived in Galway, Ireland, I founded an improv troupe. We performed every Thursday night at a local wine bar, and I also provided corporate improv training.

When Hubspot hired me to speak at their Inbound Conference a couple of years ago, I decided to create a new presentation entitled, "Improve with Improv". I've included the twelve-minute video below for your viewing pleasure. I wanted to share how I apply some of the key lessons from improv to my everyday life, so that others can too.

After Inbound, I was craving to perform improv again. So, I auditioned to join the Nashville Improv Company. To my happy surprise (and Heather's shock), I was accepted as a cast member! For the last year, I've been performing improv every month or so. It's been wonderful to tap back into a deep passion of mine.

My consultancy, Futureforth, is all about helping others learn how to use digital marketing for their businesses. What I didn't really consider until recently was the fact that what I do is all about communication. In fact, I did the famous Strengths Finder personality assessment and discovered my top strength is - communication (followed by consistency, woo, activator and harmony).

Being a solopreneur means working alone most days - not by choice, it's just how it is. My favorite moments are spent with my clients and audiences in-person. This got me thinking about how I could offer something new to help my clients improve their communication.

Light bulb moment. Improv!

There are countless articles about how improv training can help companies improve their communication, employee morale and retention, culture, listening and presentation skills, plus… it's a heck of a lot of fun to spend half a day (or a full day) away from your computer and playing with your colleagues.

If you want to improve your business, I have no doubt that improv will help. I want to prove this to you by coming to your office and providing your team with a fun-filled morning or afternoon of improv exercises. 

I'm calling this my Communication Reboot. Let's talk about how I can help you use improv to improve your business today. Hit contact and let's chat.

Setting and Achieving Your Goals with Overlap

Imagine yourself in a car at night, driving down a long, barren road with flat empty fields along both sides. You have been driving for many hours, and you have no idea where you are headed, or if you will ever reach your destination. You don't know this because you never decided where you are going. You are just driving with no plan.

You might be enjoying the feeling you get from the freedom of the open road. However, eventually, you will begin to get frustrated and feel stressed by the uncertainty of not knowing where you are going.

Setting yourself personal and professional goals will help you set and reach your destination. If you have no goals you will eventually run out of gas along the side of that barren road.

Don't quit your day job.

I was reminded of the importance of goals as I read Sean McCabe's new book, Overlap: The Ultimate Guide to Turning Your Side Passion Into a Successful Business. McCabe is an entrepreneur who has had several successful businesses over his career. We met in-person at Jeff Goins' Tribe Conference recently and spoke more about his book. He wrote it to encourage readers to go after what they truly want to do professionally. He doesn't preach what others do about quitting your day job. Instead, he encourages you to carve out time to work on a side business that can bring you joy and reward you financially. This all begins and ends with the goals you set for yourself.

In Overlap, McCabe describes his own goal of writing the book and how he completed it in just one month. He describes his process of writing 80,000 words over two weeks. McCabe includes a clever strategy to help readers set and reach their goals.

A strategy to achieve your goals.

Begin by creating a long list of all of your life goals. McCabe recommends determining which of the goals on your list will have the biggest impact on your life if accomplished in one year. He then says to start a new list and write that one goal on the top of the page. Follow this with twenty bulleted items that will get you to accomplish that goal. Dedicate one day for each item and repeat this for twenty days. 

I would add that you might need some extra time on some of the items, but you will be surprised how little time it actually takes to complete them when you write them down. It also helps to reconsider watching YouTube and Netflix during this period because focus is key.

McCabe writes, "Successful people know what they want, and they invest every ounce of their energy in going after that one thing. You can achieve many great things in life, but you can achieve only one truly great thing at a time. If you try to pursue many goals at once, you will not succeed at any of them." He adds that you should visualize achieving your goal. He says to, see it, actualize it, and internalize the fact that it will happen. Never feel you have failed to reach your goal, just that you haven't achieved it yet.

Make an on-going list of what is effecting you positively and what's doing so negatively. Doing this will help you understand what is slowing you down from achieving your goal and what is helping.

Communicate your goals.

A key message in Overlap is to communicate your goal every day to everyone in your life. Make them associate you with the goal you plan to accomplish. It needs to be on their minds when they think of you. You can even add the people in your life to your list. Some will support you all the way, while others may try to talk you out of it or even speak negatively of your goal.

McCabe writes, "If the people in your life don't know what your goal is they can't help you achieve it." He goes on to remind his readers that we need to know the goals our friends have and do our best to support them as well. As I always say, networking is a two-way street.

Why not pull your imaginary car over right now? Fire up Google Maps or grab the old Rand McNally from the glove box. Choose your destination. You are far more likely to make your journey a success when you know where you want to arrive.

Leave a comment with your goal. Maybe we can help you get there.

Struggling with a Decision? Put on 'Six Thinking Hats'

Have you ever struggled with making a decision? Maybe you are stuck with a problem right now. I recently learned how six hats can help you overcome your challenges. I want to share this process with you here to test it for yourself. 

I learned about the Six Thinking Hats from Jim Kwik, a guest on the James Altucher podcast. Kwik is a widely recognized world expert in speed-reading, memory improvement, brain performance and accelerated learning. Kwik credited this methodology to Edward de Bono, the author of the book, "Six Thinking Hats."

In the interview, Kwik explained how to use de Bono's process to help you overcome your mental blocks and struggles with decision-making. I have been trying this myself and I am amazed with how well it works. 

The idea is, we often address challenges by thinking as ourselves and approaching them as we normally would. We don't approach the problems in different ways. Albert Einstein said, "We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." 

Problem Solving with Six Hats

Picture yourself with six hats. Think about your problem by putting on one of the six hats and taking notes on how you should address the issue. Each hat is a different color and each hat makes you think differently about the problem.

White Hat: Picture the white color of a lab coat. This is your scientific hat. Think of your problem through the lens of logic, data and facts. What information do you have that can't be denied?

Red Hat: Your red hat represents your heart. Look at the problem from emotions and consider how it makes you feel. What assumptions and feelings do you have?

Black Hat: Imagine a judge in his or her black robe. The black hat makes you judge the problem. Why may your problem fail?

Yellow Hat: Yellow is positivity, like sunshine. Consider the optimistic point of view to your problem. It presents benefits and values. It is the opposite of your black hat. What happens if your problem is solved? 

Green Hat: Your green hat is for out-of-the-box thinking. What is a creative solution you haven't considered? Think of new ideas and solutions. 

Blue Hat: Your blue hat is the blue-sky approach. This hat listens to all of the aforementioned hats and delivers your solution. It helps you discover the decision to your problem.

I have started addressing my challenges by following the Six Thinking Hat process. I use my whiteboard in my office and six colored markers to sketch out my answers. Doing so has brought me great clarity and much faster decisions to the problems I face in my business and life. 

Edward de Bonos famously asked, "If you never change your mind, why have one?" His approach to considering solutions to your problems in different ways is brilliant.

I highly recommend trying this process for yourself. I also recommend listening to Altucher's interview with Jim Kwik for clever brain hacks to help you improve your decision-making. 

Walking to School Again

When I was a kid, we used to walk to our grade school (middle school) every day, rain or shine, sleet or snow. I did the same walk each day for about five years or so.

That’s five years of walking past the same scary high schools, same convenience store, same homes, same trees, you get the idea.

A while back, I heard someone talking about virtually walking to school again using Google Street View. I gave it a try and was totally enthralled by the experience. It brought back such vivid memories of hiding behind a wall and throwing snowballs at cars, of buying candy at the convenience store (or panhandling out front), stopping in at an old apartment building to pick up a friend, a near death from a falling tree during a storm.

It also brought back great memories of my brother Mike and friends, Carrie, Pat, Maria, Richard, Spence, and others whose names are slipping my mind at the moment.

The virtual walk was strange because many of the buildings have changed now. I had no idea that a group of homes had been torn down to build condos. In fact, one of the high schools had become a condo too! Oh, Toronto, when will the condo fetish cease?

Still, the majority of buildings are where they were way back when. Even the old decrepit wall is still there. It's the one that we used to climb to sneak under the fence of the high school’s football field, or to roll down into massive banks of snow. 

The whole experience of virtually walking to school again was an amazing one (I'm a sucker for nostalgia). It took a few minutes and many clicks to get there, but not nearly as long as it did by foot, and it was a heck of a lot warmer this time too. 

Give this a try for yourself. Has your old neighborhood changed much?

The Fine Art of Haggling

The salesman rolled his eyes and nodded "yes" as I asked him for one final request before he closed the sale. I needed him to give me a lift home with my brand-new stereo. He was flabbergasted at this sixteen-year-old kid's audacity to make such a request (on top of the other ones). 

I was reminded of this tale of haggling as I read "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi. In it, he shared a cliche about how Indian men (including his father) always drive inexpensive cars and are masters of haggling their way to the best price. I can't comment on this cliche; the only Indian cliche I have is (like Newfoundlanders); they are always the nicest people. Honestly, I've never met an Indian person I didn't instantly like. 

Sethi cracked me up as he shared his embarrassment at his father's attempts to hammer down the price to the last penny. This made me laugh because I was reminded of how my dad taught me to haggle by witnessing many of his cringe-worthy encounters with salespeople.

Haggling Helps

Haggling is part of commerce with few exceptions. You always have to ask what the salesperson's best price is. Take it further if he or she won't budge on the price by adding, "Okay, I guess you don't have the power to negotiate." See what happens when you put their authority on the line.

When I was sixteen, I worked full-time, saving money for a sweet Sony stereo. My dream setup included a six-pack CD changing player, woofer, speakers, and double tape deck for making mixtapes. I finally had enough in the bank to make my purchase. 

It was a humid summer day in 1988 when I locked up my Redline RL-22 BMX bike at the post outside the stereo store. A young sales guy approached and asked me what I was looking for. He didn't expect to make a sale at first because of my combat boots, army pants, and Suicidal Tendencies t-shirt. I assured him I had the money and was dying to buy my dream stereo today. Somehow he was convinced that I was legitimate and not needing to be institutionalized.

The sale price was around $799. I was able to talk him down to $700. I revealed $700 cash, and his eyes grew larger as he envisioned his commission. As he was about to ring me up, he added that I would need to purchase $80 worth of cables sold separately. I told him I couldn't afford those and that he would have to include them. He pushed me to purchase them and I stood my ground (just like my dad taught me). The man spoke with his supervisor and returned soon after, agreeing to include the cables at no extra cost. 

I was annoyed that he tried to upsell me the cables to operate the stereo. I glanced over at a set of three blank tapes on the endcap and added them to the box. I said I would like the cassettes included in the purchase too. Miffed, he agreed to add them since he knew the store cost for the cassettes wasn't that much. 

He rang up the sale in his till and I counted seven hundred dollars cash. That's when I sprang my final request. The truth was, I never considered how I would get my bike home with so many heavy boxes. He smiled and shook his head as he agreed to give me and my bike a lift home.

Haggling may feel icky to some, but it is essential to get the best possible deal. Don't be afraid to ask for the best price or other things in your life. Ramit Sethi discusses a brilliant haggling technique with your monthly service providers who add annual fees to your bills. Your ask can lead you to a new job, client, relationship, discount from your credit card company, and even a new stereo. 

You can bet I got home and cranked my music to eleven to celebrate! 

I Was An 8-Year-Old Panhandler

Have you ever had an idea and decided to jump right in only to have it fail?

Most plans fail when we don't plan properly. Failure results in feelings of disappointment and embarrassment. On the lighter side, we learn from our failures and perhaps even gain some respect from our peers for trying. I first learned about the importance of planning in 1980. It was just a few days before Mother's Day. I had developed a plan to surprise my wonderful mother with several red roses. My dad didn't live with us, so it was up to me to figure out how I was going to get the flowers.

I remember noticing roses for sale at our local convenience store. I concluded that I would have to go to the store to buy her the flowers but I lacked one key thing - money. 

Spare some change?

My mum often took me downtown when I was a kid. There were always homeless people along Yonge Street south of Bloor Street. As we would stroll down the street, they would politely request a bit of money to get them food or drink. My mum would usually comply and hand them a dollar or the change she had in her purse. 

This must have been where I got the bright idea to ask strangers for money. With only a few days remaining before Mother's Day, I knew I had to hurry to get the roses on time. So I threw on my 1970s pull-over sweater and ventured down to Mt. Pleasant Road where my panhandling plan would unfold.

I was able to raise the money quickly as I surprised the passersby. A woman with a baby carriage handed me some coins. Two men waiting for the bus chipped in. Another woman agreed to give me some money if I promised to go home. Apparently, it wasn't safe to mooch money from strangers on the street.

I finally raised enough capital (startup talk, I couldn't resist) to purchase the flowers. I entered the store, grabbed a few red roses, and proudly laid the exact change on the counter. The smiling Korean woman nodded and smiled to me as she punched my purchase into the till. Success!

Failure

Several days passed and Mother's Day had arrived. My mum still reminds me of how sad I looked when I made the terrible discovery. Flowers need water to survive. The roses had wilted and died, hidden in the darkness of my bedroom closet without water. 

I felt such disappointment and embarrassment from my failure. I learned an invaluable lesson in botany, I haven't killed any roses since. I won the respect of my mother for executing such an audacious plan. I also got scolded and reminded to never panhandle again. Thankfully, I haven't had to.

Be audacious but do your research and have a solid plan. So much for my green thumb. It turns out I'm not a gardener either. 

Beware the Employment Sunk Cost Fallacy

I was a sucker... or I was suckered.

Heather and I were planning to get married. It was time for me to get a grown-up job. I didn't know enough about networking yet, so I applied on job websites. I spent countless hours submitting my resume and writing cover letters for entry-level marketing jobs. 

I was getting desperate when I finally got a call for an interview. The company was situated in a swanky office off Bay Street in downtown Toronto. Bay St. is similar to Wall St. in New York, picture skyscrapers and suit and ties everywhere. Not really my bag, but I wanted a decent job. 

The Worst Job I Have Ever Had

The company specialized in creating high-priced, industry-specific summits. These summits would bring together representatives from many businesses for sales and marketing workshops and presentations. Each summit would be hosted at an exotic location that would normally include views of an ocean and golf course. There was only one catch I wasn't aware of, the summits didn't exist.

On my first day of work, I was placed in a cubicle with a computer, headset, and script. Some of the days were spent researching businesses to pitch the summits to. The other part of the day was me on the phone, carefully following my script, attempting to convince the business owner that he or she shouldn't miss such a valuable opportunity. 

The bell (yes, an actual bell) rang occasionally and a co-worker's name was written on the whiteboard walls. Everyone would scream in congratulatory excitement. My first sale couldn't be far behind, but it was. In fact, my first sale never came. After a couple of weeks, I was getting desperate because the job was commission based only, which meant if I didn't make a sale, I wouldn't get a paycheck.

They promised I would earn huge commissions off each summit sold, but I needed to make a sale first. Each night, I would sheepishly arrive home empty-handed and depressed.

This type of business relies on what phycologists call the Sunk Cost Fallacy. David McRaney's definition from You Are Not So Smart nails it perfectly.

The Sunk Cost Fallacy

"The Sunk Cost Fallacy. The Misconception: You make rational decisions based on the future value of objects, investments, and experiences. The Truth: Your decisions are tainted by the emotional investments you accumulate, and the more you invest in something the harder it becomes to abandon it."

I kept showing up because I had become too invested and embarrassed to make my experience there a failure. I finally reached my wit's end when I learned the summits didn't actually exist.

They explained they would create the summit only when enough tickets were sold in advance. The kicker was if a person purchased a ticket and there were not enough sales, the purchase was non-refundable. Their "investment" could be used for a future summit instead. This was the worst job I ever had, but I learned a few valuable lessons.

Research companies before you apply.  

Don't be fooled by fancy offices and fast talking sales types.

Don't depend solely on commissions. 

I learned the hard way and share this with you here because these types of businesses exist in every city. Be careful out there if you are looking for a job.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I had a colleague reach out to me to ask whether she should continue as a self-employed marketing consultant or become an employee. Here was my advice. 

Ask yourself what you want to do most. Do you want stability but give up some freedom for it, or would you prefer potentially more reward but also more chaos? Working for yourself is always a bit chaotic and stressful (trust me, I know). So it's key to decide which lifestyle you prefer. If you choose employment, remember there are always options to work on a side hustle. ;)

Entrepreneurship or Employment

Entrepreneurship is wonderful and hellish at the same time. It is important to understand that there is nothing wrong with working as an employee. I did this for most of my career. I feel better for having done it, because I learned so much about how a business is run, and how to correct common problems and concerns that aren't visible to the outside world. 

As simple as this may sound, create two Pros and Cons lists. One for working for yourself and one for an employer. Do this on paper with a coffee (or stiffer drink). Close your computer. Put your phone in airplane mode. Don't get back online until you have completed both lists. 

I bet you'll see your answer right in front of you.

Now here's some music to help you work on your decision...

Saying Goodbye to Max

It’s been a heavy few weeks. I admit, I have wept several times at the thought of Max. I glance in a corner of the room expecting him to be there, and he’s not. I wait to hear the clicking sounds of his toe nails as he darts across the hardwood hall to search for me, but silence instead. The kids have been upset too, they make it even harder to say goodbye to our dog. There are several lessons here about how and why we had to say goodbye to our dog, Max.

We rescued Max in August 2015 using the wonderful Southern Skies Labrador Rescue. Lina Stewart is incredibly dedicated to helping to rescue and rehome labs. I’d never owned my own dog before. My dad got his first dog when I was small, Teddy, a Siberian husky. When Teddy died he got another Siberian husky named Seko, who was sadly shot by a trigger-happy farmer when he got loose at our cottage. The last dog in my life was Finnegan, my dad’s border collie, who had more character than most people. He lived until a ripe old age. 

Max was our first dog. Heather grew up with a few dogs in her life, but Max was her first dog too. Every family deserves to have a dog. The long drive back from Huntsville, Alabama with Max happily drooling in the rear was priceless. It was so special because of my kid’s beaming smiles all along the journey home. Our excitement couldn’t be contained. 

Do the Right Thing

We decided to rescue a dog rather than get one from a store for obvious reasons. Friends like C.C. Chapman and Amber Naslund are big dog rescue proponents. The ASPCA estimates that 5-7 million animals enter shelters each year, while the American Humane Association puts the figure at approximately 8 million animals. The American Humane Association states that about 3.7 million animals are euthanized each year (Source). That’s reason enough to give a rescue dog a try.   

Heather and I had always wanted a large, kind of dumb, white, furry dog. Max fit the bill perfectly. He would sleep on our bed with us, fall asleep on the couch, be eager to go for long walks, and play with us. He was awesome, but we started having problems. When our kids were on the bed with us, Max would occasionally snap at them. Not good.

Max became aggressive and would growl and bark at anyone at our door or in our house, he wa especially aggressive towards other kids. We thought he was just being protective but we didn’t fully understand what was going on. 

Don’t Deny the Problems

The worst incident was when Heather was sitting on our couch with Max on her lap - all eighty pounds of him. Our niece was visiting and decided to approach the couch to pet Max. To our horror, he became vicious and leapt from Heather’s lap to attack. I sprang out of my chair and wrestled Max to the ground. I violently dragged him by his collar to his cage. It was a terrible incident that left us shaken and seeking help. Thankfully nobody was hurt. 

I contacted Lina to express my concern. She recommended we reach out to Todd Vehring who is otherwise known as The Doggy Lama. For a one time fee, Todd would come to our house to work with the dog and us. The fee included his return visits as needed. Todd was amazing right from the start. 

Find an Expert and Get Help

We learned that the majority of problems were with us and not Max. He’s an alpha-male dog and we were his bitches. Todd taught us some important lessons like never letting Max get on our furniture, so he would understand he is not our equal. Through more exercises, we taught Max that we were in charge - not him. We saw a different dog from this point. He was much more passive and mellow. Even taking him for walks was easier when we would remind Max to walk behind us and not in front. He was no longer the leader of the pack.

His aggression returned a few weeks later. We called Todd and he returned to work with us again at no cost. He concluded that a shock collar was a good solution to help teach him right from wrong. Also, in case he got aggressive again, we could crank up the remote and zap him. Max would instantly react when I used the remote at the “1” setting. I had to switch it to “2” a few times and he would yelp. I never used it passed “2”, God only knows what “7” (the maximum) must have felt like. I’m glad we didn’t find out.

Max had a best friend a couple of doors away, Griffin. The two of them would play together every day. I would let Max off his leash so they could run around. Max would always playfully bite Griffin’s cheeks and Griffin would wrap his long legs around Max’s head. I called our dog a Max Truck, when he would collided with Griffin. You could hear the thud. In fact, he once accidentally took me out too. He ran directly into my legs and I went tumbling to the pavement below. Not his fault... I should have been paying more attention. 

One day, a loan husky appeared, probably lost from someone’s home. Max became aggressive and would have attacked it had I not stopped him. The same thing happened with a neighbor walking his German Shepard. Sometimes neighborhood kids would appear to play in the yards and Max would snap or growl. Luckily, I could zap him and put him in his place. His unpredictability and aggressive behavior was a major problem that we had to come to terms with. 

Recently, our niece returned to the house. She was in the basement as I walked Max outside. When we entered the house and he saw her he became violent towards her. Had he not been on the leash he would have gone after her. 

Do the Right Thing (as much as it hurts)

Heather and I had a heart-to-heart conversation and concluded we had to part with Max. The kids are getting older now and their friends come to our house. What would happen if we weren’t home and they entered the house? What would happen if the shock collar didn’t fire like it was supposed to (which happened occasionally). What would happen if Max got off our deck and became loose in our neighborhood?

It was tough to tell the kids that we decided Max wasn’t a good fit for our family. It was very tough. Worse, we had to wait for about two months before Max finally found a new home. Max behaved well during his final weeks with us. The truth is he’s a good dog, he’s so loving, he loves scratches and to be pet, he loves to be played with, he loved to sit on my feet; under my desk as I worked. Saying good-bye was very difficult for all of us. 

I am happy to report that Max is now with a couple without kids. They are aware of his issue with them. They have a large fenced-in yard (we don’t). Plus, he has a playmate, another yellow Labrador. Todd was kind enough to take Max to meet his new adopted parents. He was very good with them, and he was gentle as he played with his new girlfriend (or is she his sister now?). 

Accept the Outcome

And so our quest to be a family with a dog has come to a close - for now. We will rescue another dog in the future, but will likely go for a puppy who we can train and love early. It was clear that Max had issues from his past we couldn't overcome. Please be clear, we still believe rescuing a dog is the best way to go. We have had several updates and hear Max is happy and doing well with his new family. 

We still talk about Max. We're still sad he had to go. But we are confident we made the right decision. 

I swear it was like he knew today would be our last one together. We ❤️you, Max. We're happy that he found a new family but sad to say good-bye.

A post shared by Dave Delaney (@davedelaney) on Apr 14, 2017 at 7:54pm PDT

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UPDATE: And then along came Peggy!

Be The Person You Needed When You Were Younger

Something cool happened yesterday. I was poking around Reddit, as I do, when I came across a post with this inspiring image. 

And so I shared it on Facebook asking who the man was in the photo. My smart friends chimed in and we were able to conclude it is Brad Montague from Montague Workshop (who created Kid President). Thank yous are due to Karen Ward and Jessica Ennis.

Thanks also to Rebecca Potter Bailey who noted that the quote was popular on Pinterest. And thanks to Adele McAlear who dug deeper to find the quote originates from Ayesha Siddiqi.

"Be the person you needed when you were younger."

But something else happened as a result of these few minutes on Facebook. The quote touched other people too. Chris Moody from Twitter mentioned he was going to hire Montague to speak. Kevin Tucker mentioned how much he loves the positivity that Brad is putting out there. And this...

In fact, it was Michael Dougherty who shared a video. And it was the video that left me feeling even more inspired and positive. So here it is. 

Thank you to my friends for sharing their smarts. Thank you to Ayesha Siddiqi for the powerful quote, and to Brad Montague for using it in his presentation and for putting this video together. 

Now I'm off to live my Space Jam... all from sharing a photo from Reddit on Facebook. You see, social networking can still be fun with friends and great content. 

Interested in exploring empathy? Check this out.