Outcomes from acknowledging life outside your walls

You have to acknowledge there is life outside the walls of your organization. I know, you understand this, but most people during the day-to-day forget. We are focused on prospecting and client work that we often neglect considering what’s beyond those walls.

I want to teach you the true value of embracing life outside your walls. Doing so will lead to happier and more connected employees. This will improve retention and save you money on recruiting and retraining your team members when they quit.

This particular story hits three of the most important pieces of life outside your walls. You have to have internal aspects, external aspects, and trust.

In 2010, I proposed an idea to gather a few fellow team members at Griffin Technology and embark on a road trip. The plan evolved into a major undertaking that involved rebuilding a 1972 VW Westfalia after hours, driving it 2,500 miles from Nashville to Las Vegas, organizing meet-ups with our customers, and parking ‘Double Nickles’ in our booth at CES (the largest consumer electronics show in the world).

Life Outside Your Walls

Trust

Let’s begin with trust. Without the consent of the leadership team at Griffin the trip, affectionately known as CES Bound, would not have taken place. People who work in companies that do the best job creating a culture of trust, compared to those in companies that are the worst at it, are 50% more productive, 76% more engaged, and have more than double the energy, according to research led by Paul Zak, director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University. Trust matters.

Externally

Allowing your team members the freedom to leave the office to attend conferences and tradeshows can be incredibly rewarding. They learn new skills and build relationships with future clients or customers, employees, and strategic partners.

The CES Bound trip was a six-day journey of getting to know my colleagues better. Lifelong friendships and brand loyalty were established.

Internally

The staff at Griffin eagerly volunteered their time to rebuild an immobile classic VW bus after hours. The team also organized meetups, promotional partnerships, media coverage, and 2,5000 miles worth of content for social media and promotional usage like this road trip tips guide we made.

What happened?

The outcomes of this initiative were:

“This is a nice example of how the creativity of people who have a vested interest in an organization can be harnessed in completely novel ways.

What this tells me is that Griffin listens to its innovative talent instead of ignoring their disruptive actions. This is really necessary for an organization that has to remain nimble and resilient in an industry that changes daily. Being able to leverage its own internal creativity increases the chance that Griffin will continue to be successful.”

— Richard Gayle, President, SpreadingScience.

1. We had a team of connected people with unparalleled trust in the company.

2. We had a team that was more cohesive than ever and it actually led our work within those walls to be even better.

3. We had tons of content like photos and videos that helped promote our company culture and products.

4. We welcomed countless media professionals and buyers to our booth at CES who wanted to learn about our new products and have their photos made with the bus.

5. We received media coverage from technology and business reporters.

I’m not telling you to go on a road trip, but you have to get this right and do these things if you want to have happy connected employees and if you want to reduce costs of recruiting and training replacement staff. Think about other ways you can celebrate life outside your walls.

I loved working at Griffin Technology. We built such a strong team and culture that we were able to grow and eventually, the acclaimed technology company was even acquired.

Three costly employee onboarding mistakes and how to avoid them

What is it about starting a new job that makes you want to quit? Up to 20% of employee turnover happens in the first 45 days for new hires!

According to SHRM, one-third of new hires quit their jobs after nearly six months. Just putting bums into seats behind computers does not save your fast-growing technology company money. In fact, losing and retraining staff is costly. A company can spend six to nine months of an employee's salary to replace them. For an employee making $60,000 per year, that comes out to $30,000 - $45,000 in recruiting and training costs. Yikes!

You want happier and more connected employees to improve retention, build a strong culture, and stop wasting money on recruiting and training. According to an HR Executive article by Jamie Kohn, “Employees today are experiencing a crisis of connection. According to Gartner research, only 40% of employees feel a sense of belonging at their organization. The problem is even worse for new employees; just 32% of employees hired in the past 12 months feel a sense of belonging to their organization.”

Three common employee onboarding mistakes to avoid the wrecks.

1. Failing to prepare for the new employee’s arrival.

A study by Octanner found 69% of employees are more likely to stay with a company for three years if they experienced great onboarding. Organizations with a standard onboarding process experience 50% greater new hire retention.

Alexandra Hicks at Zenefits shares ten ways to prepare for an employee's first day. She perfectly captures what I recommend companies do.

1. Send a first-day welcome announcement to the company. I suggest including an internal FAQ as I wrote about in my Nice Method post about how to avoid the wrecks.

2. Prepare their space.

3. Provide a staff directory.

4. Simplify first-day paperwork.

5. Offer a solid training program.

6. Assign a mentor.

7. Plan an activity.

8. Give a welcome gift.

9. Check in.

10. Show your enthusiasm.

2. Companies often fail to reinforce their values, purpose, and beliefs. 

What are your beliefs? As Ron Tite wrote in Think, Do, Say, “Believing isn’t enough. You have to act to reinforce your beliefs. These actions are based on who you do your work for, what they want you to do, and who you do it with. Tite shares the example of REI who states “We believe a life lived outside is a life worth living.” So they close their 167 stores on Thanksgiving and Black Friday to encourage their 13,000 employees to #OptOutside. In fact, they pay their staff to do this and encourage other brands to follow suit.

A Gartner survey from June 2020 of 600 employees revealed that employee engagement declined when their employer simply made a statement with no action behind it. When a company took action on a social issue, employee engagement increased by 20 percentage points.

3. Not setting clear goals and expectations.

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Leaders should use the Nice Method to encourage discourse and clarity with their new hires. To do this, be sure they are aware of your open-door policy for feedback and questions. Schedule “Ask me anything coffee” meetings ahead of time, so they are on your new team member’s calendar.

Create SMART Goals and share them openly. To do so; be specific, make the goals measurable by setting key performance indicators, set realistic and achievable goals, be sure your goals are relevant to the business and make them time-bound to know when each goal is due.

Finally, be clear with your team when onboarding begins, how long it will last, and what impressions you want new hires to feel at the end of their first day working with you.

Onboarding is a crucial process in the Nice Method and doing it well will help you avoid the wrecks.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash.

How to stop employee turnover at tech companies

The findings of The Achievers Workforce Institute’s February 2021 survey are sobering. Fifty-two percent of fully-employed employees said they intend to look for a new job this year, up from 35% in 2020. These numbers are especially concerning for the software technology industry who, according to LinkedIn’s most recent study found the industry has the highest turnover rate of 13.2% rate. This figure can be as high as 21.7% for embedded software engineers.

I worked for two fast-growing technology companies and experienced the negative side of growth first-hand. One day, as I was getting a cup of coffee, I noticed a new face preparing her own cup. Her affixed ID badge indicated she too worked there, so I concluded she had just joined our team.

“Hi, I’m Dave, I work in marketing. You must be new.” I smiled and welcomed our new addition.

With a half-hearted chuckle, she replied, “I’ve been working here for four months.” I could tell this was probably not the first belated welcome conversation she experienced in our quick-growing firm. I never saw her again, which left me to conclude she moved on to a different, more welcoming, nicer company.

Success can be a painful journey for your team members. Companies lose their heart as communication and cohesiveness faulters through rapid growth. Your longest and most loyal employees begin to abandon ship because they feel excluded or no longer heard.

A study by The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) reported that on average it costs a company 6 to 9 months of an employee's salary to replace him or her. For an employee making $60,000 per year, that comes out to $30,000 - $45,000 in recruiting and training costs.

I want to give leaders a look behind the scenes at what goes wrong, and how to fix it. The fact that it takes an average of 51 days to fill an IT role in the US, you simply can’t afford to ignore the turnover. While compensation matters, it isn’t the top factor when it comes to retention. Work-life balance and recognition both rate higher than compensation for retaining top talent.

The Nice Method includes three pillars to leaving you with happier and more connected employees, they are Hear Your Team, Avoid The Wrecks, and Life Outside Your Walls.

When you hear your team members actively listening, you avoid the wrecks that cause churn. When you take the time to bring your people together and you consider life outside your walls, you humanize your team which makes them happier and more connected. Happier teams have longer tenures, so you can stop wasting money on recruiting and training.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics found 4 million people quit their jobs in April 2021 — the biggest spike on record. The Nice Method will help you avoid being a part of similar future statistics.

If you’re a fast-growing tech company and you’re experiencing challenges with employee retention you are probably getting one of the Nice Method three pillars wrong.

Step 1. Hear Your Team 👈

Step 2. Avoid the Wrecks

Step 3. Life Outside Your Walls

Immigrants, sex, and donuts

Immigrants come to this country in droves. They start businesses and use a tax loophole, so they don’t have to pay taxes. They then invite their family members and friends here, they too start similar businesses, and they don’t pay taxes either!

This is something two American friends told me a number of months ago before dinner. They explained that these loopholes are how immigrants come from countries like India and Korea and now run most mid-range hotels and convenience stores, respectively.

Naturally, I was dumbfounded. I Googled their tax claim and discovered they were wrong. I politely added that I wish it was true since I’m an immigrant. I joked that I wanted to cash in on this*. They were both surprised but accepted my fact-checked revelation.

I explained that it made sense that an immigrant who comes to America and starts a successful business would invite their extended family. Naturally, they would support and mentor them to create similar businesses. This is what Irish laborers and Italian restauranteurs did in the early days of the US. Go back even further and it was the Spaniards and French who built great wealth from this Native American land.

I don’t expect the gentlemen were racist, they were simply ill-informed by rumors and misinformation. It’s easier to make the case when the people you refer to don’t look like you. Besides, I added, isn’t discovering loopholes to pay as little tax as possible the American way? Even that former president applauded such efforts, but I digress.

Sex & Donuts

Recently, I watched two documentaries on Hulu. I didn’t expect they would both leave me thinking a lot about immigrants... and sex and donuts.

The first film was Ask Dr. Ruth. I watched it because I was just speaking with my kids the other day about her. I told them how we (people growing up in the ’80s) learned all about sex from Dr. Ruth Westheimer (and Sue). I was curious about her story and decided to give the movie a try. I had no idea that Dr. Ruth had been a refugee who lost her parents during the holocaust. She ended up immigrating to the US in 1956.

The second film was The Donut King. The story of Ted Ngoy, also known as the “Donut King” who came to the United States as a penniless refugee from Cambodia in 1975.

Both Dr. Ruth and Ted Ngoy had horrific experiences that led in part to their relentless work ethic and passion for supporting others. Dr. Ruth literally taught thousands of Americans about sex, while Ngoy taught hundreds of Cambodian refugees how to open and run their own donut shops across the country. Both are heroes.

I had no idea that an estimated 80% of donut shops in the Los Angeles area are owned by Cambodian Americans. In Houston, Texas, the percentage is an even larger 90%.

This morning, on the way to school, I took my kids to our local donut shop and mentioned the movie to the cashier. She laughed and confirmed that she too was Cambodian!

I realize immigration is a complex topic that’s far beyond my scope. But I encourage you to watch both of these excellent films and use the web to fact-check when you hear outlandish statements.

And in case you’re wondering, here are the top 25 US companies run by immigrants.

1. Tesla

2. Google

3. eBay

4. PayPal

5. Nordstrom

6. BNY Mellon

7. Kohl’s

8. Cognizant

9. LinkedIn

10. Big Lots

11. DuPont

12. Pfizer

13. Yahoo

14. Soros Fund Management

15. Kraft Heinz

16. Goldman Sachs

17. General Electric

18. Comcast

19. Emerson

20. Capital One

21. Procter & Gamble

22. WellCare Health Plans

23. Honeywell International

24. Colgate

25. Thermo Fisher Scientific

*This immigrant always pays his taxes in full.

Lessons Learned from The Diamond Cutter

The Diamond Cutter by Geshe Michael Roach is a wonderful business book unlike any other.

The main story is the practical application of Buddhist philosophies to the world of business, based upon Geshe Michael Roach's seventeen-years of experience as an employee of the Andin International Diamond Corporation, a company that grew during his tenure from four employees to a world leader in the jewelry industry.

The two main takeaways, I want to share with you are related to how we treat our colleagues and how we consider money.

How we treat others

I once worked with a person who was a loud eater. They would smack their lips in a way that would drive me insane. I had to exit the room while the person lunched just to avoid flipping my desk over in disgust.

The Diamond Cutter made me reconsider this type of negative thinking when dealing with someone who annoys you. Here’s the passage I would like you to read and consider for yourself.

… nothing that ever happens to us is a good thing or a bad thing from its own side, because —if it were— then everyone else would experience it that way as well. For example, our irritating person at work would strike everyone else in exactly the same way, if his or her “irritating-ness” were something inside that was flowing out of that individual and flying across the room to us. In reality though there is almost always someone who finds the person to be good and lovable. 

The fact that this is the case has two important implications:

1) This person has no quality, within him, of being irritating or nice. He himself, from his own side, is “blank” or “neutral” or “empty”. 

2) The reason that we personally experience this person as being irritating must be coming from somewhere else.

Apparently, there is no “irritating-ness” flowing from these people to them— which very simply proves that this is not a quality within the people themselves. They have no such quality within themselves, or it would show itself to others; they are, rather, like blank screens, neutral and different people see different things in them. This is a very simple and undeniable proof of emptiness or hidden potential. And everything else in the world is the same.

So the next time someone is annoying you, consider why you are being annoyed. Rather, consider how the person is loved by others. Don’t be upset if others don’t find you as nice as you are striving to be.

Building wealth

Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash.

The Diamond Cutter spends a fair amount of time exploring the ideas of money and building wealth. I’ve shared strategies related to this with you here before. I’ve also written at length about the need to network nicely within my book, New Business Networking, and to always find ways to serve others first and foremost.

In The Diamond Cutter, Roach shares the idea of planting karmic imprints or seeds for the future. He also speaks of manifestation in this regard.

Now if all these theories are right, then the reason that any particular venture (brilliant or idiotic) is a success and makes money is due only to the good imprints in the mind of its creator: Those who succeed get to see themselves making money only because, at some point in the past, they planted in their minds an imprint to see themselves making money. And this particular imprint can be planted only by watching yourself giving all you can to others. As we’ve seen, this giving begins and should begin in a limited way: Small kindnesses done to people in your own department, or your own family, based on watching them closely to see what they want and need.  

Then the giving graduates to a broader level, say to every department in your company, with the gift taking on more substantial proportions- financial yes, but also in terms of giving your own time, and your emotional and professional support, and helping people with ideas. 

He describes three principles about making money. The first is related to how people feel about money and its connection to greed.

In Buddhism, it is not the money which is in itself wrong; in fact, a person with greater resources can do much more good in the world than one without. The question rather is how we make the money; whether we understand where it comes from and how to make it continue to come; and whether we keep a healthy attitude about the money.

The whole point then is to make money in a clean and honest way, to understand clearly where it comes from so it doesn’t stop, and to maintain a healthy view toward it where we have it. As long as we do these things, making money is completely consistent with a spiritual way of life; in fact, it becomes part of a spiritual way of life.

The second principle is that we should enjoy the money; that is, we should learn how to keep our minds and bodies in good health while we make the money. The activity of creating wealth should not exhaust us so much physically or mentally that we cannot enjoy the wealth. A business person who ruins his health doing business is defeating the very purpose of business.

The third principle is that you should be able to look back at your business, at the end, and honestly say that your years of doing business have had some meaning. The end of every business enterprise we engage in, and in fact the end of our lives, must come to every person who ever does business. And at the most important part of the business - at the end, when we are looking back on all we have achieved - we should see that we have conducted ourselves and our business in a way that had some lasting meaning, that left some good mark in the world.

To summarize, the goal of a business, and of ancient Tibetan wisdom, and in fact of all human endeavor, is to enrich ourselves - to achieve prosperity, both outer and inner. We can enjoy this prosperity only if we maintain a high degree of physical and mental health. And over the length of our lives we must seek ways to make this prosperity meaningful in a larger sense.

There is much more to explore in The Diamond Cutter. I highly recommend you give this gem a read for yourself. Feel free to share any takeaways with me here. I always love to hear from you.

Walkable Perspectives

(Originally written in June 2020)

Nashville’s unofficial bird is the crane. From where I’m sitting as I write this, I count eight cranes looming over Music City.

According to the Nashville Business Journal’s “Crane Watch”, as of May 2020, there are 34 tower cranes in the Nashville skies — a number that's held relatively steady, with one crane seeming to appear each time another is dismantled. The tally is nearly as many as Seattle, and more than Chicago, Denver, Portland, and Washington, D.C., according to the firm Rider Levett Bucknall.

We live in the suburbs. I usually cringe when I see the massive, metallic machines looming over the sky. I bitch to myself about how I don’t even recognize sections of the city anymore. I complain about the lack of affordable housing and how musicians can’t even live here anymore.

Since temporarily relocating into the upscale, Gulch neighborhood, I’ve started to rethink my negative attitude. Cranes are a sign of growth. New buildings certainly beat boarded-up ones due to closures, which is the case in many cities and towns across this country (even pre-pandemic).

I came to this realization today as we walked Peggy. We walked north along 11th all the way to Jefferson. We discovered a section of the Nashville Greenway we didn’t know existed.

It occurred to me, as we stood on the NE corner of Broadway and 12th, that this used to be a super sketchy corner. When we first moved to Nashville in 2007, I noticed the only people who walked around were occasional tourists and homeless people. I longed to live in a walkable city.

Walking Cities

One of my favorite parts of traveling is exploring cities on foot. I always make a point to arrive early or depart a little later, so I can have time to walk around. This has resulted in me discovering all sorts of cool places creating my own mental Altas Obscura. Some discoveries that come to mind from such adventures are the doors in Scottsdale, a punk rock shop in New Hope, and a wicked record shop in Tucson.

It is because of all of this construction in Nashville that new walkable areas of downtown areas are appearing. I noticed many people out strolling to work, walking dogs, and jogging. I marveled at how we were able to safely move through the area with ease along the sidewalks and walking paths. I wished the traffic lights would change without a need for pedestrians to press the button, but this was overshadowed by the progress.

Nashville still has a ways to go to become a fully walkable city. It scores 28 out of 100 from WalkScore.com. I looked up my hometown of Toronto and it has a score of 61. Not too shabby.

What’s your city’s walking score?

Why You Should Keep Slang Out of Work-Related Communication 🤔

Did you know on average, only 21% of organizations keep their workplace communications simple and jargon-free?

Not everyone understands online sarcasm, and some don't even understand it offline (I feel bad for them). Emoticons are a common thing to include in casual online communication. However, not everyone understands that :-) is supposed to be a smile, and ;-) is supposed to be a wink.

What does the J in emails mean?

Do you use Microsoft Outlook for email? You probably have the popular Wingdings font installed. The cute smile that you include in your message confuses the pants off the recipient if they use a different email client because the smile appears as a single capitalized letter "J."

When corresponding in a professional manner via email, it is best to avoid sarcasm and emoticons. Avoid slang, too, because that can really mess things up for you.

I once ran into a problem with my colleagues. There was confusion over what was needed for an important project. I composed a detailed email to clarify everything, but I made one big mistake.

I meticulously wrote out each step needed for the project in a bulleted email. To be absolutely sure that the team would understand what was needed, I proofread my message multiple times before hitting the send button. My big mistake was how I signed off in the message.

Who the heck is Bob?

You see, I'm Canadian. My Mum is British. That wasn't a typo; I actually call her "Mum." In Canada and the UK, there is a popular expression that we use instead of saying, "And there you have it." The expression is one that completely messed up my perfect email. I ended my email with, "and Bob's your uncle."

I hit send, and I sat back in my chair with a deep feeling of satisfaction for helping everyone understand what was needed. We worked in an open-environment without walls; I could see some of my colleagues at their desks. Their heads were down focusing on their work. Their email notifications went off as my message arrived in their inboxes. Slowly, their heads began to rise with looks of bewilderment across their faces. Finally, one of them exclaimed, "Who the heck is Bob?"

It was tragically hilarious that I then had to explain what the sentence meant. Not only this, but I had to reply to other colleague’s confused emails to me who were not in the room. Yes, it made for a great laugh, but caused a big disruption in the time we could have been using to finish the pressing project.

Whether you're writing an email to follow up with a person you met at a networking event, replying to a customer, or emailing your boss, do yourself a favor and avoid sarcasm, slang, and emoticons. Nobody has the time for long-winded email messages these days, so keep them short, sweet, and nice.

And Bob's your uncle!

Quality Over Quantity

A general rule of life should be to always aim for quality over quantity. The only exception I have thought of is money. I’d rather have more money, I don’t really care about the condition of the bills. With more money I can support the causes I care most about and eliminate the stress that stops me from creating the content I most want to share with you.

My quality over quantity rule is especially nice as it applies to relationships. I’m very much a people person. Over my many years of indulgence and excitement over the rise of social networks, I mistook these brief interactions with people as quality encounters. They used to be, but today algorithms decide whom you will see in your timeline instead of you.

“Let your guiding rule be not how much, but how good. A thing you do not want is expensive at any price. Avoid surplus. Choose quality over quantity.”

— Mayer A. Rothschild.

During my digital detox from social media last summer, I made it a point to reconnect with old friends via video conferencing, telephone, or a few in-person* beverages. I didn’t realize how much I missed this type of interaction.

I have been reviewing old photographs from the many conferences I attended over the years. I have then scheduled and conducted catch up video chats with some of those folks. The meetings have been personally rewarding to me. These quality chats are much more fulfilling than a like, comment, text, or private message.

“The most precious gift you can give someone is the gift of your time and attention.”

— Nicky Gumbel.

Spending 30-60+ minutes chatting with people I enjoyed meeting way back when has been one of the best uses of my time. Why not communicate again with the people you have most enjoyed interacting with in the past?

They say time and attention are our most valuable resources. Investing this time and attention in reconnecting with people I admire has made me far richer.

Quality relationships make you richer.

* Making a point to be six-feet apart, wearing a mask before and after, and with clean hands.

Do You Have These Social Intelligence Skills?

In order to effectively lead an organization or department, one must be fluent in social intelligence skills.

The key elements of social intelligence are verbal fluency and conversational skills; knowledge of social roles, rules, and scripts; effective listening skills; understanding what makes other people tick; social self-efficacy; and impression management skills. Social intelligence (SI) is one of the core areas my corporate training focuses on in the Nice Method. How versed are you in each of these areas?

Social Intelligence Skills

Verbal Fluency and Conversational Skills. Ronald E Riggio Ph.D. explains this well in his article in Psychology Today. “You can easily spot someone with lots of SI at a party or social gathering because he or she knows how to “work the room.” The highly socially intelligent person can carry on conversations with a wide variety of people, and is tactful and appropriate in what is said. Combined, these represent what are called “social expressiveness skills.”

Effective Listening Skills. I obsess about actively listening with intent. I love the reaction I get from audiences when I share the fact that an anagram for the word ‘silent’ is ‘listen’ (also ‘tinsel’, but I digress). We don’t learn from speaking, we learn from listening. Here’s a quick video from The Master Communicator’s Secret Weapon presentation for more on how to improve your listening skills.

We don’t learn from speaking, we learn from listening.

Understanding What Makes Other People Tick. As a speaker and improv performer, I have studied how to read an audience. Noting the facial expressions and body language of the crowd is important in adjusting my performance to leave them satisfied. The same goes for professional settings like sales calls, video meetings, candidate interviews, employee performance meetings, and investor calls. Not only is reading the people important but understanding why they are behaving the way they do is crucial.

Knowledge of Social Roles, Rules, and Scripts. To come off as socially sophisticated and wise, one must understand the difference in the people they interact with. In an office setting or virtual meeting, you come across many different types of people who demand different styles of interaction. Recognizing these differences and adapting your communication style is key to effective communication.

Impression Management Skills. You need to be aware of the impression you are leaving on the people you communicate with. This means mixing a healthy dose of authenticity with self-censorship. Being honest and sincere is paramount in everything we do, but being completely transparent can have serious ramifications in professional relationships.

Role-Playing and Social Self-Efficacy. Knowing how to play different social roles will make you feel comfortable no matter who you are communicating with. When you practice these skills you feel socially self-confident and more effective. This is why role-playing is an important part of the Nice Method, which leads to improved social self-efficacy.

Be Nice to People. Rivers -> Radio -> Podcast

“I got through! I got through!"

Few things were more exciting in the 1980s than calling your favourite radio station and getting through. I wish I could remember why I had called 1050 CHUM in Toronto, but there I was on hold about to speak live on the air.

The host of the morning show was radio broadcasting legend, Tom Rivers. Rivers was like Toronto’s own Johnny Fever from WKRP.

CHUM’s Creative Director, Larry MacInnis described Tom, “At heart, he was a mischievous twelve-year-old boy in the body of a six-foot-ten, four hundred-pound man-child – a heavyweight talent in every sense of the word.”

I suppose we connected well because I was around twelve-years-old at the time.

After saying something on air, Tom graciously invited me down to the station for a tour. I am willing to bet that 99% of Toronto kids were never given the same opportunity.

I begged my mum, who quickly gave in and scheduled our meeting. Together we travelled down to the popular Top-40 station in her denim blue, 1978 AMC Gremlin. The car even had a 1050 CHUM sticker affixed to the rear window like most cars in Toronto back then.

I remember being mesmerized as I watched Tom in action behind the microphone and cart machines. His kindness and talent for broadcasting must have left an impression on me. In 1995, I graduated from Seneca College having studied radio and television broadcasting. Naturally, I majored in radio.

My love for radio led me to an internship on an internationally syndicated blues radio show called Blues North, hosted by the wonderful Big John Small. My career in radio teetered off after several attempts at getting a job at radio stations in Toronto. It was simply too competitive a market, and I didn’t have the professional drive or networking knowledge in me quite yet.

From Radio to Podcasting

My passion for broadcasting led me to begin podcasting in 2005. We nearly had the first parenting podcast, Two Boobs and a Baby. We were the second parenting podcast after Paige and Gretchen’s Mommycast. I have had several podcasts since then, with NBN Radio ADHD Wise Squirrels being my most recent podcasting endeavor. (updated 12/14/23)

I am thankful for how nice a guy Tom Rivers was. I am a firm believer that the kindness we share today can inspire others tomorrow. Just ask my daughter, who now proudly bears those call letters of yesteryear.

You can do this too.

From mentoring to giving a kid a chance, consider how your kindness can help inspire future generations. Blues artist Albert Collins was another legend who did this for me; that story led to me interning for a national blues radio show! Going above and beyond in the smallest of ways may seem simple, but these gestures are like waves that leave ripples in the water for decades.

What I Did on My Summer Social Media Vacation

I decided to take a break from social media. For the months of June and July, I refrained from posting anything to the social networks I have belonged to for over a decade. This was my first time taking time off for a digital detox from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

The purpose of my break was partly to unplug from the noise. Please note that our exchanges are never considered noise if you are connected with me on a social network. The other part was to clear my head of my dread and anxiety.

The noise is from the strangers in my feeds pontificating about politics and arguing over whether masks are useful during a pandemic (stop being stupid), the bots configured to create rage, the media companies seeking clicks and views, the stalker-like advertisements that follow me from retargeting even after I’ve made the purchases. You can stop wasting your money Rayban and Rugstudio, I already bought from you.

Let’s not forget how social networks use algorithms to decide who and what we should see in our feeds. I preferred social media when it was social, and we didn’t need this.

What I Did on My Summer Digital Detox

The following are things I noticed being off social media.

More Thinking. In the past, I haven’t paused long enough to consider why I wanted to share something. I’ve thought much more about this since taking a break. I share on social because I like to entertain, inform, and promote my content and content from people I admire.

Saved Time. When I snap a photo, I usually do so with the intention of sharing it on Instagram. Instead of posting it right away, I take the time to use filters and photo editing apps to improve the quality of the shots. I then consider the caption and corresponding hashtags. I would guess it takes me about 15 minutes to post one photo to Instagram. I’ve posted 3,642 images to Instagram since I created my account in 2010. That works out to 37 days, 22 hours 30 minutes.

More Reading. I ended up recouping the time I would have spent on social media. This left me with more free time to read books again. When taking Peggy for a walk, I often flip endlessly through Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. I replaced this urge by returning to my books within the Kindle app.

No News is Good News. When I wasn’t reading my Kindle app, I (too) often switched to Google News or Apple News and would fall down the rabbit hole. Obviously, staying informed is important. However, too much news is never a good idea. I found the experience better by pondering why I clicked each headline.

Reach Out and Touch Someone. Like the old Bell telephone ads of yesteryear, I realized there was much more value in emailing, texting, video conferencing, or phoning a friend than tagging them in a social media post. One friend released his new book, so I called him to tell him how much I enjoyed it. Another friend exchanged a series of text messages with me about his divorce. One friend and I had so much fun chatting over Zoom for the first time in many years that we scheduled a second call and continued the conversation.

Shutting Down the Phone. The damned phone is a big part of the problem. I appreciate a smartphone for the glorious piece of technology that it is. However, I’m not naive enough to ignore the addictive features built within. I realized I needed to power my phone off to keep from picking it up. I deleted the social apps, switched it to grayscale, and turned off the dopamine-releasing notifications.

Positives of Social Media

I would be remiss not to talk a little about the positives of using social media. While I did delete the social media apps from my phone, I still logged in once a day to check my private messages. My break was not a break from being social; it was a break from social media.

I made the Twitter exception of checking my Nashville Weather list from time to time as dark clouds loomed, especially when I was on the lake.

I received a warm welcome back when I announced that I had returned from my break on August 1. Thank you to those who said hello.

If you missed the news that I had taken a break, I expect the algorithms failed to inform you. It makes sense; why would the platforms want to give you an idea to take your break?

How about you?

Have you ever taken a break from social media? How did it work for you?

In Defense of Nice

A while back, I sent a survey to my email newsletter subscribers. The Nice Makers were kind enough to provide me with feedback to help me shape future editions. One comment I received asked me to share my thoughts on “nice”.

As you know, the newsletter is The Nice Maker. I am the chief connector at Networking For Nice People, this blog is called The ROI of Nice. I’m obsessed with using nice as a way to improve how we communicate with one another.

Pleasant; agreeable; friendly

Look up the definition of nice and you will find words like pleasant; agreeable; friendly.

I write and think a lot about empathy and kindness. I believe this is at the core of effective communication. I consider myself a humanist. Humans are far from perfect, but we learn and pivot from the lessons in life that help us grow wiser together.

I believe in standing up for our rights. I believe in truth and justice (and justice reform). I believe that rather than striving to be angelic followers we should aim to be nice. Nice isn’t perfect. We aren’t always kind and we aren’t always empathetic, but I believe we become nicer when we strive to practice kindness and empathy.

Pleasant

We can be pleasant by simply smiling more. Smiling really is contagious. Sensorimotor stimulation in our brains causes us to mimic what we see without realizing it. When we mimic someone else’s facial expression, we trigger that same emotional state in ourselves, which then allows us to formulate an appropriate social response like returning a smile we receive.

Believe it or not, people can read your smiles even when they are hidden beneath masks. As a photographer, Laura Fuchs who shoots New Yorkers smiling behind their masks says, “I can see your smiles. It’s all in your eyes and cheekbones”.

Agreeable

Being agreeable is the essence of being nice. This is the practice of saying, “Nice, and…” when someone suggests something to you. This practice is always better than rejecting someone with a “Nice, but…”.

Try it next time someone suggests something to you. Spend a full day responding with “Nice, and…” in your reply. More details on this here.

Friendly

Approach the people in your life with an empathetic mind and a “nice, and” attitude. We express friendliness by doing so. My goal is to always make people feel comfortable whether they are in a workshop I’m leading, a meeting, or a casual encounter. The key to coming across this way is to actively listen to the people you meet.

Standing up is also nice

Using courage and facing fears are also traits of being nice - nice to yourself. Standing up for those who need it is nice. Being the person you needed when you were younger is nice. Nice isn’t complacent. Nice isn’t cowardness. Nice is respecting yourself and the good people in your life.

I’m pushing for a nicer world and this begins with me and you. Are you in?

Taking a Break

My head has been scattered lately. We have had to temporarily move from our home into a tiny, two-bedroom space for four people and a dog. Finding a quiet corner to work from has been practically impossible.

This move was due to the recent storms that gave our home and property a beating. The tornadoes, just two months earlier, destroyed my kid’s school and several favorite family spots. 

And we’ve had this damned pandemic. My son’s school band trip to New Orleans was canceled. Our NYC Broadway adventure for our daughter was postponed. I can’t visit Toronto to see my ill father and self-quarantined mother. Plus a summer trip to Europe to visit my brother was also canceled. First world problems, I know. We have our health and I am truly thankful for this.

My business has also taken a beating since most of my work involves public speaking and delivering corporate workshops. I have managed to switch some of this to virtual and I’m thankful the feedback has been great. I am also working with a few new coaching clients. Still, things are not quite where I need them to be professionally.

Summer Break for Planning & Producing 

I have frequently been distracted by social media and stories in the media that are out of my control. Instead, I should be focused on producing the research, outreach, and content that you will find valuable. Quite frankly, I feel the added distractions have pushed me off course enough to take a break - a summer break.

And so for the months of June and July, I’m going to pause The Nice Maker. I’m going to spend my days planning and producing. For the first time since I started using social media, I’m going to take a long-needed break. 

I always love to hear from you. I’ll still be scheduling video meetings and telephone calls. You can reach me at dave@futureforth.com anytime. I’ll keep an eye out for DMs, PMs, and such, but email will be your best bet. It’s time to unplug.

I’m excited to regain my focus and refresh my head. I expect great things will come as a result, I’m looking forward to sharing them with you in August. 

Enjoy your June and July. Stay safe and be nice to one another. 

Cheers!

PS:

If you’re craving some of my content, why not pick a blog post you might have missed?

Loneliness is Normal

It’s such a strange phenomenon to be self-quarantined with my family. I have my two teenaged kiddos home with us all day. They are often in their rooms working on school work, reading, gaming, or FaceTiming with friends. They spend the majority of the day hidden in their rooms. My better half is the same, she is happiest with a book but also helps the kids with their homework and has her own school work to do. Me, I’m working but I crave interaction. 

I was irritable for a couple of days in a row recently. I equated it to some future work concerns and our teenagers’ habits. I had a revelation yesterday while listening to Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast interview with the physician and former Surgeon General of the US, Dr. Vivek Murthy.

What was the revelation, Dave? You ask.

I’m lonely. 

You can have many people around you and still feel lonely.

Researchers and scientists say loneliness is a gap between the connections you need and the social connections you have. Loneliness is subjective, it’s different than objective terms like “isolation”. You can have many people around you and still feel lonely. 

According to the American Psychiatric Association, loneliness isn’t necessarily the same as being alone. It usually refers to the distress people feel when their social involvement and relationships are not what they want them to be, such as feeling left out or alone when they’d prefer to be involved or interacting with others.

According to Dr. Murthy, there is a deep stigma and shame that comes with loneliness. We feel that if we are lonely we are not likable or broken in some way. This stops us from admitting how we feel to ourselves. If it’s beyond our vision, we don’t discuss it. 

People describe loneliness as carrying an entire load by themselves, they feel like if they disappeared tomorrow nobody would care, or they feel like they are invisible. It doesn’t look like someone sitting by themself at a party. It can show up in different ways like fatigue, anger, social withdrawal, or irritability. 

3 Dimensions of Loneliness 

Dr. Murthy defines three dimensions of loneliness and explains that we need all three dimensions to feel socially connected. 

1. Intimate and emotional. We want a partner.

2. Relational and social. We crave friendships.

3. Collective loneliness. We want to belong to a community or network of people who share our interests. 

Any lack of relationships in these dimensions can lead to loneliness. So you can have a wonderfully intimate relationship with your spouse yet still feel lonely if you are lacking a community or friendships.

This is where approaching people for genuine connection instead of validation is key. 

Loneliness can also come from not being your true self. You need to connect to yourself by understanding your worth and value. This gives you the power to be yourself. 

If we spend time trying to be someone we are not it doesn’t feel good. Human instincts guide us to deeper connections to people. You feel emotionally drained when you are craving someone’s acceptance. Think of a date or meeting when you are nervous. You’re exhausted by the end because you are focusing on trying to please them.

Focus on the connection you have to yourself first. Recognizing this is powerful because you can observe how you interact with others. 

Check-in with how you are feeling during interactions. Be mindful of this. 

Loneliness has profound consequences for our health. It’s much more than just a bad feeling. Dr. Juliana Holdlongstand has done extensive research into this and discovered that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely than those with weak social relationships. She found the impact of lacking social connection on reducing lifespan is equal to the risk of smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is greater than the risk of obesity, excessive alcohol, and lack of exercise.

Dr. Holdlongstand studied multiple studies and found confirmation that this causes a higher risk of coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety. Loneliness can leave you with a lower quality of sleep, more immune system dysfunction, and more impulsive behavior and impaired judgment. 

Relationships are the foundation of dialogue. 

We, humans, are relational entities. We decide who we want to hang out with instinctively. If you spend five minutes openly talking to a neighbor, that gives you a shared experience and gives you insights into their values. What’s important is it’s an in-person (albeit 6-feet away) conversation.

These days everyone is connecting via web video chat services like Zoom, Skype, Hangouts, and via telephone and social media. Online dialogue is so challenging because there is no relational context. 

Visual cues like body language and facial expressions or tone of voice can also be missing from encounters on social media. This can easily lead to toxic exchanges online. 

The only way to address big issues is to talk with people. Today’s technology makes us think we know ‘the enemy’. We believe what we see and hear online and in the news. We end up feeling closer and more threatened to the people we are against. It’s crucial that we don’t feed the trolls. 

Stop watching the news frequently. 

You don’t really know the people you see online or in the news who you feel against. Step back and consider they are humans - be empathetic. There are parts of everybody that are lovable to others. Consider what the people you feel against are scared about. Everyone has something that makes them lovable and something that they are scared about. This is called mutual vulnerability.

There is a cognitive bias called motive attribution asymmetry. This tells us our beliefs are grounded in love and our opponents’ beliefs are grounded in hatred. The contempt that results in this bias is visceral and righteous. It feeds intolerance and the same emotional stew that makes loneliness so toxic. 

People don’t trust each other’s motives. This leads to motive attribution asymmetry. The only way to get past this is to build true, authentic relationships with each other. The only way to do this is to open up and be vulnerable. 

We get signals telling us who we need to be. The definition of success and worth is often led by our ability to acquire wealth, reputation, and power. The reality is the true definition of worth is about the ability to give and receive love. It requires courage to be vulnerable, the ability to recognize our values. Society tells us to chase the false gods of wealth, reputation, and power. 

Dr. Murthy explained that he is worried we are not setting our children up to believe in themselves and recognize their true source of power and self-worth. Instead, we are telling them their value is conditional on the acquisition of extrinsic things and circumstances. 

Human Nature.

Hunter-gatherers being separated from their tribes once led to loneliness. This meant our likelihood of survival went down because we were more likely to be killed by a predator or have a lack of food supply. Our threat level would shift up and we would focus inward because of our lack of safety. We need one another it is human nature.

When you try to interact with someone who has an elevated threat level, it makes it harder to connect with them. Loneliness chips away at our self-esteem. It makes us think we are not lovable or likable.

We need to make a conscious decision in our culture to shift what self-worth is defined by. Understand shame and empathy. Shame corrodes our capacity for empathy of others because it is so self-focused. When we do this we will continue to lead people to a place where they don’t feel they are enough, which is a recipe for loneliness. 

Loneliness reveals the power of human connection in our life.

Loneliness reveals the power of human connection in our life. The power of that connection can heal deep trauma. Authentic, open relationships lead to love. There is nothing more powerful than love. We need to strive to move us as a society to value connection and put people at the center of our lives and society. 

It’s normal to feel lonely. I felt much better when I shared this discovery with my family. It turns out we all feel lonely and it’s perfectly normal during this ‘new normal’ pandemic life we are living. 

I encourage you to give the full podcast interview a listen. I also recommend picking up Dr. Murthy’s book, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash.

How to Stay Sane During a Pandemic

I have a tip to help you keep your sanity as you are social distancing at home. This doesn’t involve creative ways to exercise while hunkered down. It doesn’t include a sourdough bread recipe or a Netflix recommendation. It involves some reflection.

I’ve been thinking about how much worse being stuck inside at home would be if I was living in the past.

This could have happened back in 2002 when we had a 725-square-foot condo in Toronto. It was nice but small for two people. We were newlyweds, but I expect Heather would have left me if we had been stuck together this long (I wouldn’t have blamed her). We had even considered staying there when we got pregnant, but it would have been terrible for three and even worse for a family of four. Imagine parents with two young children stuck in such small quarters during a pandemic?

We once shared an apartment with five flatmates in Edinburgh, Scotland. We had one telephone, one bathroom, one kitchen (and one bottle of Fairy) between all seven of us. This was before Netflix. We had to walk several blocks to the video store to rent movies. Renting movies wouldn’t have been possible being locked indoors with businesses shuttered. We had no internet, only internet cafes blocks away that would have also been closed.

It could have been far worse. We could be in Galway, Ireland sharing a tiny apartment with three unpredictably, irrational flatmates (no, not you Ben, Aaron, and Maura, a different place). One flatmate was temperamental, one was a psychotic gypsy, and the other was a criminal. We didn’t have a television in our room back then. We had a lock on the door to sleep (somewhat) peacefully. Quarantining in that place would have been hell.

If COVID-19 had arrived in 1988, I would have been living alone in a dark, musty, basement apartment. That “swanky” bachelor pad (err, dump) had one tiny, ground-level window facing some bushes and only one room. It didn’t even have an oven for baking precious sourdough bread, it came with a hotplate. COVID-88 would have sucked.

Try Reflecting

Reflecting on some of the places I have lived has made me more empathetic. I consider the different scenarios that other people are going through today. This perspective has left me much more content as I continue to hunker down with my amazing family.

We have our health. We have a roof over our heads. We have an oven and enough yeast to bake sourdough bread (we haven’t tried yet). We have a treadmill, Netflix, and even toilet paper. We are going to be okay.

I’m just going to resist boasting about it online.

Reflect on what you have now compared to the past. Consider how others must be dealing with living in such close quarters under these unpredictable, unfortunate days.

Stay safe, friends. Be kind. Wash your hands.

Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash.

On Washing Your Hands

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I’ve been washing my hands much more often and with greater intent lately. I hope the same applies to you.

The other day I discovered a fun tool to help reinforce the practice of washing your hands. A big shout out goes to William Gibson who created Wash Your Lyrics.

Before dinner, I asked my family to name their favorite songs. I plugged each song title into Wash Your Lyrics and printed a mini-poster to refer to as they scrubbed up. I’ve included The Tragically Hip’s “Bobcaygeon” here as an example.

Some Thoughts on Washing Your Hands

But seriously folks…

As I was cleaning my hands the other day something occurred to me. I pictured who I was washing my hands for. I imagined my kids and Heather. My friends, family, neighbors, our community, and perhaps even humanity. Oh, and myself too.

As the soapy suds dripped down the drain from my fingers, I began to take deep breaths. In deeply for a few seconds, out deeply for a few seconds. I looked in the mirror and pictured the people in my life and how much I love them.

Who are you washing your hands for?

Random Acts of Kindness for the Office

Random Acts of Kindness Week comes each February. For much of the world, February weather sucks. Just looking out of the window as I write this is a reminder. It’s been gray and raining endlessly in Nashville over the past few days. Perhaps this is why Random Acts of Kindness was created during this dreary month. Let’s brighten it up, shall we?

The following is a list of twenty-five ideas you can use at work to be nice to your colleagues and to yourself. I encourage you to print this list and pin it above your desk or stick it on the wall in your kitchen to share the ideas. Even though you are encouraged to deliver random acts of kindness during the official week, there is nothing stopping you from doing so during the fifty-one other weeks of the year.

Kindness releases feel-good hormones

As Maile Proctor writes, “kindness releases feel-good hormones. Have you ever noticed that when you do something nice for someone else, it makes you feel better too? This isn’t just something that happens randomly—it has to do with the pleasure centers in your brain.”

She continues, “Doing nice things for others boosts your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of satisfaction and well-being. Like exercise, altruism also releases endorphins, a phenomenon known as a “helper’s high.”

25 Tips for Being Nice at Work

1. Buy a coffee, grab creamers and sugar, and deliver them to the first person you see at work. This could be a custodian, receptionist, security person, colleague, stranger. 

2. Hold the door open for someone. 

3. Give someone a compliment for the good work they do. Or the cool shoes they are wearing. 

4. Smile.

5. Take a private bathroom break to practice a short meditation. I’m a fan of Sam Harris’s Waking Up app. 

6. Send a positive text, Slack, or instant message to a colleague. 

7. As companies grow it is common not to recognize everybody. Talk to a colleague you don’t know. Invite them with you for lunch.

8. Hold the elevator door open for someone. Say hello to your fellow passenger.

9. Tape two dollars to the vending machine. 

10. Tidy the kitchen. Clean out the microwave. Empty the fridge. 

11. Be a hero. Make a pot of coffee.

12. Surprise your team by bringing donuts or baking something special.

13. Write a LinkedIn recommendation. Connect your LinkedIn connections.

14. Choose to forgive and accept people for who they are.

15. Write a list of what you are thankful for.

16. Leave a huge tip for a barista or a server.

17. Pay the toll or bus fare for the person behind you. 

18. Put your phone away when you are around other people. 

19. Write a complimentary LinkedIn post about a colleague and tag them.

20. Work without headphones. Raise your head from your computer and smile at each person who walks by. Consider your resting face.

21. Compliment a colleague to your manager. Write them an email about how awesome the person is.

22. Interject a kind comment when people are gossiping.

23. Give a colleague a copy of a book that impacted you.

24. Write a list of all the things you enjoy about your work.

25. Listen intently as someone is speaking to you. Use the L.I.S.T.E.N. acronym (VIDEO).

Your Turn…

Download this as a PDF to print and share with your colleagues to brighten up the day.

Photo by Sandrachile on Unsplash.

5 Must Hear Podcasts about Presentations. Are you subscribed?

As a keynote speaker, I am always working to improve my craft and my business. I find plugging peers into my ears via podcasts is a fantastic way to learn new methodologies of the craft of public speaking.

Even if you are not striving to grow a speaking business, you must admit that you can always improve how you communicate. Perhaps you will have a presentation to deliver to your board, an all-hands meeting for your staff, a pitch to investors, a wedding toast or eulogy. You can always improve how you communicate by learning from master communicators.

5 Must Subscribe Podcasts to Improve Your Presentation Skills

Steal the Show with Michael Port

Every day, there are moments when you must persuade, inform, and motivate others effectively. Each of these moments requires you in some way, to play a role to heighten the impact of your words, and manage your emotions and nerves. Every interaction is a performance whether you’re speaking up in a meeting, pitching a client, or walking into a job interview. Michael’s great voice and inspiring delivery will keep you hooked from the very first episode. Web | Apple Podcasts

Standing Ovation with Jay Baer

Standing Ovation, hosted by keynote speaker and emcee Jay Baer is where the very best public speakers reveal the secrets behind their greatest successes. In each episode, listeners hear a legendary on-stage story from a world-class speaker, and then hear Jay and his guest dissect and discuss that story. How are the best on-stage stories (some of them decades old) found, written, polished, and changed? When do they work best? When do they bomb? Web | Apple Podcasts

The Speaker Lab with Grant Baldwin

Grant Baldwin from The Speaker Lab podcast shares speaking business tactics, tips, and strategies from his own experience, case studies, and interviewing the experts. Whether you're just getting started trying to get your first booking or you're a veteran speaker looking to build and grow your business, this is for you. Web | Apple Podcasts

The Freenoter with Tamsen and Tom Webster

Introducing The Freenoter! There are lots of resources out there on how to become a paid speaker or keynoter, but what if you speak to build your business, as a FREEnoter? Each week, join Tamsen and Tom Webster as they cover all the angles of how to profit from speaking for free. If you are looking to grow your business from the stage--without "selling from the stage," this is the show for you. We will cover EVERY aspect of building your business through speaking, and even share a different craft cocktail recipe every week, just because. Web | Apple Podcasts

Good One with Jesse David Fox

(NSFW) Each week, a comedian will play one of their jokes and then break it down with Vulture.com Senior Editor Jesse David Fox. The is a podcast about - well - jokes, and the people who tell them. Web | Apple Podcasts

Each of these stellar shows will teach you the ins and outs of the speaking business. You will learn countless performance techniques and business development skills that will help you next time you are delivering a presentation or a speech.

Let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you.

Save up to $300,000* by adding this item to your to-do list

I advocate for being nice to everyone you encounter each day. Yes, it sometimes takes a bit of empathy to return a smile and keep your patience intact.

Leaders of organizations can measure the result of being nice. The best way to do this is to recognize each team member frequently enough to make them feel proud of the work they do. A compliment goes a long way.

I recommend leaders add this item to their daily to-do lists.

Today I recognized ____________________________________

A quick pat on the back and compliment will make a person’s day. Happier staff feel more positive and are less likely to find a job elsewhere. As I mentioned, do this to be nice first and foremost. Then consider the cost of replacing an unhappy employee.

The ROI of Nice

How much does it cost to replace an unhappy team member? 

Entry-level employees - 30-50% of their annual salary.

Mid-level employees - upwards of 150% of their annual salary.

High-level or highly specialized employees - 400% of their annual salary.

If you are a 150-person company with 11% annual turnover, and you spend $25,000 per-person on hiring, $10,000 each on turnover and development, and lose $50,000 of productivity opportunity cost on average when refilling a role, then your annual cost of turnover would be about $1.57 million. Reducing this by just 20%, for example, would immediately yield over $300,000 in value. And that says nothing of the emotional headache and cultural drain felt from losing great people*. - Source: https://blog.employerscouncil.org/2017/06/28/costs-of-turnover/

Do you want to improve how nice you are to yourself, your team, and your community? Recognize a team member each day of the week. I cover this and much more in The ROI of Nice presentation.

Photo by Lukas from Pexels.

A Two-Sided Ball and Emotional Intelligence

The Two Colored Ball Experiment

The experiment consists of showing a two-color-sided ball to a two or three-year-old child. Let’s say one side is red and the other is green. You sit on the floor across from the child and rapidly spin the ball, so the child sees the different colors. After spinning the ball, you place it between each of you with only the red side facing the child and the green side facing you.

When you ask the child what color they see. They will correctly say “red”. When you ask what color am I seeing, they will also answer “red”.

The child can’t take the role of the other. They can’t see it through your eyes. They are seeing the world in a completely different way. As they get older (around six or seven-years-old) they will recognize both colors and answer correctly. They will understand that you are seeing the world from a different perspective.

Ego-centrism, Group-centrism, World-centrism

As you age you can see the world with different perspectives and ethical development.

Young children see the world in an ego-centric manner. Egocentrism is the inability to differentiate between self and others. They don’t assume or understand any perspective other than their own.

As we age, we see the world in a group-orientated way. These groups can come from our tribes, families, communities, cultures, political affiliations, and religions. Problems arise here because we choose sides and become pigheaded. Does this sound familiar these days?

Ultimately we should strive to gain a world-centric perspective. This is where we care for all living things regardless of who they are.

Improve your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, evaluate, and respond to your own emotions and the emotions of others. One way to improve your emotional intelligence is to put yourself in the role of the other person.

Imagine you have your two-colored ball between you and who you are talking with. Always try to see the ball as the other person. This is what being nice is all about.

Be sure to listen to all three parts of Futurethinkers podcast interview with philosopher Ken Wilber, the creator of Integral Theory and one of the key figures in the area of consciousness studies of our time.