Let’s begin by describing empathy in a sentence from Wikipedia. Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position.

This means we need to put aside our differences at work or outside with friends and family. We also need to stop and think about where someone is coming from before replying to their tweet or Facebook post. Perhaps we need not reply at all.

Sympathy vs Empathy

Empathy is often confused with sympathy. Sympathy is a feeling of pity or sorrow. Brené Brown references nursing scholar Theresa Wiseman's four attributes of empathy, which I discovered in Kate Thieda’s excellent article, Brené Brown on Empathy vs. Sympathy.

1. To be able to see the world as others see it—This requires putting your own "stuff" aside to see the situation through your loved one's eyes.

2. To be nonjudgmental—Judgement of another person's situation discounts the experience and is an attempt to protect ourselves from the pain of the situation.

3. To understand another person’s feelings—We have to be in touch with our own feelings in order to understand someone else's. Again, this requires putting your own "stuff" aside to focus on your loved one.

4. To communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings—Rather than saying, "At least you..." or "It could be worse..." try, "I've been there, and that really hurts," or (to quote an example from Brown), "It sounds like you are in a hard place now. Tell me more about it.”

What are the three types of empathy?

Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman break down the concept of empathy into the following three categories. I encourage you to read Justin Bariso’s full article, Here's How They Differ--and How You Can Develop Them All.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand how a person feels and what they might be thinking. Cognitive empathy makes us better communicators, because it helps us relay information in a way that best reaches the other person. 

Emotional empathy (also known as affective empathy) is the ability to share the feelings of another person. Some have described it as "your pain in my heart." This type of empathy helps you build emotional connections with others. 

Compassionate empathy (also known as empathic concern) goes beyond simply understanding others and sharing their feelings: it actually moves us to take action, to help however we can. 

Be nice by practicing empathy

Want to be nicer? Consider what the person is going through. Put yourself in their shoes. Actively listen to what they are telling you. Connect what they are going through to something that has happened to you (keep this to yourself). Then take action by offering to help them with something specific. What can you do or offer to help?

Did you know a two-sided ball teach us about empathy?

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash.

The following are fifteen ways I am unnice. Feel free to borrow these if you are trying not to be nice. I would argue that being nice will get you further ahead in life, but arguing isn't nice. Is it?

15 ways to be unnice

Yelling at my kids.

Comparing myself to others.

Getting angry at people who drive slowly in the passing lane (that’s the one on the left).

Eating junk food and sugar.

Losing my patience.

Skipping my daily meditation practice.

Ignoring the dog.

Getting frustrated with people.

Procrastinating on the work that will move me forward.

Consuming wisdom and doing nothing with the new-found knowledge.

Overeating.

Drinking alcohol.

Not accepting people for who they are.

Judging others.

Skipping exercise.

Your Turn

How are you unnice?

Photo by Kido Dong on Unsplash.

I came across the term “humble inquiry” in an article about popular leadership books. This phrase stood out to me to perfectly summarize the best way we can meet new people and lead teams. Ultimately, we can learn to be nice communicators.

The term was coined by Edgar Schein, who authored a book with the same title, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Schein specialized in organizational development, career development, group process consultation, and organizational culture. His definition of Humble Inquiry perfectly captures my thoughts on the topics of asking and listening.

Humble Inquiry is “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”

Schein writes, “Ultimately the purpose of Humble Inquiry is to build relationships that lead to trust which, in turn, leads to better communication and collaboration.”

The next time you are in a position to ask questions of your colleagues, prospects, and clients, consider these wise words.

“Don’t we all know how to ask questions? Of course, we think we know how to ask, but we fail to notice how often even our questions are just another form of telling—rhetorical or just testing whether what we think is right. We are biased toward telling instead of asking because we live in a pragmatic, problem-solving culture in which knowing things and telling others what we know is valued.”

Ask questions you don’t know the answers to. Be genuinely curious about who you speak with.

Don’t miss this YouTube video of Edgar Schein discussing “Humble Inquiry”. This is the basis of building any type of relationship.

Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash.

I’m writing the next sentences in my best Julia Child voice... Combine a large pot of stellar speaking skills with several dollops of branding and marketing smarts. Mix a fresh bunch of humor, several cups of creativity, sprigs of kindness. Add these ingredients together, bake, and voilà - Ron Tite!

Ron is the president and CEO of Church + State, a creative agency in Toronto. He is also the author of the new book, Think. Do. Say. How to seize attention and build trust in a busy, busy world. I loved it!

I’ve been lucky enough to spend time with Ron over the last several years. We both belong to a speaker mastermind group called Speak & Spill. Ron has also graciously shared ideas and feedback with me. He’s a solid fellow, but let’s get back to that book.

The following are my takeaways from Think. Do. Say. I highly recommend you pick up a copy for yourself if you work with an agency or marketing firm. The book is full of case studies and examples of how we can improve everything we do by focusing on our beliefs, actions, and communication.

Key Takeaways from Think Do Say

Three pillars of great organizations know:

What they think

What they do

What they say

Your clients don’t know where to look and they don’t know who to trust.

Move from being product-focused to purpose-focused.

Believing isn’t enough. You have to act to reinforce your beliefs.

What you do immediately following an integrity gap will say more about your character than what you did before.

Believe in something more important than your bottom line. 

Answer the following questions

What’s your essential do?

Who do you do it for?

What do they want you to do?

Who do you do it with?

It’s easier to come up with a revolutionary idea to topple the establishment when you’re not a part of it.

Want people to look in your direction? Start solving their real problems before someone else does. 

The first step to innovation is improving the efficiency of what you already do. 

Honesty and transparency lead to trust. And trust leads to momentum. 

True authenticity is being comfortable with your imperfections. 

Something we’ve never seen before will get our attention.

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I wanted to close this blog post with a Julia Child quote (there’s even one in the book). I found the perfect one that sums up Ron and his work, “Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”

One last Julia Child quote because I couldn’t resist, “A party without cake is just a meeting.”

Now go order your copy of Think. Do. Say. You will be glad you did.

Photo from Flickr by the awesome Dave Barger. Dave Delaney speaking at BarCamp Nashville in 2008.

Do a Google search for “public speaking tips” and you will find 313,000,000 results. I hope I can share a few tips here that you may not be familiar with.

This post came as a result of me doing a recent search for a specific image on Flickr. That’s when I happened upon this photo by the late, great Dave Barger. I hadn’t seen the photo in years. I was surprised to note the photo is from 2008.

I’ve been presenting to audiences for over ten years.

Dave’s photo made me reflective on the lessons I have learned. I’ve presented to audiences in the thousands and in the tens, so I decided to share a few tips I hope you find useful.

Whether you are just getting started as a speaker or you’ve been doing this a long time, I hope these lessons help you.

Public Speaking Tips You Haven’t Heard Before

I always ask conference organizers the following questions, “What does success look like in the minds of your audience?” and “Who are the most popular speakers you have had? What made them stand out?” This information helps me craft my presentation with the audience in mind.

Give the audience a way to get in touch with you after your presentation. Include a slide with your URL/email/phone number/social. Bonus points for leaving them something of value like a digital download of your presentation or cheat sheet with takeaways from your talk. I use a text-to-download service for this*. Anyone who downloads the PDF also gets subscribed to my email newsletter. This is noted before they download the document, so they can choose not to if they prefer.

* If you use such a service and you’re speaking in a different country be sure this will still work.

Always talk to the AV team before your talk. They are there to support you (not work for you). Do a mic and presentation test to be sure everything looks and works the way you expect. Test it from the stage not the AV booth. Don’t rely on a solid Wi-Fi connection. Embed videos if you plan to include them.

Avoid using other peoples' equipment whenever possible. If you must use their equipment, test it ahead of time. For example, the range of the clicker may not be wide enough for you to work the entire stage or move around the floor. 

Get as much information as possible about the audience. The more you know, the better you can make your presentation. 

Research the city. I search the city in Google News to find topics I should mention and perhaps avoid. 

Eat locally. I try to plug a local restaurant or coffee shop I discovered before the event. Audiences appreciate you spending your money locally instead of hiding in your hotel room or going to a chain restaurant. 

Be respectful to the organizers, audience, and other speakers by staying on time. I just bought a small countdown timer to pack along with my gear. Other speakers I know use their watches, iPads, and apps. Keynote and Powerpoint also include a timer if you are presenting with you computer in view.

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I hope these tips will serve you well. Leave a comment with your favorite public speaking tip. I’m always learning, even though I’ve been doing this for a while

Pick up a copy of Same Side Selling.

For the first few years of my adventures in entrepreneurship, I told friends and colleagues that I’m not good at sales. I would explain that my expertise is in marketing and communications, but not sales. Guess what, I was wrong. I had to be.

I had always thought of sales in the worst possible way. I envisioned the cheesy, pushy, used-car sales guy. Or the uppity, asshat in business class on his second cocktail before takeoff.

One day, it dawned on me that if I run my own business and I am not good at sales, I’m in big trouble. If I am my only employee, I had better be damned great at sales or my family will suffer. 

Spoiler alert: You don’t have to be a jerk to excel in sales.

I went out on my own as a consultant and professional trainer and speaker in 2011. I’m happy to report that I have increased my earnings each year. I have become more knowledgable in how best to approach sales, but I don’t consider myself an expert.

One true sales expert I personally know is Ian Altman, co-author (along with Jack Quarles) of Same Side Selling: How Integrity and Collaboration Drive Extraordinary Results for Sellers and Buyers. I absolutely loved the lessons and approach to sales taught in their excellent book. Spoiler alert: You don’t have to be a jerk to excel in sales.

In this short blog post, I’m going to share some key takeaways directly from Same Side Selling. There is much more within the book that you should not miss. Pick up a copy.

Same Side Selling Takeaways

There is an adversarial trap that causes buyers and sellers to work against each other instead of collaborating. Replace this trap with a cooperative, collaborative mindset. 

Selling is not a game because in a game one side wins and the other loses.

Selling is a puzzle. With a puzzle, you are solving. You create something and over time provide value. People sit on the same side to determine if the pieces fit. It’s better to solve puzzles than play games. 

Same side selling is about finding the fit. FIT. Finding Impact Together.

The objective is to be seen as a solver instead of a seller.

Answer the questions:

• Whom do you help?

• What do you do to help them?

• Why do they need your help?

The most successful pitch will resonate with the prospect’s pain.

Find people who not only face problems you can solve, but also recognize those problems and believe they are worth solving.

Focus on the challenges that your client is facing, rather than on the things you are selling. 

Entice. Disarm. Discover.

• Entice. Entice the customer by identifying something you have that might be of interest.

• Disarm. Make it clear that you are not there to sell, but want merely to see if there is a fit. 

• Discover. Trigger a discovery phase in which you learn about them (instead of opening a meeting talking about your stuff). 

The truth is always your ally in same side selling, even when it seems to decrease the likeliness of making a sale. 

Ask who else is affected by this project? How can we engage them in a way that works for you?

Don’t start with your qualifications. Start with the buyer’s problem

Gracefully guide the conversation away from details and toward impact.

It is not the client’s job to see the big picture.

If your price is too high don’t discount. Rather expand the scope to create more value.

What do you think?

How do you handle sales? Are you an expert or a novice? What sales lessons have you learned over the years?

Email is distracting me from everything else.

It’s been years since it was paramount that I be available at all hours of the day. I managed social media for two technology companies. To do my job well, it was essential that I monitored our brands and was available to assist our customers when need be. That was over eight years ago. 

In 2005 B.i. (Before iPhone) days, I was commissioned a Blackberry by my employer. I remember that blinking red light often represented urgent matters related to my role in rebranding an entire television network across Canada. I was dealing with issues across six time zones! 

These days, I still get urgent emails from time to time, but it’s seldom. I am thankful that I have few fires that need extinguishing now.

When I worked for the television network, my boss did something inspiring. This is something I am implementing today. Walter had an out of office email auto-reply on all of the time. It read something like…

Thanks for your message. I check my email twice a day at 9:00 am and 4:00 pm. If the matter is urgent, please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. 

I am certain this inspiring move made Walter more productive. I know this because of the amount of time I find I am stuck in my inbox. This has inspired me to repeat this method and combine it with only checking social media at specific times of the day (or taking months off entirely). It’s time to get more serious with my goals to produce better content.

By managing the email expectations of my clients, prospects, and colleagues, I can now focus more time on the work I need to do. Blocking myself from checking email and removing notifications allows me to improve my productivity and focus.

“Turn off your email; turn off your phone; disconnect from the Internet; figure out a way to set limits so you can concentrate when you need to, and disengage when you need to. Technology is a good servant but a bad master.”

— Gretchen Rubin  

How will you be remembered?

Have you ever thought about what’s going to be in your obituary? Does this sound morbid? Stick with me for a minute. 

When I was a child, I was lucky to spend a few summers attending Kilcoo Camp. While I certainly suffered from feeling homesick, I also made new friends and learned many skills I still use today (I’m not too shabby in a canoe). 

The camp was run by John “Chief” and Peggy “Mrs. Chief” Latimer. I remember many warm moments speaking with Chief and his sons (who run the camp today) about missing home. He was always keen to help me overcome being homesick and made sure I was connecting with the other kids.  

In 2003, Chief sadly passed away. I saw in his obituary that a celebration of his life would be held at St. James Cathedral in Toronto. Everyone in Toronto is familiar with the sound of the bells ringing at St. James; it is one of the largest churches in the city with the biggest peal of bells in North America.

I mention the size of the church because when I arrived for the service, I was shocked (but not surprised) at the number of people present. There were so many people in attendance that they overflowed to the park around the church where the service was amplified through speakers. Chief touched thousands of people’s lives through his work at Kilcoo Camp. His legacy of being a kind, sweet, smart man lives on. 

Thinking about your legacy

I recently watched best-selling novelist Brad Meltzer’s TEDx talk “How To Write Your Own Obituary.” In it, he describes the different types of legacy that you will leave.

Try this exercise for yourself. Write down and separate all of the things you do for yourself versus what you do for other people. Those things for yourself will be the least remembered — your resume will fade. Your legacy is what you do for other people and the impact those actions have on their lives. This very much is in line with my approach to networking, nicely — always find ways to help others. 

Meltzer describes types of legacy.

Personal. You are your parent’s legacy. The way you interact and help your siblings will be remembered. How you raise your children and how you treat your spouse make up your family legacy.

Friends and colleagues. Helping your friends and treating them kindly will play a major role in your legacy. I believe we should find ways to support our friends beyond simple Facebook likes. Reach out over the phone or coffee.

Community. Who will remember your name? The people in your community will remember you for your participation and contributions. What have you done to help the people in your community?

I loved The Business of Expertise How Entrepreneurial Experts Convert Insight to Impact + Wealth. Author, David Baker is brilliant. The content of this book will make you stop to question your brand's positioning as you strive for expertise. As Baker points out, "If you are positioned well, then they find very few substitutes."

The Business of Expertise contains plenty of wisdom and actionable steps you can take to becoming a true expert. He also includes important advice about self-confidence and self-improvement.

Here are some takeaways directly from the book. I highly recommend you pick up a copy for much more wisdom, context, and steps for you to achieve expertise in your space.

25 Takeaways from The Business of Expertise

1. Personal relationships are not about giving in order to get.

2. Good positioning makes you non-interachangable.

3. If you are positioned well, then they find very few substitutes.

4. Expertise blends knowledge with self-awareness of that knowledge.

5. You need to earn your positioning.

6. We gravitate to where we excel.

7. Clients are drawn to confidence.

8. If I find a much lower price than I would expect, I know that they don’t have much confidence.

9. Confidence also comes when we say “no”.

10. You should always have a list with getting to “know” topics on it.

11. People don’t die “doing what they love” unless they love dying.

12. Just doing what you love and making no money does nobody any favors.

13. Just because you are good at something, even enjoy it, doesn’t mean that you are good at making money doing it.

14. Make expertise the addiction.

15. Money is the currency of respect, and the customer of an expert treats the advice more seriously if it comes with a hefty bill.

16. Consultants who interview employees at client engagements look brilliant early in the process.

17. Without strong positioning and the opportunity that stems from effectively applied lead generations, you are stuck with whatever opportunities fall in your lap instead of making your own success.

18. Don’t add additional goals to your life until you decide which ones you’re going to drop. There is as much power in stopping something as there is in starting.

19. Ask yourself “Okay. What is my role in the world?” - ask often.

20. The only two kinds of experts who aren’t generally busy are new to the game or are incompetent.

21. Choose between vertical and horizontal positioning.

22. A great client may bring you new clients through career changes.

23. Positioning is public and must be declared.

24. Clients want to work with experts in demand.

25. You’ll never get discovered and followed unless you’re an expert, but you’ll never be a good expert unless you’re grounded.

Pick up a copy of The Business of Expertise today to dive into the takeaways I shared above.

This coffee catch up was way overdue. I love that Marcus Whitney recorded it and shared it with his friends, fans, and followers. I wanted to do the same here because there is so much great content within. Marcus is a good soul, be sure to check him out.

What we talk about:

• public speaking

• improving workplace communication

• book writing

• LinkedIn best practices

• entrepreneurship

• social networking

• social media

• podcasting

Do you have questions or comments? Drop them down below and I’ll do my best to help you.

Have you ever been afraid to ask for a raise, promotion, new client, or a favor?

You probably have. I’ve faced this fear throughout my career. I believe overcoming this fear is key to success.

I interviewed over fifty entrepreneurs on my former podcast. I’ve listened to the interviews many times to extract lessons for my own business and career. One of the reoccurring points I kept coming across was that we must overcome our unfounded fears.

We must not fear asking because we don’t get what we don’t ask for. 

This doesn't mean we should pester people or solicit them constantly. However, we need to muster up the courage to make the ask. Failure isn’t rejection, failure is not asking in the first place.

I recently went through a process of reviewing all of my 3,000-plus Facebook friends. Obviously, most aren’t close friends at all, some I don’t even know.

Evolutionary anthropologist, Robin Dunbar, concluded we can only manage up to 150 friendships. This breaks down as 50 people who are close friends and just 15 who are our closest friends. 

It's interesting to note that these friends can often drift in and out of different groups within this number. His study is famously known as “Dunbar Number”.

Last year, I composed a Facebook message and began asking each person who I considered a friend to help me promote my Communication Mastery workshops. And guess what, most of them happily did. Only one person declined. By asking my friends to help me spread the word, I had hoped my message would spread to new people who may become clients. Side note, this is also a good exercise to realize who your true friends are, they are the ones who are happy to help you.

I am thankful my friends came to the plate to help me spread the word. They likely wouldn’t have had I not asked. I can’t say with certainty that new clients came as a result. However, I did see a substantial increase in visits to the workshop page as my friends helped promote it across social media.

I wasn’t offended when one friend declined to help me. As I mentioned above, failure isn’t rejection, failure is not asking in the first place.

Instead of asking yourself what will happen if I ask? Ask yourself, what will happen if I don’t ask? 

Have you ever gazed out of a car window as you traveled along a long country road? Did you see cows along the way? Probably. Did you note anything special about our bovine friends? Probably not. Why not? Because cows are boring*. 

Now what if you drove along that road and suddenly saw a purple cow? Whoa! Now that’s worth talking about, right? 

Seth Godin is Marketing Yoda

Seth Godin is a powerhouse in the world of marketing, he is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, and speaker. Google “Seth” and he’s sure to be the first result. I heard him referred to as the “marketing Yoda” on a podcast recently, Godin quickly added that he’s better looking than Yoda. I concur. 

I’m writing this on a flight home to Nashville from a speaking engagement in Yuma, AZ. Yuma is a three-hour drive from the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. I didn’t see any purple cows to and from Yuma, with the exception of my copy of Godin’s best-selling book, Purple Cow - Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable. I had read the book many years ago, but the information didn’t sink into my thick head at the time. I remember enjoying it, but it wasn’t as relevant at that juncture in my career.

My flights to and from Phoenix gave me plenty of time to re-read Godin’s inspirational book. This time, his words left me filled with ideas to implement for my business. The following are twenty-five takeaways from Purple Cow. There is obviously much more to the book, it is a must-read for business leaders from small organizations to large companies.

25 Takeaways from Purple Cow

1. It’s cheaper to keep an old customer than it is to get a new one.

2. The leader is the leader because he did something remarkable.

3. It’s safer to be risky.

4. (Make your service) easy to talk about and easy to demonstrate.

5. The way you break through to the mainstream is to target a niche instead of a huge market. With a niche, you can segment off a chunk of the mainstream, and create an idea virus so focused that it overwhelms that small slice of the market that really and truly will respond to what you sell.

6. Services that are worth talking about get talked about.

7. Your ads (and products) should cater to the customers you’d choose if you could choose your customers. 

8. Criticism comes to those who stand out.

9. Being safe is risky.

10. Boring always leads to failure.

11. Make a list of ways you can catch up by being different.

12. Measurement means admitting what’s broken so you can fix it.

13. If you measure it, it will improve. 

14. (You) have a lot to gain by changing the rules of the game.

15. They’re not trying to interrupt strangers; they’re selling to the converted (Pearl Jam).

16. Otaku is the desire to find out everything about something.

17. Smart businesses target markets where there’s already otaku.

18. Go for the edges. Sketch out where your edges are…and where your competition is.

19. Discover the fringes that make your competitors’ products remarkable.

20. Find your positioning statement.

21. You can’t build a fast-growing company around vanilla.

22. Are you obsessed or just making a living? 

23. The number-one question about the Purple Cow is, “How do I know it’s remarkable.”

24. Instead of selling what we wanted to sell, we sold what people wanted us to sell, and then figured out how to make money doing it.

25. It’s not about being weird. It’s about being irresistible to a tiny group of easily reached sneezers** with otaku. Irresistible (for the right niche) is just remarkable.

Have you read Purple Cow? Did you act on what you learned? If so, what were the results? 

* I apologize to any normal cows reading this. 
** You’ll have to read Purple Cow to find out what a sneezer is (not as gross as you think). 

I’m finally getting around to sharing what I learned in Donald Miller’s Building a Story Brand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen. I’ve heard great things about this book from multiply friends since it’s publishing in 2017. I finally read the book late last year and it did not disappoint. It led me to rethink many of the aspects of my own brand. Who the hell is Dave Delaney? As Miller writes, “If you confuse, you lose.”

In order to understand and create your brand you must have a clear story. In a story, audiences must always know who the hero is, what the hero wants, who the hero has to defeat to get what they want.

Take my communication workshops for example. The Hero is the person who hires me for a workshop, usually the CEO, COO, or HR Director. The Hero wants to improve his or her workplace culture by improving communication. The Hero is trying to defeat a potential toxic work environment and employee churn because both are costly concerns.

Customers don’t typically care about your story; they care about their own. Customers buy solutions to internal problems. By talking about the problems our customers face, we deepen their interest in everything we offer.

When we fail to define something our customer want, we fail to open a “story gap” with a single focus. We must define a specific desire and become known for helping people achieve it. That’s certainly what I am working on.

The specific desire for my clients is to improve communication. The Master Communicator’s Secret Weapon is my keynote presentation designed to help audiences use my advice to help them achieve their desire.

Miller writes, “When we frame our products as a resolution to both external and internal problems we increase the perceived value.” For example, part of what I teach is how to improve listening and how to lead with acceptance. Doing this in the workplace improves employee morale. Doing this outside with prospects, clients, and even friends and family improves sales and life in general.

Miller points out that, “A brand that positions itself as the hero is destined to lose.” This isn’t about me. It’s about you and helping you achieve success with your team. My brand is the guide that will help you. I truly care about helping you and your people. Miller reminds us that to succeed we must care.

Talk about the end vision. For what I do, it’s leaving you with a team who are better connected, listening more effectively, open to change, thinking quickly on their feet, leading with acceptance, becoming empathetic, and ultimately reducing employee churn by improving your company culture and overall communication.

Donald Miller writes about the importance of clearly defining the steps your hero needs to make in order to do business with you. He explains, at least three steps and no more than six.

For me it’s scheduling an introductory call. Speaking with me, so I can learn more about your needs. Determining the time and date of the workshop. I facilitate the workshop and you see the results. Boom, four simple steps.

I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Donald Miller’s Building a Story Brand for your own business. I found the lessons within to be exceptionally helpful. I also recommend you subscribe to Miller’s podcast for more insights and interviews with branding thought-leaders.

The question isn’t, “How should I start a podcast?” It’s ”Why do I want to start a podcast?”

Over the holidays, I spoke with a friend who was excited about launching a podcast in the new year. He had reached out because of my knowledge of the medium from over thirteen years of producing and listening to podcasts. I started my first podcast in 2005.

Rather than jumping into software, hardware, and marketing recommendations, I asked him why he wanted to start a podcast. He explained that he wanted to use it to promote his clients by interviewing them. I asked him what excited him about podcasting and he admitted, nothing much. He wanted to create a podcast because so many others were. It seemed like the right thing to do. 

Podcasting is popular these days, 26% of Americans listen to podcasts monthly. He thought it would be a great way to build his brand and promote his clients. I asked him if his customers listen to podcasts, he wasn’t sure. 

A podcast is a labor of love (or you have a team)

A podcast is much more work than many people realize. There are two ways to handle this. The first is to commit yourself to many hours of work. Here is a breakdown of what you will be spending your time on for an interview-type show.

• Purchase necessary equipment like a good microphone, headset, and software. 

• Develop the marketing plan for the show. Commit to a publishing frequency like one new episode every Monday. 

• Create or outsource theme music.

• Create or outsource album art. 

• Submit the podcast to directories like Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Soundcloud, Google Podcasts, and new editions like Audible, Pandora, and Spotify. 

• Outreach to your potential guests. Plan for back-and-forth emails to schedule time for each interview. 

• Guest research and show preparation like writing questions. 

• Conduct the actual interviews. 

• Edit interviews and produce each episode. 

• Upload episode file to hosting service. 

• Create a corresponding blog post with show notes for each episode. 

• Promote each new episode and blog post across social media channels and to email newsletter.

• Create social media channels and email newsletter if you don’t already have these.

• Consider purchasing ads online to get more listeners.

• Beg your listeners for iTunes reviews. 

It’s going to cost you time and money

The second option is to outsource the work. This can cost hundreds of dollars per episode. I asked my friend about the budget he was willing to allocate to his podcast. Either way, it would cost him time and money. 

My friend’s idea was to create a podcast to feature interviews with his clients. I asked how his guests would perform in the interviews? Would they be entertaining, inspiring, or helpful to his listeners? He doubted it. He confessed that some might actually sound terrible. 

How would he expect to gain listeners of his podcast if the content wasn’t enjoyable to the listener? In fact, it might actually do a disservice to his clients if they come across inarticulate or standoffish. Plus, if he only gains a few listeners, how will this serve his clients?

I could sense his nodding head over the phone. My honest feedback might have come across a little blunt, but I know I was saving him time and money - that’s what friends are for. 

How about this instead?

I proposed a different idea to reach the same results he strived for: feature his clients and build his brand. Interview his guests via email and feature those interviews on his blog. This would take little time because his clients would provide the bulk of the content by answering his questions. In addition, his clients would likely share their interview with their friends, fans, and followers. This would strengthen his brand and introduce his business to new prospects.  Win-win. 

Are you thinking about starting a podcast this year? Start by asking yourself why. Consider the work it will take and whether there is an easier way to achieve the same results. If you decide a podcast is the right decision, I wish you the best of luck with your show. Send me the link, I would love to check out your podcast.

I am passionate about podcasting, I’ve been doing it on and off since 2005. I am also passionate about helping my clients and friends make the right decisions. By all means, start a podcast, but begin by asking. Why?

I was inspired today. I saw two gentlemen in their 40s at the pool. They were both working with an instructor to learn how to swim. They made me think about how I take my own knowledge and experience for granted. I also have so much to learn in my own life.

As I was leaving, I saw one of the men in the change room. He smiled and exclaimed he was finally learning how to swim. I replied that I thought it was fantastic.

Then I asked him, why? Why was he learning how to swim?

He told me he had always wanted to learn.

I asked him, why?

He smiled confused and said he wanted to learn so he wouldn’t drown.

I asked him, why?

He thought for a moment and said he was doing it so he wouldn’t die, and he could save his kids if he needed to.

“So you’re doing it for your family?” I said.

“Yes, I guess I am.” He laughed nodding in agreement.

There is so much value in the three whys, man.

No, not the three wise men. They did bring some lovely gifts for Jesus though.

I’ve started asking why three times in a row to get to the real meaning of my work. I call it my Three Why’s, Man? It usually results in answers that aren’t necessarily about me. When it goes beyond me, it becomes much more important. I think this is a secret to success.

I’ve started swimming regularly.

Why?

To become healthier this year.

Why?

Because I want to live a long, healthy life.

Why?

So I can enjoy my later days with Heather, and we can watch our kids become adults.

I’m not swimming for me. I’m swimming for them.

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There are currently a few tickets remaining for Geek Breakfast in Nashville on Feb 15th. In order to explain why I decided to host such an event, I need to first explain what Geek Breakfast is.

If you have attended a conference that was an amazing experience, you suffered from conference blues when it was over. The buzz of connecting with so many people in person can’t be denied. The days after are usually a little sad when you return to work and life goes back to normal.

The conference blues are felt even more deeply when you are a conference organizer, or in my case an unconference organizer. You’re exhausted but soon crave that in-person connection and organized chaos again. This is what led me to create a monthly breakfast networking event called Geek Breakfast back in December of 2007.

I co-founded BarCamp Nashville and PodCamp Nashville. The buzz in Nashville during BarCamp was wonderful, but I missed all of my new friends and didn’t want to wait six months until the next gathering So, I created Geek Breakfast as a way we could all stay connected.

Attendees from elsewhere wanted to create their own local Geek Breakfast chapters. Friends like Chris Ennis and Nicholas Holland helped design the old site, so folks could quickly register their own chapters. No strings, no charge - just connection. Chapters sprung up across the US, Canada, South Africa, and Australia.

When I would attend conferences like Gnomedex in Seattle, SXSW in Austin, and New Media Expo in Las Vegas, I would either organize a Geek Breakfast or a tweet-up.

What’s Changed and What Hasn’t

A lot has changed since 2007. Social networks are now powered by algorithms designed to show us what it determines will resonate most - both on a personal and commercial level. We may not see the tweets or updates posted by friends because of this. There is much more noise on social networks now because the laggards have joined the party. Some early adopters have given up altogether. Good people on social networks who just want human connection are now competing with trolls, brands, and bots who are adding noise and creating digital clutter.

I became excited for social networking back in 2007. I was lonely living in a new city. I was craving connection. I used social networks to meet new friends. I used in-person events to meet those online friends in-person.

I’m currently pruning my social network connections for the first time in many years. I’m longing for that excitement and true connection I experienced in the early days of “new media”. I’m also craving in-person connection, so I’ve restarted Geek Breakfast (at least for one event) to reconnect with old friends and make some new ones in Nashville.

We all crave human connection. We still can’t deliver true hugs, high-fives, and handshakes online, so we might as well meet up in person, right?

In keeping with the spirit of supporting community. 100% of proceeds from Geek Breakfast tickets will go to SafeHaven. I hope to see you there on Feb 15th.

UPDATE:

I am so thankful to Google for bringing me to Iqaluit, Nunavut in the Canadian Arctic recently to speak for Grow with Google. Ironically, I personally grew from the experience of traveling to such a remote, amazing place in my homeland, Canada. The following are some discoveries from my brief time in Iqaluit.

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I take low food prices and availability for granted.

No matter how often I try to be thankful, I still take things for granted. The price of goods in the Arctic can often be astronomical. Grapes can cost up to $28 (CDN) and a head of cauliflower is $13. I bought two bottles of water for nearly $14.

While I was visiting, a fire broke out at the main grocery store, NorthMart. The merchandise was either harmed or not available since the store had to close for several days. This put the city into food crisis mode.

Not only are prices of items so dear because of exorbitant shipping fees, but the availability of such goods can also suddenly grind to a stop in an emergency like fire or poor weather.

How to get your baby to sleep

I remember helplessly trying to get Ella to sleep when she was a baby. I would bring her to the bathroom, run the water gently from the tap, and softly bounce her up and down against my chest and shoulder. This worked - sometimes.

In Nunavut, women strap their babies skin-to-skin to their backs. Together with a partner, they produce the most amazing sounds from their throats. This guttural form of singing produces vibrations that lull the baby to sleep.

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Inuit inspired throat singing has even seeped into pop culture in music by bands such as The Jerry Cans (I’m loving their music).

Save the Seals?

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I must admit, I've always sided with organizations like Green Peace without much thought. I still admire much of their work. However, seal hunting is an essential part of Inuit culture that Green Peace has attacked.

Organizations like Greenpeace and PETA have lobbied for an all-out ban on seal hunting. They have successfully reduced the value of a seal pelts from $100 to $10. The Inuit argument is valid and should be seriously considered.

They hunt seals for food and spiritual ceremonies (advance the slides to view a video). Unlike sport hunters, Inuit use every part of the seals they kill. For example, the meat is used to feed many people. The blubber is pounded and the oil derived is used for candles. Even the bones are used for a dice-like game that families play together.

The United Nations commission and other government organizations have made revisions in seal hunting bans to permit Inuit people, but there is a big problem. The Inuit are apart of the global economy, they need to be in order to survive (we all need money). Beyond using seal pelts for their own clothing, they also need to sell these items. The money they earn is used to pay for equipment like rifles, Ski-doos, and gas. The documentary, Angry Inuk, does an excellent job describing this struggle.

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I learned that I should understand both sides of a debate before jumping to conclusions. Yes, seals are cute, but they are paramount for people who were here, as Gordon Lightfoot would sing, "long before the white man and long before the rail”. They deserve our deep respect. Take the argument one step further and understand that Inuit people do far less damage to the earth than we do. Don’t get me started about the push for mineral exploration in their region.

Do much more for your community

I had the great fortune of meeting Mathew Nuqingaq, a local silversmith, metal artist, sculptor, drum dancer, photographer, and educator. I was directed to his Aayuraa Studio in an unassuming, small building. I was nervous to knock on the door. I didn't think I had the right place. Mathew greeted me with a somber stare, "Who are you?" He then pretended not to know any Mathew. I froze in awkwardness as he proceeded to laugh and smile, "I'm Mathew, welcome.”

His jewelry is amazing. I ended up buying Heather two items. It turns out that Mathew is a recognized Canadian artist. I watched a CBC story about how he uses his studio to teach young locals his craft. He doesn't teach them for profit, he does so to empower them.

Mathew reminded me that I need to do much more to support people in my own community. I intend to do this by registering to help non-profits with the Community Foundation of Nashville.

I am also launching a free weekly career counseling and small business support hour. I'll be announcing details to my Nice Maker newsletter subscribers soon on how to book this time with me.

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Iqaluit is a wonderful place, isolated far north of major cities in Canada. Located just west of Greenland in the Baffin Islands. While it gets unbelievably cold, the people are as warm and hospitable as they come.

Thanks to the older couple in the minivan who picked me up along my long walk back to town from the Apex (and saving me from potential polar bear doom). Thanks to Brian for warming me back up with coffee at his shop, Grind and Brew.

Shout outs to the amazing staff at the Nunatta Sunakkutaangit Museum, Simeon at the Library, Gail Hodder, and Ryan Oliver at the Pinnguaq Maker Space. See you next time.

One of the biggest challenges for any consultant is business development. I would be lying if I said my business was booming - always. I’ve written about the big business lie we tell one another before. Business isn’t always great sometimes it’s actually terrible. 

I recently picked up a copy of How Clients Buy: A Practical Guide to Business Development for Consulting and Professional Services by Tom McMakin and Doug Fletcher. I literally found the book on the shelf at the airport and purchased a copy. I usually buy books or get sent books that come recommended to me but the title resonated with me, so I coughed up some cash and dug right in.

The following are my key takeaways directly from How Clients Buy:

It’s crucial that we recognize the seven elements of how clients buy. They have to be aware of your existence. They come to understand what you do and how you’re unique. They develop an interest. They respect your work and are filled with confidence that you can help them. They trust you. They have the ability to pull the trigger. They are ready to do something.

In professional services, we are the product. The biggest challenge in our path to become rainmakers is to unlearn what we think we already know. 

If you want to be remembered, you must find a category where you can be number one. You have to know who you want to serve. Identify the type of company but also the role inside the company who you help. When selling consulting or professional services, the goal is not to identify prospects and process them like corn flakes; it is to identify a community and position ourselves to serve it over time. Prospective clients cannot engage with us unless they know us. Niche yourself and then re-niche yourself over time. 

Create a point of differentiation. When there’s a really clear association in your mind between a person that you trust and the problem that they can solve, it makes it easier to refer you.

Great client relationships are built over time on foundations of trust and are not, by definition, transactional. Respect trumps charm when it comes to most buying decisions for consulting and professional services. Instead of focusing on like in “know, like and trust” focus on respect. They have to know, respect and trust you. 

Clients have to conclude that: What you do is relevant to them and their goals. You have to solve a problem, support a strategic initiative, or promote an organizational agenda that is on their plate. The goal is to be a problem solver. If you can tell them a solution before they recognize they have a problem they need, you are best positioned to win the business.

New business comes from three places: repeat, recommendations, new clients with no relationship. Always start with your current or past clients.

A high-return opportunity with very low risk will attract attention. Dedicate time every day to building genuine relationships with clients and prospective clients. Never underestimate the value of networking and the value of your network. 

The secret to business development is to ask lots of questions. Start from a place of empathy. No one ever needs a consultant until they do.

There are many actionable ideas you will learn in How Clients Buy. I highly recommend you pick up a copy now and dig right in.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

I was out for a morning walk with Peggy today when a gentleman approached asking if he could pet my dog. I said he absolutely could, but beware of her vicious licks. He laughed at my remark, crouched down, and began petting her. As he did, I noticed a large ROLLINS tattoo on his forearm.

I have always been a fan of Henry Rollins’ work. He’s a likeable, sensible, talented guy. One of his earliest and best-known bands was Black Flag, which was certainly a major part of the soundtrack of much of my youth. I always get a little excited when I meet a fellow “grown-up” who is a kindred spirit, so I asked him about the tattoo.

I exclaimed, “You have a Rollins tattoo! Cool.”

”Ya,” he replied, “I’m a songwriter and really dig his stuff.”

“You must be a big Black Flag fan?” I asked.

“No, not really.” He replied while continuing to rub Peg.

“Oh, Rollins Band, then?” I inquired. It's another awesome band he launched years after Black Flag.

“No, I don’t really like his music much. I love his writing, though, I’m a huge fan.”

His reply completely threw me off. Say the words “Henry Rollins,” and I instantly think of this guy. Say the words “Henry Rollins” to Peggy’s new friend, and I expect he would think of this guy. We both aren’t wrong. Henry Rollins was a fantastic singer and frontman, as he is an author and spoken word artist. But I found this moment awkward because of how we both enjoy the same guy for different reasons in our contrasting worlds.

This got me thinking about personal brands and how we can be different things to different people. I sometimes get stuck in my own head thinking about my persona as it applies to my work. By being too many things, I fear this fogs my brand, leaving people wondering what it is I do. It’s especially important that everyone knows what I do, so they recommend me or hire me. I am self-employed, so this is crucial.

Rollins is a singer, poet, author, photographer, spoken-word artist, actor, radio broadcaster, and record label owner. He is many different things to many different people, and he makes his living from all of them combined. How punk rock is that?

Maybe I should cool my inner thinking and instead focus on my life work. This ramble has inspired me to focus on a new project that has been on my backburner for a bit. It's time to shift gears a tad, but I also need to remember what feeds my family.

“I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.”

— Henry Rollins.

Picture deep, dark, waves violently bashing up and down endlessly. This is often how an entrepreneurial journey feels. The waves can be exhausting and dangerous. They can appear like there is no end in sight. 

Zoom out of the picture slowly. The color of the waves is transforming from navy blue to aquamarine. The waves are settling down now as you realize you are not looking deep into an ocean, instead, it is a wave pool at a waterpark. 

These two scenarios sum up entrepreneurship. Some weeks are filled with threatening waves and others are the fun ones you can splash around in. These different waves can appear within the same hour too. Step back and realize you are in a wave pool more often than you think.

Treat entrepreneurship like a visit to a waterpark

When you research and plan the waterslides you most want to ride, you are more likely to achieve these goals. Start with a plan.

Instead of waiting and waiting, show up early to beat the crowds. There will always be other people visiting the park.

Don't judge people. Observe the terrible tattoos and realize everybody makes bad decisions.

As the day goes on, the lines grow longer. If you find yourself at the end of one, refrain from staring up in envy to those at the top. They waited just as long as you did.

Understand that you might not be able to ride every waterslide. You can return another day. In fact, if you travel a little you might discover an even better waterpark waiting for you.

Reward yourself for your hard work by grabbing a tube and floating along the lazy river. You have earned it.

The next time you feel that you are in too deep, take some steps back. Decide what you should do by analyzing the situation. Are you lost, floating in the ocean on the verge of drowning? Or are you in a wave pool? I bet you will find you are in the waterpark far more often than you think.

Make no mistake, you will get wet on this ride.

Photo from Flickr by Cristiano Palese.